So… are you a real wrestling fan? Or are you a casual viewer who likes looking at too much lycra? Well, what are you? Take this simple quiz to find out!
(1) You see a person laying on the ground, probably not breathing. You:
(a) administer life-saving first aid;
(b) give them mouth-to-mouth, but as you’re doing it lock in a cravat neck hold;
(c) hook their leg and lean on them for the three-count, then jump up with both arms in the air.
(2) You see the initials WWF and the first thing you think is:
(a) save the animals;
(b) they sure wasted a lot of money getting those initials from Vince McMahon;
(c) you should go out and kill a panda in revenge for all the pixilation on nearly every DVD you own.
(3) You hear the word ‘Hulk’ and you first think:
(a) about the old ships used in eighteenth century England to house criminals;
(b) about a man who grows big and green, and whose pants grow with him;
(c) about an allegedly balding orange man with a white moustache ripping his t-shirt off.
(4) You see a person accidentally break a table. You:
(a) check the Ikea catalogue for a replacement;
(b) chuckle remembering some of the tables matches you’ve seen;
(c) chant, “E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!” while pointing your finger at the wreckage with each syllable.
(5) You hear the music ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’ and the first thing you think of is:
(a) a book by Nietzsche;
(b) the film 2001: A Space Odyssey;
(c) Ric Flair entering the arena in one of those spangly, Liberace-esque robes.
(6) You find a folding chair in the backyard, so you:
(a) put it away where it belongs;
(b) pick it up and give it a few swings, just to feel its weight;
(c) turn around and belt it over your mother’s back, chuck it away before your father sees it, and then act all innocent.
(7) Whenever some-one mentions Canada, you think of:
(a) beavers, maple syrup and snow;
(b) ice hockey, Mounties, and Montreal or Calgary;
(c) the Hart family, Lance Storm and Iron Mike Sharpe.
(8) Greatest sportsman of all time? That’s easy, you say, it’s:
(a) Usain Bolt;
(b) Muhammad Ali;
(c) Ric Flair.
(9) You’re invited to a semi-formal function, so you wear:
(a) a shirt and tie, decent slacks and shiny shoes;
(b) a shirt with a collar and good pants, but a t-shirt and shorts underneath… oh, and sneakers/trainers;
(c) a torn, stained formerly white shirt, a dark tie half undone, ill-fitting brown pants, boots and a mask that covers half your face.
(10) You think a woman is not considered sexy unless she’s wearing:
(a) anything. It doesn’t matter; sexiness can be seen in anything;
(b) lingerie or nothing;
(c) spandex and boots.
(11) Which actor has been most cruelly over-looked come awards time?
(a) Liam Neeson;
(b) Dwayne Johnson;
(c) Hulk Hogan.
So, how’d you go?Score
1 point for every (a) answer,
2 points for every (b) answer, and
3 for every (c) answer.
Scores:
11: Are you sure you’re reading the right website here?
11-16: You’ve watched some pro wrestling, but it’s just another part of the myriad world of pop culture that seems to have mostly passed you by. That’s okay. You’re not alone.
17-22: You’re a fan. You’ve seen a bit of the TV, a few PPVs, and you won’t object to wrestling being on. It’s just there. Oh, and you probably miss the glory days of George ‘The Animal’ Steele.
23-28: You’re quite the fan. You watch the TV shows, most PPVs and know who most of the wrestlers are. Well done. Enjoy your viewing habits.
29-32: This might be considered a wee bit obsessive. But we’re sure you’ll never regret the “nWo 4 Life” tattoo on your arse.
33: Ah. Oh. Yes. My goodness. I’ll just move away slowly, maintain eye contact and I’m sure I’ll get out of here alive.
How’d you do?
Sound off in the comments below!
