THE RAGER! My Ruling on the Extreme (The Shield, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler)

It’s that PPV that took forever to actually happen. Again, this time last year, we were already past ER and working towards Over The Limit. So with all these weeks of build, that means we have a bunch of developed feuds and stories that we’ll REALLY into, right? Right? Guys?

Youtube Pre-Show

The Miz vs Cody Rhodes
So Miz returns this past week after shooting a tv movie and alludes that he’s going after Wade Barrett and the IC title. So they book the obvious match with a random wrestler and keep the IC champ off the show completely.

Fandango vs Chris Jericho
Not exactly sure what these two are fighting over these days or if their characters are just going off hatred now. I’m just hoping for a more polished match so I can make up my mind about how I feel about Fandango overall.

Randy Orton vs Big Show (Extreme Rules Match)
I completely nothing this match, there’s no eloquent way to put it. I say scrap this and let AJ and Kaitlyn go at it. That’s right, I’d rather see a Divas match than this.

Sheamus vs Mark Henry (Strap Match)
Again, not sure why these two are fighting. Maybe they’re both mad that they got left out to dry when their feuds ran off to do other stuff. Strap matches have always seemed a little dopey to me combined with two of the dopiest wrestlers on the roster.

Team Friendship vs Reigns & Rollins (Tornado Tag Match for Tag Team Championship)
I’m incredibly excited for this match because tornado tag is something that really needs to happen more often because the concept of the hot tag is so overplayed and tired. Secondly, this match is full of amazing wrestlers, the weakest of the bunch being Roman but even he is growing on me. As much as I love Team Friendship as champions, maybe it’s time for Shield to have it as they are the hotter commodity (if not the hottest).

Kofi Kingston vs Dean Ambrose (US Championship Match)
Another one to be excited for seeing as how we all love Ambrose and Kofi has had another place-holder run as champ. Sure, the US belt doesn’t really mean much these days but the idea of having Shield adding golden belts to their tactical gear is pretty enticing.

Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger (I Quit Match)
I understand that Ziggler is in no shape to perform after the concussion but replacing a Ladder Match with an I Quit Match is like taking Rosario Dawson out of a sex scene and replacing her with Maggie “Sea Donkey” Gyllenhaal, you’ll watch it but you’ll do so with a scowl on your face. I understand they had to throw something together because of the Ziggler injury and I prefer this over just taking the title off Ziggler but this booking is just weak sauce.

Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (Cage Match)
This feud just won’t die, it’s the Rasputin feud. It expired, it needs to die but WWE is still convinced everyone cares about this. And it’s not even about the wrestlers themselves, I’m just beyond ready to see them fight somebody else. Anybody else. We’ve all seen WWE try to shove feuds down our throats and convince us that we like it but this is excessive, even for them.

John Cena vs Ryback (Last Man Standing Match for WWE Championship)
I had decent hopes for this feud but now I’m already tired of it. Ryback is still talking like a meat-headed 5th grader and Cena is still trying to sell like the underdog. Unless they do something to wow me on Sunday, I don’t have high hopes for this feud anymore.

Including the pre-show, WWE has booked 9 matches for a 3 1/2 hour PPV. Remember that time that WWE booked 10 matches for a 4 1/2-hour Wrestlemania 29 and had to scramble that last half and scrapped 1 match?

Maybe I’m just burnt out on seeing them have to build for 5 weeks after Wrestlemania (which they built for even longer). I spent the last two weeks combing through Raws and PPVs from the previous year because I just don’t have anything interesting to add to a bunch of feuds that came out of nowhere and don’t have much of a future ahead of them. Now that he’s taking a break, I can see just how much WWE has been relying on Punk as a crutch to provide actual meat to their content. I don’t have high hopes for this PPV so maybe that means it’ll actually be decent. Maybe if Shield wins some gold, they can add some more interesting segments on Raw. Possibly after Ziggler recovers and beats whoever the #1 contender is, WWE will finally take the leash off of him and put him up against somebody he can actually bounce off of (both figuratively and literally). WWE just needs to put in more effort to get us through both the Pocket of Suck and a Punk-less summer. Easier said than done.

Be sure to check out the Classy Ring Attire podcast coming later in the week and follow us on twitter (@CRAttire).

Our kickstarter for MOON BEAR finished up over the weekend and we raised over $4,000 which greatly exceeded our goal of $3500. I just wanted to express my appreciation that helped by becoming backers or simply shared our link to your friends. It’s such an exciting experience and I can’t wait until everybody can see the finished product.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: Ziggles could sell the birth certificate conspiracy to Obama and then sell Michelle a plate of bacon-covered cookies

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