THE RAGER! – Optimism in the Absence of CM Punk (The Shield,

In case you’ve refused to read any dirt sheet-style publication in the past month or if you believe that the internet weakens your brain and partaking in any of it’s activities will cause the evil government overlords to seep into your weakened brain-mush, causing you to become their large drone slaves, I have news for you. First off, if you’ve sworn off the internet then you probably wouldn’t be reading this BUT you may have decided to brave the internet just to read my insightful opinions and great ideas…yeah, I didn’t convince myself of that either. The point that I’m trying to make is that CM Punk is expected to take the next few months off (everyone seems to believe until Summer Slam but have no source backing that up…some dirt sheet reporting seems to reflect WWE storytelling sometimes) and that means a lot of people are going to need something to keep them occupied. I guess the other option is to give up watching and complain about the current product but that’s lazy and redundant and that’s just like cheering for Cena. You don’t want to be cheering for Cena, right? That’s what I thought.

But all is not lost because here’s a few things to consider that might help kill time before this alleged Summer Slam they speak of.

The Shield is as hot as ever, we don’t even notice that they hop from one feud to another for absolutely no reason. And why do we give them this pass? Because they’ve yet to screw up or be screwed up by creative, a feat that should be applauded from the top of any and every mountain. How long will it take for somebody behind the scenes to ruin this amazing run? Stay tuned this summer!

We might get MORE Undertaker? Sure the last time he was a roster regular was yet another stint against a mask-less, big baby Kane that went stale quick (never did explain why Nexus helped Kane in that buried alive match) and looked really bad at WM27. However, it’s been 3 years and he showed a lot of energy in the tag match on Raw. Sure it might be asking a lot of him to be in a one-on-one match every single week but if we get him involved in A match in most of the summer PPV’s, consider us spoiled.

The break up of Team Friendship is inevitable and that might not be a thing to be celebrated in itself but I’m more excited about what might happen after said break up. Daniel Bryan and Kane have the best chemistry we’ve seen in a while and yes, tag team break ups are completely played out and overdone but I am excited to see a match between these two. And besides, this will free up Daniel Bryan to get back to singles wrestling and, inevitably, back into the championship picture and I dare anyone to be bummed about that.

Will WWE actually build Fandango any more or will they just ride the NJ crowd phenomenon all the way into the ground? MORE TO COME!

I’m intrigued (a word I can never remember how to spell) by this new heel Ryback. With Punk taking a vacation, the company needed that top heel for Cena and I can’t honestly think of any top level heel that would’ve been able to fill that role. So what makes sense? Take the other face that gets a Cena-like reception from kids and meat-heads and make people boo him. Yes, it’s an interesting story of a guy on the rise that gets overshadowed by Cena, it’s a story we’ve seen played out on internet articles for the past ten years and Ryback had some good moments in his conversation with Mick Foley. However, somebody needs to explain to Ryback what constitutes as a “zinger” line or at least make him conscious of the tone he creates. Here’s exhibit A from a moment before
Wrestlemania where Ryback throws Santino onto Mark Henry and yells “I didn’t touch you, stupid.” The tone he created in that moment is that of the kid in the neighborhood nobody wanted to play with but had to because your mom made you. And then there’s exhibit B from last night’s Raw. I had to watch Raw muted and actually read the closed caption transcript, so I’m not exactly sure how this moment came across to everyone else. Essentially Mick Foley was making his point and it came time for Ryback to respond, he did so by repeating “Shut up, Foley.” Just reading the closed captioning, it across as a child being picked on a little too much and was about to burst into tears, as a former weak, sickly child…I know the signs. So either one or two things will happen this summer, we will get a new childish response out of Ryback that we can all laugh at or WWE actually builds a compelling heel. Honestly, I’m okay with both.

There’s a possibility lower talent will get somewhat of a change, push or actual camera time. That’s something, right?

We’ve got Jericho at least for a little while longer.

Finally, Ziggler is the World Heavyweight Champion so you have nothing to complain about.

Be sure to check out this week’s Classy Ring Attire podcast. If you want to submit a question or comment to the new “Chris’ Mail Sack” segment, you can do so by sending them to our email classyringattire@gmail.com or on twitter @CRAttire.

Kickstarter update: our animated short film we’re raising money for (Moon Bear) is now up to $2,100! Thank to everyone that’s helped us so far, we still have 19 days to raise $1,400. if you would like to help us out, click here.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: So my coworker believes that Leia would get it on with an ewok before she would with Lando…discuss.

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