WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results for 8/5/13: Daniel Bryan’s Corporate Makeover

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Tonight is the corporate makeover of Daniel Bryan. Because of course the McMahons have to get involved in this storyline. Hopefully it leads to Daniel Bryan applying the Yes Lock to Vince.

Your Beard Is Weird!

RAW started with Stephanie McMahon in the ring. She said she knows Vince doesn’t think Daniel Bryan is WWE Champion material, but HHH and her disagree and she asked Bryan to take part in a corporate makeover. They showed a video montage of Bryan getting made over, including eating meat and getting fit for a suit. Bryan then came out live with a suit on and hair pulled back in a ponytail. Stephanie told Bryan that he looked sharp.

Bryan asked the crowd if they liked it and they booed. He thanked Stephanie for the time she put into everything. Bryan said they wanted a guy more like John Cena. Bryan said Cena is a movie star and he’s 5’8 with a scraggly beard from the middle of nowhere. He asked how anyone like him could beat John Cena. Bryan said it was because Cena is an entertainer, and he is a wrestler. Bryan said Cena hasn’t seen the holes he has dug himself out of. Bryan said if Cena gets fired tomorrow, he goes back to his fancy lifestyle and will never wrestler again. If Bryan gets fired tomorrow, he will be wrestling in every gymnasium there is because he loves wrestling. Bryan said he will be corporate for now, but at SummerSlam he will make John Cena tap out.

Vince McMahon came out. He made fun of Bryan’s look. He said he doesn’t want John Cena to be WWE Champ and he wants Daniel Bryan as Champ even less. He said he’s warming up to Bryan. They’ve never had a Champ built like a toothpick, or someone that looks like a miniature Mick Foley. Vince said the makeover needs one more thing, the shaving of his beard. A barber chair was wheeled out. Vince said if Bryan wants to be WWE Champ he should get in the chair. Vince asked Wade Barrett to come out and shave Bryan’s beard. Because apparently Barrett’s beard is well kept. Bryan head butted Barrett and shaved off one side of his beard, then tossed him over the barricade. Bryan said he wasn’t changing, then ripped off his shirt and tie to reveal a t-shirt that said “The Beard Is Here.”

Segment Analysis: If they don’t put the WWE Title on Bryan after all of this I will be shocked. It seems like they are trying to elevate Bryan in the eyes of the fans by having him interact with the McMahons on a weekly basis, which is good for the casual viewers. And Bryan doesn’t seem like a guy that is intimidated being in the ring with Vince. Solid segment. Survey Says: 3/5

The Poor Bucket Never Stood A Chance

Rob Van Dam vs Alberto del Rio. RVD started with a kick off the ropes then a standing moonsault for two. RVD tossed Del Rio onto the apron and kicked him off, then hit a moonsault off the apron into commercial. Back from break RVD hit a couple of clotheslines, but Del Rio moved out of the way of Rolling Thunder and hit a kick to the head. RVD ducked an enziguri kick and caught Del Rio with a kick off the top rope, then hit Rolling Thunder for two. RVD went for the split leg moonsault but Del Rio got his knees up. Ricardo set the bucket up in the corner, but RVD reversed it and throw Del Rio into the bucket instead. RVD rolled up Del Rio to pick up the win.

After the match Del Rio took out Ricardo with a kick to the head and multiple punches. He then set Ricardo’s head in between the steps and ring apron and kicked the steps into Ricardo’s head.

Match Analysis: The match itself was short. It looks like they are teasing the possibility of a Triple Threat Match at SummerSlam. I prefer a singles match, but if RVD has nothing better to do I understand. I don’t know if that was to future endeavor Ricardo, or set up a feud with him down the line. Your guess is as good as mine. Either way, it was a good way to get Del Rio some heat. Survey Says: 3/5

Are Damp Contracts Legal In The Wrestling World?

Cody Rhodes was in the ring. He said he had a gift for Damien Sandow. They showed the recap of what has happened between Sandow and Rhodes. Cody then revealed the Smackdown MITB Briefcase, damp and with seaweed in it. Sandow told Cody to put the briefcase down and leave. Cody did but came back in and attacked Sandow. Cody opened the briefcase and revealed a wet contract, throwing it back at Sandow.

Segment Analysis: I like that they are building up an angle between these two, it is just a shame that the crowd doesn’t seem to want to get behind it. Cody has lost some steam since Money in the Bank. Anytime they build a mid-card feud, I’m all for it. I just wish it would catch on better. I don’t think the crowd knows how to react to Cody as a face. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Mark Henry vs Ryback. Henry started with a shoulder tackle but Ryback bounced back with a clothesline to take him down. Henry came back with another shoulder tackle.Ryback bailed after Henry went for an elbow and got himself counted out. What was the point of that?

Backstage the Bellas talked about Total Divas. Eva Marie came in for no reason, then Natalya. The Bellas said it was an embarrassment to have her on their show. Natalya then slapped one of the Bellas.

Brad Maddox Channeling His Inner Teddy Long

John Cena came out. Cena said he was used to being a target. He said sometimes he has to stand face-to-face with a true fan favorite like Daniel Bryan. He said a lot of people choose to side with Bryan over him. Cena said there was a lot of truth in what Bryan said, but there was also a lot of ignorance. Cena said Bryan is just like CM Punk and The Rock ripping on his lifestyle. Cena said he changes for no one. Cena said Bryan brings up wrestling in gymnasiums because that is where he is comfortable and would much rather want to be. Cena said he loves working for the WWE. Cena said Bryan can glorify his past all he wants, but that is the past and he needs to worry about his future. Cena said millions of people say he can’t wrestle. Cena told Bryan to keep under-estimating him just like everyone else. Cena said after Bryan loses at SummerSlam he will have to live with the failure. He said the Champ is here and we will have to deal with it.

Randy Orton came out to the ring. Orton said Cena is never aware of the target staring him in the face. It doesn’t matter who wins at SummerSlam. Cena needs to worry about the MITB contract. Orton said you never know when it can happen, but that the Champ is here. Orton held up the MITB Briefcase. The Shield’s music played and they came down and surrounded the ring. Before they could attack, Daniel Bryan came down to even the sides. Brad Maddox came out and made a six man tag for the main event.

Segment Analysis: I guess I was indifferent about Cena’s promo. I like when he is serious, but it is always the same promo from him when he does it. I may not like Cena, but even I will admit he can hold his own in the ring. Big tag match later which should get plenty of time. Orton dropping in to remind Cena about MITB was a good touch too. Survey Says: 3/5

Ring of Fire?

Luke Harper and Erik Rowan vs Tons of Funk. Rowan landed some punches on Tensai. Tensai hit a headbutt but Harper came in to take him out. Clay took out Harper and went for his corner splash, but Rowan knocked him down with a shoulder tackle. Rowan then hit a splash on Clay to pick up the win. Bray Wyatt came in and hit his finisher on Brodus Clay. Wyatt came in and said Kane was a fairy tale, but he was the man of a thousand truths. Wyatt told Kane to follow the buzzards. Kane appeared on the titantron. He said Wyatt is here to mutilate everyone that crosses his path. Kane said he does the same things, but he does it for his own personal amusement. Kane said at SummerSlam, he will find out why he is the Devil’s Favorite Demon. Kane said no one will be able to save him from a ring surrounded by a ring of fire. Wyatt laughed in the ring as the ringpost went off with flames.

Segment Analysis: So an Inferno Match at SummerSlam? The WWE hasn’t done one in years and I can’t see them doing one in the PG Era. Kane’s response to the Wyatt’s was good. Again, an undercard feud that the WWE is intent on building. Fine with me. Survey Says: 3/5

CM Punk was interviewed. He said at SummerSlam the Beast will be neutered, and Heyman will lose everything.

Layla defeated Kaitlyn after AJ distracted her on the outside.

Christian vs Heath Slater. Slater took it to Christian early then applied a headlock. McIntyre and Mahal each landed some cheap shots. Christian got his foot up on Slater jumping off the top. Christian hit a faceplant and dropkick for two. Christian backdropped Slater but Slater threw Christian into the corner. Slater taunted Christian, who then hit a Spear for the win.

Man, I Want SummerSlam To Get Here NOW

CM Punk vs Curtis Axel. Punk met Axel up the ramp and Heyman ran to the back. Both men exchanged blows on the ramp and worked their way back to the ring. Punk took control early. He hit three leg snaps to the ground. Punk tossed Axel to the outside then hit a dive through the ropes into commercial.

Back from break Axel had control. Axel hit a clothesline then a bodyslam. Axel connected on a knee drop from the top then applied a headlock. Paul Heyman walked out from the back. Punk got out with a backdrop. Punk was distracted by Heyman on the outside, allowing Axel to hit a clothesline. Punk caught Axel with a kick to the gut then a crossbody. Punk went to chase Heyman on the outside but Axel again caught him with a clothesline. Axel missed an axe handle and splash in the corner. Punk started a comeback with some axe handles and a swinging nechbreaker. Punk hit a high knee. Punk went to the top but Axel knocked him off. Heyman talked to Axel but Punk grabbed him and took him into the ring.

Brock Lesnar came out to confront Punk. Axel pulled Punk out of the ring but Punk hit him with a GTS. Lesnar met Punk on the outside and blocked a chair shot. Punk pushed Lesnar shoulder first into the post and Punk hit some kicks to Lesnar’s shoulder. Punk dove off the announce table and knocked down Lesnar. Lesnar recovered and hit a scary looking belly-to-belly on the floor. Lesnar tossed Punk into the ring and went for the F5. Punk fought out and landed some more kicks then a chair shot on Lesnar. Punk turned his attention to Heyman, allowing Lesnar to recover and hit an F5 then a couple chair shots to the back of Punk.

Segment Analysis: Just another great build up to this match. Punk plays the never say die underdog well and this segment made you believe Punk has a chance against Lesnar. I continue to say, the one thing I love about CM Punk is that you believe everything he does in the ring. He looks like he isn’t afraid of Lesnar and is willing to go all out to beat him. Great segment. Survey Says: 4/5

Backstage, Brock Lesnar said he was the Best of the Best of the Best, then told Heyman to say something stupid. Heyman said he is man enough to fight next week, and challenged CM Punk to a match next week.

Fandango vs a returning Kofi Kingston. Fandango had the upper hand early and worked over Kofi’s arm. Kofi escaped a headlock and started his traditional comeback. He hit the Boom Drop but Fandango bailed before the SOS. Fandango caught him with a kick to the head. Kofi ducked a shot off the top and hit a crossbody. Kofi then connected on Trouble in Paradise for the win.

Stephanie cried about Vince apparently yelling at her backstage. HHH said Vince has lost his mind and that he is sick of watching this sinking ship go down. He said whatever Vince has planned at SummerSlam, he will stop him.

Zeb Colter was in the ring with Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro. He said the Packers were overrated and told everyone in Green Bay they should leave. They’re fighting The Usos. Swagger caught Jimmy Uso with an elbow then tossed him in the air for a Cesaro upper cut. Swagger hit a Swagger Bomb then Cesaro came in and jumped over Swagger and hit a body stomp. Swagger then caught a kick to the head from Jimmy who tagged in Jey. Jey went to pin Cesaro but Swagger broke it up. Jimmy then tossed Swagger to the outside and hit a dive. Jey hit Cesaro with a kick coming off the top rope for two. Swagger tossed Jimmy into the ringpost, then caught Jey with a right hand. Cesaro hit the Neutralizer for the win. Short but decent match.

More AJ In Pigtails!

Dolph Ziggler vs Big E. Dolph connected on a dropkick early. Big E went for a powerslam but Dolph escaped, but Big E came right back with a shoulder tackle to the outside. Big E applied an abdominal stretch. Big E threw Dolph into the corner and charged at him, but Dolph moved and Big E went into the post. Dolph hit a splash and swinging neckbreaker for two. Big E  side stepped Dolph and hit a backbreaker. Dolph moved out of the way of a splash. Dolph missed bad on a Fameasser for two. Kaitlyn came down to ringside and attacked AJ. They brawled into the ring. Dolph got distracted and caught a clothesline from Big E then the Big Ending for the win.

Segment Analysis: Well that explains why Dolph and Big E have been wrestling one-on-one lately. Looks like a mixed tag match at SummerSlam. I guess that works, but I think this is a step down for Dolph. The blow off for the Dolph/Big E feud should be better. Survey Says: 2/5

Why Couldn’t This Start 15 Minutes Earlier?

Main Event time. Seth Rollins started with Randy Orton. Rollins landed some kicks in the corner but Orton came right back with some punches and a suplex. Bryan came in and hit a dropkick off the top. Ambrose tagged in and hit a clothesline then a dive to the outside on Ambrose. He threw Rollins into the ringpost, but ate a dropkick from Ambrose on the apron. Reigns came in and hit a clothesline. Rollins came back in and applied a headlock. Reigns came back in and tossed Bryan in the air and dropped him on Rollins knees. Bryan caught Reigns with a kick to the head and made a tag to Cena, but the ref was distracted by Ambrose so he didn’t see it.

All hell broke loose. Rollins tossed Bryan into Orton and rolled up Bryan for two. Bryan applied the Yes Lock but Ambrose and Reigns broke it up causing a DQ. The Shield were cleared from the ring. Orton hit an RKO on Bryan. The Shield tried fighting back but Orton and Cena cleared the ring again. Orton then caught Cena with an RKO and teased a MITB cash in. Orton grabbed the briefcase but The Shield started walking back to the ring. They took out Cena and hit the triple powerbomb on Bryan as Orton walked away and watched on.

Segment Analysis: Why couldn’t this match have gotten another ten minutes? I was looking forward to it and only got a little bit. It seems like we know the players in the WWE Title picture for the next couple months. I wouldn’t say Orton fully went heel there, as they were playing up the MITB cash in more than anything. But everything is being planted for the turn down the line which is something needed badly for Orton. The WWE is lacking in the heel department and Orton could be their top guy. The WWE made it known tonight that Orton is a player with his MITB contract. Survey Says: 3.5/5

OVERALL

I thought from a storyline standpoint, this was a solid episode of RAW. There was another great segment involving CM Punk, Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. If Punk and Lesnar’s brawls are any indication, we should be in for a good fight at SummerSlam. The Daniel Bryan and John Cena promos were good. The more Bryan interacts with Vince McMahon, the more I like his chances as a main eventer down the line. I was okay with Orton being involved in the WWE Title stuff all night. They aren’t going to add him to the WWE Title Match, but they want people to have the thought of him cashing in on their minds. The Wyatt/Kane stuff was interesting. I still find it hard to believe the WWE would do an Inferno Match in the PG Era. I do have a feeling RVD gets added to the World Title Match, making it a Triple Threat. It was also nice to see The Shield standing tall at the end. While there wasn’t a lot of wrestling, there was good storyline advancement. Not great, but good. I’m going to give the show a 6.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka