A Random Number Of Thoughts – TNA One Night Stand: Knockouts Knockdown [Sep 6, 2013]

Pre-recorded from Orlando!

 

The latest in the series of One Night Stand PPVs. To keep you up to speed, this how I’ve seen them so far (average scores for the matches):
X-Travaganza [April 5] 6.6/10 (yeah, unpublished, doesn’t matter)
Jokers Wild [May 3] 6.2/10
Hardcore Justice 2 [July 5] 5.7/10
Reunion 10 [August 2] 6.4/10

 

1) Nice opening video montage, and excellent choice to start by highlighting the Gail-Taryn match. But ‘Brooke Hogan presents’? Ha!

 

2) The idea is a series of Knockouts matches are held, the winners go into a battle royal, the final two in that then wrestle a normal match. Fine. Not bad. A tournament style show.

 

3) We start with all the women coming into the ring and Taz is already annoying me on commentary.

 

4) Poor Brooke. She looks too much like her father. Her explanation of the tournament was short and she didn’t outstay her welcome. I can live with that.

 

5) We start with highlights of the first ever Knockouts title match – Roxxi Le Roux v Gail Kim. That was a good match from memory. And that is a nice use of the history of TNA. (I still miss the 6-sided ring.) (Kim won, for those who came in late.)

 

6) SoCalVal with Gail Kim. Madison Rayne interrupts and it’s a badly acted love-in.

 

7) Match 1: Gail Kim v Alyssa Flash (with nice video). Ooh, good way to start. Flash is one of the most under-rated wrestlers.

 

8) Starts off slow and basic, but soon picks up as they go outside. Then slows down again. This is lacking something. The skills are good (some nice submissions holds), but the flow of the match feels off. Still, there were no botches at all, and the moves were clean and the hits hard.

 

9) Kim wins with eat-da-feet. 7/10

 

10) They use the Gutcheck videos to introduce the next two women.

 

11) Match 2: Ivelisse Velez v Lei’D Tapa. Tapa is Barbarian’s niece. Another Samoan! Are they all into mindless violence? Mind you, I’ve seen them play rugby and, yeah, they all seem to be like that.

 

12) Little sloppy, but the hits were all good ones and the match looked brutal (in a good way). Not technically perfect, but actually looked a little passionate. The crowd didn’t seem to like it that much, but I did.

 

13) Too much screaming.

 

14) Tapa turns a guillotine submission hold into a sidewalk slam for the win. 6.5/10

 

15) Video recap of Tara winning the title in 2012, and the introduction of Jesse whatever-his-name-is/was. Awkward interview with Tara and Jesse talking to Borash follows.

 

16) Match 3: Tara v Mia Yim. I don’t know who Yim is, but one of my friends tells me she’s doing well in Shine.

 

17) Taz’s commentary goes to an extreme of obnoxiousness as he ignores the match and just makes fun of Mia’s name.

 

18) Again, not a bad match. Yim hits a nice drop kick and Tara sells it brilliantly. Tara’s trash talk is also nice (“Go back to the indies!”) and the crowd is into this one.

 

19) Jesse interferes. Why? On a one-shot deal like this… why?

 

20) Yim missed a twisting moonsault due to Jesse-ference, allowing Tara to hit the widow’s peak for the win. 6.5/10

 

21) Looong promo for the Knockouts website.

 

22) Quick video recap of Miss Tessmacher winning the TNA title.

 

23) Match 4: Miss Tessmacher v Santana. Santana’s Santana rip-off music is lame. The same friend as before tells me she is also known in Shine. I watch Shimmer, he watches Shine, between us we might know something about US female wrestlers.

 

24) Back-and-forth match here, showcasing not only the TNA veteran, but allowing the youngster to get some good shots in.

 

25) Too short! I was getting into this one… even if the crowd is dead through most of it.

 

26) I find Tessmacher hit or miss, and she has a habit of phoning in her matches, but not tonight.

 

27) Sort of released face-buster by Tessmacher to win. 6.5/10

 

28) ODB delivers a decent promo.

 

29) We recap ODB’s wedding. Oh. God. Eric Young in suit and glasses looked like one of my university lecturers. Psych, I think. Of all the things to recap, why this?

 

30) AUGH! They showed the entire thing! On PPV! Quarter of an hour of this and they made people pay money for it! How about giving the girls some more time in the ring and show us highlights of the wedding if it even needs to be mentioned? Crapcrapcrap…

 

31) Match 5: ODB v Trinity. There’s a name from the past.

 

32) Bit of ring rust from Trinity. Bit of sloppiness from ODB. This match is doing nothing for me.

 

33) The Bam (cutter) wins it for ODB. 5.5/10

 

34) Recap of Taryn Terrell’s history in TNA, especially that awesome Slammiversary XI match against Kim.

 

35) Match 6: Taryn Terrell v Jackie Moore. Another blast from the past, but this should be good. I believe Moore was the first woman to be featured in PWI’s 500, but feel free to correct me on that one.

 

36) Basic match set-up, but the first with decent flow and a story told in the ring: the veteran (Moore) treating the newer wrestler (Terrell) with disdain and a lack of respect until Terrell exploded.

 

37) Terrell missed the top rope bulldog attempt so Moore huts her right in the face with a dropkick for the win. Too short. I wanted more of this one. 7/10

 

38) Hulk Hogan on a Knockouts PPV? Sure, why not. It’s a commercial for that Bootcamp show from the UK, which is apparently the home of the best talent in the world. I think Japan for one would disagree.

 

39) Hannah Blossom delivers a nice interview with JB. So odd to hear a British accent in a US wrestling show. We need more of this international flavour.

 

40) Match 7: 3-way: Hannah Blossom v Taeler Hendrix v Sojo Bolt. Blossom is from the UK Bootcamp show. Looks cute, let’s see what she’s got in the ring.

 

41) Hendrix and Bolt work together on Blossom, argue about who gets the pin, then fight and it breaks down into a series on one-on-one match-ups. Cliché #671.

 

42) Hendrix and Blossom both have some nice moves. Bolt looks a step slower.

 

43) Miscommunication sees Hendrix forearm Bolt into next week, Blossom hits a Yakuza kick on Hendrix to get the pin. 6.5/10

 

44) Video of the Knockouts looking sexy and taking some nasty bumps. You watch this and know WWE could never hope to put together a video package like that with their current crop of Divas.

 

45) Match 8: Velvet Sky v Jillian Hall. And Hall is still doing the awful singer gimmick. That kills the crowd right off the bat.

 

46) Well, so far everything had been in the middle with one match a bit lacklustre. It’s like a whole series of TV matches, for all intents and purposes. But this match has changed all of that. This was terrible. I’ve never been the biggest Velvet Sky fan, but with the right opponent, she can still have a good match. Well, Hall is not the right opponent. I think she might even be an anti-opponent. Terrible match.

 

47) Velvet Sky wins with the In Yo Face (sit-out Pedigree). 3.5/10

 

48) They show the entire 1 minute Mickie James defeating Madison Rayne cage match, where James had a separated shoulder and still won the title. Brutal one minute, but what a squash.

 

49) Match 9: Serena Deeb (though just Serena here) v Mickie James. Serena’s been back in Shimmer after her WWE stint, and she’s looked really good there.

 

50) They do a hug of mutual respect before the start of the match.

 

51) Well, after the Hall-Sky fiasco, this one may have looked better than it actually was, but damn this was a fine match.

 

52) I turned down the volume in this match. I just wanted to punch Taz in the face so hard. So if I missed anything exciting, wonderful or amazingly insightful he might have said during the course of this outing, I apologise. I doubt I did miss anything, but I apologise anyway.

 

53) Mickie James bridging with Serena’s full weight on her was an impressive show of core strength. Very impressive.

 

54) Serena finally stops the mutual respect thing and cheap shots James to take over. And the match manages to lift up a notch.

 

55) James wins with the screaming DDT. Yep. Good match. 8/10

 

56) Recap of the matches tonight. Taz – shut the F**K up!

 

57) Match 10: The Gauntlet. Let’s see how this goes, with all of the women having already had matches, some of them quite stiff. The rules are if the feet touch the floor then the person is eliminated. No over-the-top rope.

 

58) Hannah Blossom draws number 1, and Gail Kim draws number 2. Gail jumps starts the match. Blossom eliminated by Kim. Lei’D Tapa is number 3. Tapa shows some good strength. Tara is number 4. Double team on Tapa. Mickie James is number 5. They all gang up on Tapa and she does an Andre the Giant push off. James almost touched, Tapa eliminated by all 3. No, I am damn sure James touched there, but she wasn’t supposed to, so it was ignored. That looked like a huge botch.

 

59) Number 6 is Miss Tessmacher. Tessmacher tries to rip Tara’s head off. James and Kim pair off. Oh. One of those gauntlets. Jackie Moore is number 7. It’s slowed down. Number 8 is ODB. Starting to pick up a bit now. ODB eliminates Jackie as Velvet Sky comes in as number 9. Now it’s elimination rules until we get down to the final two.

 

60) Nice save by ODB and Velvet. On the apron they chop and kick each other until ODB is gone at Velvet’s hands. Kim eliminates Velvet. Tara eliminates Tessmacher. Three left. James eliminates Tara. Final two, so a ref comes in and this is now a normal match.

 

61) These two proceed to put on a decent match for all of a minute until Kim “hurts” her ankle. Everyone acts all concerned, a trainer comes out (“Really, Gail? Really?” comes from the crowd) and James apologises, then Kim rolls her up for the win. I HATE that finish with a passion. It’s worked once (Eddie v Angle) and every other time it’s come across as contrived and lame. 6/10 for the whole thing.

 

62) Gail Kim is now Queen of the Knockouts. Madison Rayne comes out to present the crown and Kim sends her out of the ring once she has the tiara. So much for the love-in at the start of the show.

 

63) Final tally: 6.3/10, placing it right in the middle of the One Night Only PPVs.

 

So, there you are. Catch the James/Serena match, maybe a few of the others, but it was nothing special. Another average one. But I guess for the money paid in the US for this it was probably not a bad buy.

 

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