THE RAGER! The All-Star Money in the Bank Spectacular! (Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes)

Of course we get a month of decent WWE programming to lead up to what has become one of WWE’s better PPV’s from a consistency standpoint. Was it all gold? Of course not but who ever expects that out of WWE?

Pre-Show:
WWE Tag Team Championship
The Shield(c) vs The Usos

Not exactly sure what Shield is doing on the pre-show but kudos, I guess, to WWE for putting people we actually give a crap about on the pre-show to make sure we tune in. I’ve been a proponent of the Usos however, most of that was a year or two ago and now I feel almost nothing for them. How WWE never put the belts on Usos back when the company barely had 3 teams total, is beyond me. So yeah, they get their big shot but it’s against Shield and they don’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Divas Championship
AJ(c) vs Kaitlyn

This feud has dissolved down to typical Diva wacky hijinks that we all rolled our eyes at back when LayCool was pulling them out of the bag. And as always, we can’t just have these two Divas involved, they always have to be accompanied by their best friends (of the week) because apparently Layla and Alicia Fox are contractually obligated to insert themselves into Diva story lines because they are the senior Diva members. I still find myself caring about this storyline but only faintly due to the seemingly random additional characters that have latched on. Of course, I’m not talking about Big E because he’s a wonderful soul that can do no wrong.

Intercontinental Championship
Curtis Axel(c) vs Miz

I had an opening line for this that was about Miz reaching his limit on pre-show matches but then I realized he was on the PPV last month…would’ve been funny, I swear.

This match completely slipped my mind with Axel seemingly spending all of his time with Heyman and Punk. It’s like WWE really wanted Axel to seem like a big deal last month and this month, they don’t know what to do with them. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t originally plan for him to be the IC champ? Possibly. But WWE is so use to scrapping plans that this shouldn’t affect them. Of course there’s always the possibility that WWE just needed a match to take up space on the PPV card and so they slapped this together.

Chris Jericho vs Ryback

Remember what I said about the previous match? Double shot of that applies here. No reason for this match and we’ve barely seen Ryback at all. Sure, Jericho is willing to put Ryback over but this entire thing is just because they eyed each other in Vickie’s office. One can assume that Ryback is going to destroy Jericho either at MitB or at Summer Slam because we all know Jericho is going to go back to Fozzy soon.

World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto Del Rio(c) vs Dolph Ziggler

My gut instinct was to trash this match just because it’s Del Rio but then I remember that they had the best match from the last PPV so should I really be so hard on this one? Ziggler is 100% and gradually making his way through face waters whereas Del Rio is resorting to his old heel self (sans cars). There hasn’t been much developing with this story other than Ricardo getting his first wellness violation but, again, if they can pull off even a fraction of their last match, color me grateful.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs Mark Henry

Remember when Mark Henry faked his retirement to get a championship match against Cena? Doesn’t that seem so long ago? Because of that segment, I found myself actually looking forward to a month of promos out of these two. And how was I repaid for this interest? Virtually nothing. The promos where the only thing I was looking forward to because I knew the match was going to be a a pile of hot garbage but I apparently couldn’t get that much.

The B Team Money in the Bank Match
Damien Sandow vs Dean Ambrose vs Cody Rhodes vs Jack Swagger vs Antonio Cesaro vs Fandango vs Wade Barrett

Remember the days when winning the MitB match was simply a foregone conclusion for Wade Barrett? Now it seems like it would be a miracle for WWE to get behind him at all. Personally, it’s my biggest wish for Cesaro to win this but I know how unlikely that is seeing as how he’s only now joining Zeb Coulter and Swagger and I doubt WWE is going to tinker with that just yet. Swagger has no chance of this, I think WWE is putting him in the match out of courtesy. As much as I still like Sandow, he’s not quite at that point in his career yet.

I believe it comes down to Ambrose, Rhodes and Fandango. WWE is still big on making Fandango work and we all assumed he would’ve been IC champ had he not suffered a concussion. As we’ve all seen recently, holding the blue briefcase puts you at about the same level as the midcard champs so this wouldn’t be a huge stretch from their original plans for Dango. Ambrose is Ambrose and we would all love for him to win this but I’m not sure how WWE feels about one guy holding several belts anymore but that may just be because it’s been a few years since we’ve seen it. I wonder if Ambrose would paint the suitcase black because that shiny blue seems like it would clash with all the black tactical gear.

That brings me to Cody. His biggest downfall was being in a MitB match with Ziggler, the only guy that seemed more ready for a top belt than him. Had this match happened last year, there’s no way that Cody would’ve lost but now I’m not so sure because of the lackluster year that he’s had.

The Super Awesome Hyperbole All Star Money in the Bank Match
CM Punk vs Rob Van Dam vs Daniel Bryan vs Kane? vs Randy Orton vs Sheamus vs Christian

After the Wyatt Family debut this past Monday, we’re unsure if Kane will compete and I have no idea who will replace him if he doesn’t. Either way, it seems like the winner of this will come down to either Daniel Bryan or Randy Orton. Randy is still slowly digging out of the hole that 2012 left him and DB has been tearing through the roster. It really doesn’t matter which wins because those two will probably be feud with each other once one of them cashes in and wins the belt.
Sheamus still needs to stay in the background for a little while.
We’re all smelling a Brock interference that’ll cost Punk the briefcase and lead to their inevitable Summer Slam match.

Rob Van Dam will get a great pop and he’ll get the spot of the night but that’s about it.

Christian will just be happy to make it to the ring without injuring his shoulder.

Unrelated: The Wyatt family promos and debut was exactly what I wanted. Sure the family members attack on Kane left a little to be desire but it’s really early and I’ll wait and see. As for Bray? That kid is something special. Could’ve done without the “Husky Harris” chants but I won’t really go into that too much because CB and his commenters basically covered it all. I’m assuming it’s the same fans that chant “Goldberg” and “Albert” and they have every right to do but let’s just give it a rest. We all know he had a different name, doesn’t mean you have to be dicks about it.

Remember to catch Classy Ring Attire later in the week but for now, catch up on last week’s episode.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer:
Join the Libertarians. We don’t have cookies because we don’t believe in handouts. Be an American and make your own.

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