THE RAGER! Try To Survive This (John Cena, Big Show, Wyatt Family)

I’m glad Survivor Series is this Sunday because that means I don’t really have to focus on how bad this week’s Raw was. I mean, I technically already did but who’s counting?

Kick-Off Match
Kofi Kingston vs Miz
I have a feeling that WWE turned Miz heel on a whim practically only for this match. I should be angered by that but they also seemingly turned Miz face a year on a whim too. Being a heel worked for Miz for a brief window of time before Wrestlemania 27 so I guess technically that means he’s had more success as a heel. I’ve finally accepted the fact that Kofi will forever be regulated for the mid-card and I’m no longer spending of my well-earned hope on him being given a chance on the top card. Nothing in particular suddenly triggered this for me but rather a slow, gradual realization over the past couple years. Perhaps you’re in that same process as I or have already reached that point. Either way, I hold absolutely nothing towards this match. I’m more interested if anyone on the panel will mention that this is Bret Hart’s first Suviver Series since the screwjob.

7-on-7 Divas Elimination Tag Match
Total Divas vs Everybody Else
So this is what they were doing rather than developing a decent storyline that’ll lead to an actual title match? I’m trying not to harp on the musical chairs segment because I feel that stupidity can speak for itself but that would’ve been a perfect time to actually do something that’ll build towards something other than pimping out some lame country act’s single. Also, I like Kaitlyn, I’ve admitted that in the past. It frustrates me to see her be an afterthought in a match like this after she had one of the better Divas programs in recent memory against AJ not that long ago. I would suggest to WWE to be a little bit more subtle in their promoting of Total Divas but then again, WWE has never really excelled (or attempted, for that matter) at the subtle game, have they?

5-on-5 Elimination Tag Match
CoDust, Usos, & Rey Mysterio vs The Real Americans & The Shield
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! Sorry, I couldn’t help but let that slip out. The truth is that WWE ran the football 99 yards with the end of Raw last week to build a 6-on-6 elimination tag match and then tripped at the one yard line, got turned around and ran the opposite direction, got into their own endzone, fumbled and stood there as the opposing team recovered for a touchdown. I don’t really have anything against this match in particular and I understand WWE needed more matches to fill the card but they didn’t have to sacrifice a great thing to do so. Take out Real Americans and put them in a tag match against Rey Mysterio and Tyson Kidd. Does the match make sense? No but neither does inserting the Real Americans into the match they’ve got in the card currently. At least in my scenario, you Rey’s fun return to make all the kiddies happy and Zeb gets a new group of non-Americans to complain about. Plus Kidd gets on the card and that’s always a win for me, even if he would be teamed up with masked garbage (my hatred for Mysterio knows no limits).

A Regular-Ass Boring Tag Team Match
CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs The Wyatt Family (minus the important member)
This is what we took Bryan and Punk out of the main scene for? Please somebody give me some dirt sheet rumor where something else was planned but had to be scrapped for whatever reason, I’ll take anything at this point. Is this about Bray’s sprained ankle from two months ago? Because he seemed fine on Raw this past week. And I have nothing against Eric Rowan and Luke Harper but they’re the guys that we’ve seen Punk and Bryan fight on free television for the past month so what would make WWE think we would pay for something we’ve already seen for free? Maybe that’s the point that’s really starting to eat at me about this whole thing. Last week, I became optimistic that Daniel Bryan will return to the WWE title picture very soon after this feud, and I still believe that, but what is going on here? Has there been no other explanation since the “devil made me do it” spots? The lone hope I have left in all of this is that Bray will get involved and we’ll get an insight to who this “devil” is and it’ll lead to something bigger and better at TLC. Also, I’m assuming the riff between the Wyatts and Shield won’t be going away anytime soon and perhaps that’ll play into it somehow.

I feel better now that I got that out of my system.

World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena(c) vs Alberto Del Rio
Just end this so we can move on. I like Del Rio in the ring but going against Cena isn’t doing him any favors here. I think anything involving Cena is going to have a bad taste in my mouth for the time being. I don’t think enough time has passed for the wounds to heal from watching him beat Sandow with one arm.

WWE Championship Match
Randy Orton(c) vs Big Show
Yes, this is probably the most interesting thing Big Show has done in a while but that still doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to this match. The match seems like an obligatory formality of the storyline from the past few months. I’m expecting something screwy to happen that’ll lead to another match at TLC and then it’s onto to someone else.

As much as I hate to say it, this really feels like a “grit your teeth and bare it” type of PPV which is sad considering it’s one of the big four. Just keep reminding yourself how great Summerslam was and it’ll all be over before you know it.

I would like to tag onto something Matt Harrak brought up this past weekend. This is the second year that I’ve been a part of Movember and on a team with Harrak and believe me when I say it’s a great organization and an even better cause.
It’s a cause that also hits very close to home for me and my family. My dad has been battling cancer for 4 years now and has just recently finished his 4th different round of treatment. He’s an incredibly strong man and continues to fight regardless of whatever obstacle meets him. He’s now faced with a situation where he might have to be part of a new treatment study and research; the type of research that gets funded and supported by donations made through organizations like Movember. We all know of stories similar or worse to what my family is going through and with generous donations the people whom these stories belong to can be helped with life-saving research and other means of support. My family has been on the receiving end of so much kindness and generosity over the past few years and I’ve felt that it’s my duty and privilege to try to do the same for others and encourage as many people as I can to join me.

So if you would like to get involved and donate for a great cause, then simply click here to visit our team page and click on the “donate to team” button underneath the big mustached “WF” logo. Even if you’re unable donate, passing the word along to others is just as helpful. A thousand huzzahs!

Don’t do anything twice,
Chris

The Answer: Tried to type “paradox” on my phone but instead accidentally typed “paradix.” Might be the title of my next twitter literary porn epic…

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