The View From Down Here – Fare Thee Well

I don’t think I can do this anymore.

 

 

After 6 years of writing for Pulse – 4 of those years in the wrestling section – I can’t do it anymore.

 

I can’t struggle through television shows that are just not fun any more.

 

I can’t justify paying for PPVs that even my 8 year old son can’t sit through.

 

I can’t handle seeing talented athletes used in ways that belittle all they can offer.

 

I can’t handle seeing people promoted beyond their ability, while those with ability are left to fester in the under ranks.

 

I am sick of storylines that don’t lead to satisfying conclusions, or if they do have the conclusion people want as consumers, it’s done in such a way as to still leave people annoyed.

 

I am sick of style over substance.

 

I am sick of wrestling writing on television that insults the intelligence of even children under the age of ten.

 

I am sick of the same over-hyped and over-exposed wrestlers being constantly shoved down our throats.

 

I am bored with the stylistically similar matches being forced down our throats as well.

 

I am sick of watching the so-called elite of the sport botch move after move.

 

I am sick of the fans of wrestling taking it so seriously that it leads to threats of violence and ridiculous wars of words.

 

I am sick of opinions being treated as facts by the denizens of the internet wrestling community/fandom.

 

I am annoyed that I get more enjoyment out of wrestling shows 10, 15, 20 years old than the modern product.

 

 

I am sick and tired of wrestling.

 

 

This is going to come as a surprise to even the bosses here at Inside Pulse, but I need to get out, for the sake of my sanity. We’ll call this a break. It might be for a month, two months, a year. I don’t know. I need to get my enthusiasm back, to get my love for the sport I have grown up watching back. Because, simply put, I just can’t do this any longer.

 

I know I won’t be missed. I’m just one of the thousands of voices, voices that all get lost in the maelstrom of online ‘thought’. My columns get very few hits (and hence readers), partly because I tend not to write about things happening in the here and now (which the ADHD-like modern Internet reader demands of their written consumables), partly because I write columns that are quite long and (again) that collective ADHD of the masses can’t handle it, and partly because I like to think I write in a style that is at least a little intellectual, which I have gathered by looking at other wrestling sites is something many (though not the regulars here at Pulse) struggle with when it comes to this pseudo-sport.

 

Having saud that, I might well miss writing for this place, though.

 

And if that happens to be the case, the odd column might appear from me from time to time. There might even one day be a Monday when I’ll be back and just continue on as if nothing has happened.

 

So what’s happened? Why the sudden quitting when wrestling’s been crap for a long time? Part of it, I know, is that fact that I can’t wrestle any longer. When I had that outlet, I knew what I saw on television would be something I could overcome by going to a local indy show. But because I can’t get in the ring (be it through politics or injury – both are factors in my case) when I go to a show I feel like I should be out there (I was certainly better than a number of locals I see in the squared circle) and I just can’t enjoy it.

 

Part of it is also the fact that October was such a shitty month for wrestling. Three PPVs, all of them shit. TV shows that just rubbed our noses in the shit. And I can’t see it getting any better in the short term. Or the medium term for that matter. And I doubt the long term is going to provide any relief. I cannot for the life of me see a light at the end of the tunnel. October was really the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 

And part of it is that I am over 40 years old with a young family and my third career is now starting to really take off. For those who don’t know, I am now a writer by trade. Horror predominantly, as well as fantasy, science fiction, humour and even some poetry – it all pads my CV. If you are interested, I can be found at http://stevengepp.wordpress.com and then you can even help support a struggling “artist” (term used in its loosest possible sense).

 

For those who enjoy wrestling –good on you. I hope it continues to give you what you need.

 

For those who don’t – there’s other things out there. There really is. Get out from behind your computer and go watch something else. In fact, here’s something – try parkour. Trust me – it’s awesome. We were doing a basic form of it in the 1980s, but what they do now is just beyond anything I could ever hope to have done.

 

And finally, as this is my last column for a while, I’m going to get some things off my chest.

 

– It’s only wrestling! For fuck’s sake stop arguing over it like it means something!

 

– If I had my own wrestling company and unlimited funds, the only wrestlers I would use from WWE and TNA are: (singles) Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Kazarian, Samoa Joe, Magnus, Austin Aries, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Dean Ambrose, Antonio Cesaro, Sami Zayn; (tag teams) Bobby Roode & James Storm, the Usos, the Rhodes family, the Shield; (females) Gail Kim, Natalya. I would also consider Chris Sabin if I could reform MCMG, Curtis Axel (and I would use him as Joe Hennig, grandson of Larry), and maybe AJ Lee at a push. Daniels and Kazarian could be a tag team as well. But that’s 25 out of two entire rosters. Everyone else I would use would be from the indys.

 

– The best female wrestler is still Savannah Summers. Now she has gone to the USA and has come back with some very positive reviews, I hope she can go that next step.

 

– The best wrestler in the indys is Elliot Sexton. If Matt Silva can make it into WWE developmental, then Sexton should be on NXT now, or headlining TNA.

 

– The authority figure storyline has beaten into the dirt. Both WWE and TNA are doing it, the indys do it, hell even RCW here in Adelaide is doing it. Enough! Nothing good ever comes of it, the authority figure ends up still in authority, and even if the good guy wins, it will involve them putting aside all his past with the authority figure in order to keep functioning in that wrestling promotion. It makes no sense, it’s never new or innovative, and it’s boring as all bat-shit.

 

– HHH sucks. Ken Anderson/Kennedy sucks. Randy Orton sucks.

 

– The Undertaker was never a great worker, his Wrestlemania matches are all over-rated, and his character is one that defies all logic. He started as a fucking zombie-lite type of creature, for God’s sake! And he’s still got that aura about him. He’s an average at best wrestler whose best matches involved him being carried by far superior workers, who has gained this mystique because fan-boys cream over a 6 and a half foot tall guy who can walk on the ropes if some-one holds his hand. And I don’t care what you say, you’re never going to change my mind. He sucks. I’ve enjoyed some of his matches, but they were all made by his opponents. ALL of them.

 

– John Cena is just Hulk Hogan for the 21st century. Pathetic, predictable, boring and marketed to kids. To rely on him constantly shows a marked lack of imagination and a hell of a lot of desperation on the part of WWE.

 

– I reckon TNA will be dead by the end of next year, WWE will buy it up, it will be a mercy killing, and it will make WWE even more staid, boring, predictable and unwatchable. Wrestling will suffer. Well, suffer even more than it already is.

– I recently put together a mix-tape type of thing of my favourite wrestling matches that I own on DVD and video. 20 matches. 7 from the 1980s, 8 from the 1990s, 4 from 2000-2005… and only 1 post-2005 and that was from Riot City Wrestling (and was also the only women’s match on the tape). That means that in the past 10 years not one televised match has excited me enough to move it into my top 20. NOT ONE. Wrestling has sucked for a long time.

 

– Match of the year this year is Sami Zayn v Antonio Cesaro, 2 out of 3 falls match, WWE NXT. Simple.

 

AND FINALLY.

 

The following match is better, more realistic and has better selling than 75% of anything WWE or TNA have put out on TV this year, and is better than anything Ethan Carter III could ever hope to pull out of his over-hyped arse.

 

 

I mean Palin vs the lion. Though the Penguin scene is still better than a EC3, Ken Anderson or Sheamus match as well.

 

Does this seem like I’m bitter? Well, it should, because I am. From the day I first saw a wrestling match in 1980, from my first live show in 1982, from my debut in 1988, I have enjoyed professional wrestling. But that enjoyment has been ripped away from me by a crappy product and a public that don’t give a shit. Well, I give a shit. And that’s why I have to walk away.

 

 

So, don’t agree with something I’ve written here?

 

Bad luck. I am now beyond caring. Leave messages, I’ll probably respond, or I’ll act like a troll (I’ve been doing that a bit lately, but in a battle of wits online I feel like I’m fighting unarmed men). I may still respond to occasional posts here. Not even sure if I’ll do the Roundtables as I’m not on Facebook at the moment either, so apparently that means I can’t be contacted, and, besides, I won’t know what’s going on anyway.

 

Whatever it is, adieu. It’s been a fun-filled ride. I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve offered. I’ve tried to be different – even unique – in what I’ve presented.

 

Hopefully I’ll be back. If you want me, I’ll be on the other side of the world.

 

Fare thee well.

 

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