Yeah, this happened. Sorry, Rhett; I couldn’t resist.
I hate to admit this, but my patience is wearing thin with the current state of professional wrestling. I don’t have the time nor the energy to check out indy feds and I’ve become content with simply reading the recaps for TNA Impact rather than taking the time to sit down and watch it. As such, the only constant habit I have is watching Raw on Monday nights and Smackdown on the weekends, and even THAT is becoming a chore. I often find myself fast-forwarding through entire matches on Raw just to get to the plot development segments that I tend to shake my head at in disbelief.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m on the tail end of the coveted 18-34 male demographic the WWE has been trying to hold onto for the last decade (30-and-a-half, to be precise) and my interest has waned because I’m just “too damn old for this shit.” I don’t know. However, I would like to take this time to just jot down some notes on the state of things, WWE-wise, in a feature I like to call, “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.”
1. CM Punk’s Status
The Good: Punk is being given as much time off as he wants to heal up and is also reportedly waiting for a decent reason to return.
The Bad: CM Punk is not currently on my TV screen. This makes me a sad panda.
The Ugly: If it’s true that Punk is not confident with current projected storylines and is waiting for a change of pace, we could be in this rut for the foreseeable future.
2. Brock Lesnar
The Good: His feud with Triple H is finally over!
The Bad: Brock won’t be back until SummerSlam to face The Undertaker.
The Ugly: His ability to potentially make a new star is being wasted on Legends and former main eventers.
3. The Shield Holds the Gold
The Good: In a move NOBODY disagreed with, The Shield now bring prominence back to the Tag Team and United States Championships.
The Bad: Ambrose might not have trouble finding midcard competition, but Reigns and Rollins are stuck in a dead division.
The Ugly: Instead of making new top guys, more than likely the next set of champions will be overexposed main eventers who don’t need a push.
4. Triple H’s “Concussion”
The Good: This will keep Triple H off TV for some time.
The Bad: We’re supposed to care about the “mental health” of a character who, in storyline, had no issue ending careers and backstabbing friends. This is NOT how you build sympathy.
The Ugly: With the legit concussion of Dolph Ziggler the talk of the town, it seems highly irresponsible to make light of it in kayfabe. But this IS the WWE, right?
5. The World Heavyweight Championship
The Good: Dolph Ziggler is FINALLY the WHC and for longer than 3 minutes this time!
The Bad: Dolph’s out with a legitimate concussion.
The Ugly: His competition are currently two boring acts: the obnoxious uberpatriot Swagger and the “Aw shucks” unlikely babyface del Rio.
6. The Upper Midcard
The Good: Kofi Kingston, Antonio Cesaro, The Shield, Randy Orton, and Team Hell No.
The Bad: The Miz, Wade Barrett, Sheamus, Big Show, Fandango, and Mark Henry.
The Ugly: Other than The Shield and Daniel Bryan, do you honestly think anybody worthwhile in the midcard is going to go anywhere? Kofi has been stuck on the proverbial same rung of the ladder for years, Cesaro is getting mixed reviews backstage, and the company has had a habit in recent years of pushing guys who aren’t connecting with the audience.
7. John Cena and Ryback
The Good: SuperCena took quite a beating at Extreme Rules, to the delight of the IWC and 50% of the WWE Universe.
The Bad: He’s set to face Ryback in a lame-ass Ambulance Match.
The Ugly: John Cena is WWE Champion. In 2013. And our alternative is a poorly-booked Goldberg 2.0.
8. Curtis Axel
The Good: The son of the late, great Curt Hennig is finally getting a push. Gone is the horrendous moniker of “Michael McGillicutty.”
The Bad: “Curtis Axel”? Really?
The Ugly: CURTIS FUCKING AXEL?!
Now go and discuss.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
