More TNA News and General Snarkiness


More News from the exciting world of the trainwreck that is TNA!



On October 30 The Chicago Tribune online posted a story about former women’s champion Tara/Victoria/Lisa Marie Varon and her restaurant. Apparently it is going to be the subject of a reality television show produced by a company that currently does a show about a pawn shop, and that pawn show is produced by one Eric Bischoff.


Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it will be a hell of a lot less annoying than that stupid WWE Divas show. But if they can combine the two shows and have Eric Bischoff pawning off his wrestling memorabilia which T/V/LMV then buys to decorate the restaurant, and then Bischoff goes all OJ Simspon and tries to steal it back… ratings gold, my friends; ratings gold.



According to the Lucky 13 promotions website Roxxi/Nikki Roxx will be retiring from wrestling at their December show. Shame that another talented female wrestler is leaving the squared circle, leaving us fans with the Bellas, the Funkadactyls, and Layla. Goody. (Of course, some writers here at Pulse have probably just required a change of undies at my even mentioning those names, but to each his or her own.)



TNA’s roster page is now lacking one Hulk Hogan and one AJ Styles. One is gone because of contract issues, one because of kayfabe reasons. I will leave it as an exercise for the readers to decide which is which.



Further, AJ Styles will be defending the TNA title he doesn’t have against Judas Mesias at a AAA event, according to PWInsider .


Funny, that news actually doesn’t fill me with much of anything. First, I find Mesias mediocre at best, and second, this makes no sense with whatever the hell storyline they are trying to go with here! By even calling it the TNA title he’s defending makes it seem legitimate, which it shouldn’t seem, because AJ’s apparently not with the company any longer! If anything, he should be saying he’s defending something else. What, I don’t know, but TNA have to give permission for their name to be used – and everyone knows that – so they should put a halt to it, but they’re not, because this story has become stupid.



And speaking of stupid, Rampage Jackson has thrown away potentially billions of dollars by ignoring Bully Ray’s offer of a fight to instead take on some scrub named Joey Beltran. A 14-9 record? Bet his calves don’t look like Bully’s either. Anyway, that’s the message from the Bellator website so you know it’s probably a swerve anyway.



A few places are reporting the crowd size for the Salt Lake City Impact tapings as either 1200, 1500 (this seems to be the most common view) or 1700 people. Oh, uh, yeah, what? When Zero-1 in Adelaide, South Australia held their last show, they drew more than that! Yes, a local indy fed with ties to a Japanese fed drew a bigger crowd in a city that barely knows about them than an internationally syndicated wrestling show!


But that’s okay, because things are going well in Dixieland.



Wrestling Inc also read the Observer so I don’t have to and came up with the buys for Bound For Glory. 3000 fans in attendance for 2622 paid. Oh, but it gets better, because the PPV did 17,000 buys. Hell, even JCP’s Starrcade 1987, which Vince tried to kill with the first Survivor Series and his threats of withholding Wrestlemania from anyone who broadcast Starrcade, did 20,000, and that was back in 1987 when the technology was in its infancy, but JCP still pulled a live gate around the 8000 mark.


But everything’s still rosy in TNA!



AND finally, according the Wrestlezone (who I think stole it from The Wrestling Observer, but I still ain’t paying money to get wrestling gossip), now that Eric Bischoff is pawning shit and working from home (and I quote):


“…the bulk of TNA’s writing will be handled by Matt Conway and Dave Lagana. John Gaburick and Jeff Jarrett will reportedly be handling the overall creative direction of TNA’s product, with Jarrett having a lot more input as of late.”


Yay! More Jarrett! Just like the heady days of Jarrett headlining every single TNA thing with his boring offense, boring character and his stupid fucking guitar! Back to the future, TNA!



Abuse may be left for me at the bottom of the screen. If anyone wants me, I’m on the other side of the world.



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