Flatlining: Would you rather… (Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Jake Roberts)


If you’re wondering why I haven’t written anything for the past month and change, it’s because I wrote a bunch of columns last year that are pretty much still relevant to today’s product. A lot of other writers will cover the same ground for several weeks in a row and while it might sustain their fan-base or whatever, they should really be aiming to get their point across in as few words as possible. If you can read, and I’m assuming you can, you probably know which characters I do and do not like by now, so you won’t be seeing many jabs at insert_midcarder_here during the next seven hundred or so words. And you can relax, i’m not gonna ask you to fuck one, marry another and kill whoever’s left.

A lot of writers have covered the shit out of muh boy D-Bry right here, but they seem to forget about the rest of the WWE, the way the company is run and, uh, the past 30 years. Let’s get the big question out of the way then…



A) Have Daniel Bryan beat Cena for the title, then drop it during the rematch.

B) Have Daniel Bryan beat Curtis Axel for the IC title and become the greatest IC Champ since insert_your_favorite_IC_Champion_ here.

You can only pick one, obviously. You may want an option C, or even D, E and F. That’s really your (and my) problem though, we’re all gonna have to deal with Cena being an entity until he hurts himself.

The IC title may or may not have any value in your eyes, but repeating that sentiment over and over again will never change that. How do you make it worth something?


Cody Rhodes held it for six months and nobody ranked him or the title any higher at the end of that run, so that’s probably not the case.


The Shield are a big thing, but rather than thinking Ambrose is elevating a somewhat worthless title, people seem to think it’s dragging him down.


What was the last match you caught on RAW or SmackDown that was above average? And don’t go running off to Scott Keith’s blog here, I’m talking about you personally. If that match featured Bryan and he is your top guy right now, isn’t that the solution?

Maybe Bryan isn’t your guy for whatever reason, that’s fine. Let’s talk about some other guys stuck between midcard and main event level:

The Ryback was squashing jobbers left and right when he first showed up, but then he was put into a Hell in a Cell match for the WWE title and his 38 match streak went down the shitter. Prior to facing CM Punk, The Ryback had a non-title match with Miz (who was IC Champ at the time). If The Ryback had went on to face Miz in a title match at the PPV, win and wreak havoc on the midcard scene he would’ve been seen as something more important than what he is now, and the same goes for the title.

Maybe Fella is you’re guy. He’s a cheeky Irish rogue who loves nothing more than a good fight, right? If he’s not fighting for glory or money or insert_other_character_motivation_here, why should he care about what title scene he’s a part of? If you loved that 18 second win against Bryan at Wrestlemania last year, chances are you would have loved to see him do it to Cody Rhodes (which would’ve avoided that weird Big Show storyline).

A lot of people think their guy is fantastic and seek WWE’s on-air approval of their feelings. You see it in columns, you see it in comments and on twitter, we’re like a needy puppy or a small child. Back when we were children though? We didn’t care about whether or not our top guy was being held back by the company, we were just happy to see them on the show.

With Curtis Axel showing up, a lot of people have been talking about how good Mr. Perfect was and how much they liked him, but Perfect never went higher than the IC Title. Neither did Roddy Piper, Razor Ramon, Owen Hart, William Regal…  Jake “The Snake” Roberts never won a single strap with the WWF. The biggest title he held during his 400 year career was the SMW Heavyweight Championship. He didn’t need a belt in order to have great storylines and matches.

Jake never wrestled Hulk Hogan because Hulk going over would’ve hurt both guys as well as the company (Jake DDT’d Hogan during a Snake-Pit segment and the crowd rejoiced, the feud was never mentioned again). Bryan’s in that same situation right now and no amount of internet fanaticism will change that.

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