THE RAGER! Musings of an Indecisive Wrestling Fan (CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro)

I’m having one of those weeks where I’m coming up with a complete blank on just about everything. This especially pertains to this week’s RAGER! Sure, there’s plenty to talk about going on in WWE right now but is really any of that interesting or isn’t being talked to death by everyone on the internet? I swear I try my hardest to come up with something compelling for you all to read on a weekly basis. Of course, whether or not I succeed in this isn’t really my place to say so. Perhaps I’m having a rough time thinking of topics for discussion because I don’t have anything in particular to complain about. I’m not saying everything in WWEland is perfect, that’ll never happen in any promotion. But seriously, what all is there to complain about because that’s the true blank that I’m drawing.

Daniel Bryan is in the WWE title picture and there’s a legit uncertainty if Cena will win or not. This fact alone should have the entire internet wetting themselves.

CM Punk is on our TV on a weekly basis and having verbal bouts against Paul Heyman. Most importantly, this tends to keep the microphone out of Brock’s hands (for the most part). Punk also gives WWE reason to finally keep Brock away from HHH. Let us rejoice!

Randy Orton has something to do and doesn’t seem to be half-assing matches nearly as much as we’ve grown accustomed (I expect this problem to return soon enough).

Cody Rhodes is doing something that’s beginning to shake him out of the funk he’s been in over the past year. This program also includes Damien Sandow getting a WHC chance in the near future. That point may not mean much for all of you but it makes me happy and that’s the important thing, yes?

We get to see the Mr.McMahon character on a weekly basis and this time we get a renewal of the Vince/Steph power struggle that we’ve all grown to know and love plus we can add HHH in a power struggle triangle. A 3 way for dominance? An Eiffel Tower of supremacy? There really is no way to say that without being pervy, is there?

I don’t know what the Wyatts have up their sleeve but we might see the return of the inferno match at Summer Slam so color me invested.

Dolph is steadily building himself as a face version of the character he’s always portrayed which is something I admire because it comes across a lot more organic. The impressive thing about this that I believe WWE is starting to see is the fact that the audience’s interest in him has carried over now that he’s no longer in the title picture. Kinda like how WWE was forced to recognize how incredibly over Daniel Bryan was even when he had no championship around his waist.

Ricardo is back and apparently being distanced from Del Rio so now I believe Del Rio can finally cement himself in serious heel territory. Hopefully the byproduct of this is that we see the beginning of Ricardo’s in-ring career on the main show, something I’ve been clamoring for since I watched his old FCW matches on youtube.

Sheamus wasn’t on Raw this past week, nobody mentioned his name and there wasn’t even another 1-800 Fella commercial. Everybody wins.

We still have an interesting Divas championship scenario going on. It’s starting to feel like it’s being stretched out for a little too long but that’s one less Bellas match so let us count our blessings. Now we have the weird Layla heel turn. I say weird because it feels like WWE is doing this odd thing where they realize something is working between two Divas and decide to throw as many Divas into this one thing as they can. When was the last time we saw a Diva storyline that didn’t involve the rest of the Divas locker room split between faces and heels?

Mark Henry still hasn’t regressed into his horrible work from a few years ago. We know he’s happy about that.

My only real complaint is that Cesaro is stuck in a horrible gimmick. In his short time on the main stage, we’ve seen Cesaro get saddled with 4 really horrid gimmicks and yet still win over a lot of people with his ring work. My true hope is that he isn’t stuck in the tag team division with Swagger for too long. Getting paired with Swagger is a gateway drug into meaningless tag teams.

But if that’s all I have to really complain about then they’ve gotta be doing something right, yes?

Wrestling sure is fun.

This week on Total Divas:
Eva Marie lies about being able to dance. Fandango goes into full “let’s get weird” mode at the club. Cena and Nikki Bella try to rope Brie into being just as miserable as they are. Daniel Bryan doggy-paddles. I’ll never be able to look at cookies the same way again. You’re welcome.

You remember that time I said to be on the lookout for last week’s Classy Ring Attire with special guest Chasity Taylor? Yeah that didn’t happen last week. BUT we did record the episode last night and will be hitting your eardrums soon and you shall rejoice because she’s a delightful human. Be on the lookout for that and follow us on Twitter @CRAttire

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: For the record, I haven’t seen Sharknado. I’d rather rewatch Synecdoche, New York with Charlie Kaufman periodically slapping me with a fish.

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