Penny Candy: Sisterly Science Dinner Threatre 2013

Skipped Friday because I chipped in on the Roundtable and had this planned. Watched SS with one of my beloved Internet galpals Paige. (Not the NXT Paige, though that IS my Paige’s favorite.) When we watch Raw/Smackdown/PPV’s together via Facebook, we MST3K the f*ck out of them. Thought this week I’d share.

We join Paige as the PPV itself is beginning, as she has watched the pre-show and I didn’t.

—————————————————————————————

  • Paige Kimber

    lol

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Back

  • Paige Kimber

    Kofi heel turn maybe

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Oh?

    What’d I miss?
  • Paige Kimber

    Miz and Kofi shook hands at the beginning of the match

    at the end after Miz got the pin, he went back to shake his hand again saying good match, and Kofi slapped the shit out of him
     (PPV Proper begins with Trips and Steph coming out, and for some inexplicable reason acting like faces)
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Wheee! Another fucking PPV opened with a HHH promo!

  • Paige Kimber

    shoot me now

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Gee they sure know their audience!

    *gags*
  • Paige Kimber

    to be fair, it’ll get them heat lol

    bad heat, but still heat
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    This does not bode well for the remainder of the evening.

  • Paige Kimber

    so are they faces or heels?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    They’re annoying.

  • Paige Kimber

    I mean that wasn’t a heel promo, last week they had the heel GMs against other heels

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    You’re asking me to care enough about Steph and Trips to put actual thought into answering that.

  • Paige Kimber

    I’m just saying, that is why this show has been so bad

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    But here goes; They’re idiots and they don’t understand “Consistency of character”.

    Only at the opening fireworks and I’m already bored to death with this show.
  • Paige Kimber

    first match should be fun

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Rey’s team wins here. Foregone conclusion.

    (In my defense, NONE of us on the Roundtable got it right, though given the recent “Damn he’s a monster badass” push they’re giving Reigns we probably all SHOULD have seen it)

    CoDust and the Usos are all mid push, and Rey JUST came back
  • Paige Kimber

    I just really enjoy watching Dustin wrestle

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Everyone should because he is GAWD.

  • Paige Kimber

    for his age he is

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    When I Loose, y’all say HO!

    LOOSE!
  • Paige Kimber

    lol

    even JBL isn’t freaking consistent
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Was he ever?

  • Paige Kimber

    well, he was when he wrestled, he was consistently a heel or face, and what the fuck is ricardo doing out there?

     WE THE PEOPLE!
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    WE THE SHEEPLE!

     (Zeb mocks twerking and gets a face pop)

    Oh gawd, Zeb had a GOOD point.

  • Paige Kimber

    ROFLROFLROFL

    Zeb Twerking!
    and Cody Twerking!
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    They’re going to turn him face if they keep giving him lines like THAT.

  • Paige Kimber

    last one to survive on each team?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Iunno.

  • Paige Kimber

    Reigns for Shield, Cody for CoDust

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Well Reigns is getting a “Big honking badass” push out of nowhere so

  • Paige Kimber

    he’s going to be the “face” of the shield when they break apart

    gold dust doesn’t have a future with the company, only a present, the Usos are just there
    Cody has a chance to go somewhere in the future, although he looks like someone from a gay porn
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    “struth

  • Paige Kimber

    my feed died

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Mine’s still going

     

  • Paige Kimber

    it was jerking so I tried to goto the other one

    its up again, what’d I miss?
  • Paige Kimber

    take it ceasaro got pinned?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Oh was I supposed to pay attention?

  • Paige Kimber

    ok, Rey will be the last lol

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Yep.

  • Paige Kimber

    (Rollins takes out an Uso with that sick-looking kick the head down and stomp on it jumpy thing)

    curb stomp lol

    Rollins has the facial hair advantage
    yep, Reigns
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Did he just say what I think he said?

  • Paige Kimber

    yep

    you came back for this just to get dogged out lol
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    No, JOBBED

    He said JOBBED
  • Paige Kimber

    I thought he said dogged

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    He broke Kayfabe IN RING on LIVE TV

    No he clearly said “Jobbed out”.
  • Paige Kimber

    its close enough that it could have been either, and dogged makes more sense, but the two oldest people are the last people standing

     (Reigns busts out a brutal spear)

    god that spear looks good

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Good? It’s looks BRUTAL.

  • Paige Kimber

    whoa

    that’s what I mean, the last spear I saw like that was Edge
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    (Reigns wins the match pinning ReyRey in brutal fashion, thus cementing his “Unstoppable Badass Monster” push.)

    Well, EVERYONE on the Pulse guessed this one wrong.

  • Paige Kimber

    he looks too much like his cousins

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    He has his dad’s face. Thankfully not his body.

  • Paige Kimber

    no, he has a good body, but he has a face that looks like Jimmy and Jay too, man that spear looks awesome

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Shoulda seen this coming.

  • Paige Kimber

    I had an inkling

    it will fuel the shield breakup, Ambrose will say he’s the champion, Reigns will say he’s the sole survivor

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    And yep, that’ll definitely add to it.

    Biggie and IMPerfect come out for their “Just get it over with already so Joe can go back to NXT” match)

    New theme for Biggie?
  • Paige Kimber

    no, usual one

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Must’ve been distorted by crowd noise

     It sounds different.
  • Paige Kimber

    its got a bit of echo in that arena

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    (Cole momentarily changes the subject before the bell rings to inform us that the WWE sends it

    Oh dear, Dynamite’s gonna die.

  • Paige Kimber

    they keep saying the intercontinental championship is so important, but the history is bullshit, the big gold belt is the intercontinental title now

    “god given ability that someone gave to big E”
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    LOL

    Zeus!
  • Paige Kimber

    I heard a funny joke

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Oh?

  • Paige Kimber

    you know they are trying to release a WWE network right?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Key word; TRYING.

  • Paige Kimber

    imagine a night time talkshow with 2 hosts…

     Zeus and Rybak
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    ….

    >.<

    *slaps you*
  • Paige Kimber

    that’d be AWESOME

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    NEVER TYPE THAT SHIT OUT LOUD!

    WWE might see it and actually DO it!
  • Paige Kimber

    oh it’d be so awesome

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Awesome in a “so horrible it’s unintentionally funny” way.

  • Paige Kimber

    exactly

     (Biggie wins after a boring match that just couldn’t keep our attention, and immediately gives a lesson in Cheap Pops 101)

    ok Mick

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    I was about to say that

    Cheap Pop 101
  • Paige Kimber

    lol, even the announcers mentioned it

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Yep.

    Was kinda hard not to.
  • Paige Kimber

    (AJ’s Diva team is in the back arguing whilst AJ acts like a smug condescending bitch, ironically acting like a bigger diva than the actual Total Divas Divas. At least they addressed why Kaitlyn is on AJ’s team.)

    chirp

    Summer is tall
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Ugh.

    Everyone’s going to turn on AJ.
  • Paige Kimber

    lol.. ooo Katie.. I don’t like YOU

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    LOL

    At least they addressed it
  • Paige Kimber

    just how she said it

     (AJ leads her team to the ring looking so very tiny)

    where is security?!? a kid found her way to the ring wearing booty shorts

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    *giggles*

  • Paige Kimber

    (JoJo also looks so very very tiny)

    two of them! god security sucks at that place

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    LOL

  • Paige Kimber

    and one of the little girls has a replica belt

    my eyes can’t roll back far enough
  • Penny Marie Sautereau
    (Naomi pulls off a frankly awesome split-legged moonsault and frankly this match is about 500% better than ANYONE expected it to be)

    Shades of RVD

  • Paige Kimber

    so we know the other team is bad because they are wearing clothes right?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    >.<

  • Paige Kimber

    Rosa got a pin?

    these girls realize they can tag right?
  • Penny Marie Sautereau
    (Eva Marie is tagged in to one of the biggest heel pops of the night. Apparently she slapped King on yesterday’s Total Divas which I’ve yet to watch. The heel pop tells me most of these fans ARE in fact watching TD)

    Massive heel heat for Eva

  • Paige Kimber

    but she was nearly naked, don’t they know they are supposed to cheer for naked girls?

    Brie will be the last one standing and AJ
    Brie channeling Lita?
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    (Of all people, NIKKI Bella delivers a BRUTAL power move, properly, no botches, that looked brutal)

    *WINCES*

     That Torture Rack Backdrop was EVIL
  • Paige Kimber

    Yep

     (Paige notices every Diva is being pinned after only one good bump, most likely to get the match over as fast as possible. Because they needed time for an unannounced surprise match between Bullyberg and Bald Mountain)

    but it seems you only have to take 1 bump

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Sadly yes

    But this is the piss break match
  • Paige Kimber

    and to be fair, I think Tamina looks like her dad a lot.

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    JoJo WANTED in?

  • Paige Kimber

    she’s a face of course she does

    it’d be a hell of a push if JoJo got the pin against Tamena
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Ayup

  • Paige Kimber

    JoJo is over lol

     (Natalya wins by making AJ tap to the sharpshooter after reversing AJ’s Black Widow attempt, leaving her and Nikki Bella the sole survivors)

    whaaaa? Nattie got a win at a PPV?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    They must have forgotten she’s a Hart.

  • Paige Kimber

    (They start the now regular “Middle of PPV check-in with the Preshow Panel” bit, only for Bullyberg to interrupt, issue an open challenge, and get his ass handed to him by a returning and very bald Mark Henry)

    Hart must hate that Booker T has more titles lol

    GOLDBERG! lol
    whoa
    Somebody’s going to get their ass kicked
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Somebody gon get dey wig split

    (The match ends after Bald Mountain Mark attempts (and quite honestly fails miserably at) a high cross Body, but the announcers sell it like he was the Undertaker doing a Tope`, most likely out of a combination of pity that he failed but respect that he tried)

    0.o

     

  • Paige Kimber

    world’s largest cross body!

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    To quote Booker T…

     (Cole gets “Verbal Flub of the NIght” for screwing up the word “panel”.)

    Pamel?

    Fucking hell Cole, you have ONE job…
  • Paige Kimber

    *sighs*

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    *cuddles*

     (They begin showing the “The Story So Far” build-up video package for Cena/Del Rio)

    Okay, time to nap for about… *checks watch* 23 minutes.

  • Paige Kimber

    but if you take a nap, you can’t see the match

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    You don’t say?

  • Paige Kimber

    *waves hand in front of face*

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Seriously though, I’m legit worried about Cena.

    I don’t care HOW good a condition he’s in, one wrong move buggars his arm.
  • Paige Kimber

    the seriousness of the injury was a work I think, it was probably bursitus, which does hurt and does swell like that, but isn’t as bad

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    He has simply NOT had enough time for a full proper heal.

    Did you not watch Total Divas?
  • Paige Kimber

    I did, but it does require an operation, but like I said, it isn’t as bad as a torn tricept

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    They showed the x-rays and part of the surgery

    The X-rays passed the skeptic test.
    And bursitis doesn’t squirt like that does it?
  • Paige Kimber

    not mine, the show is a work as much as anything in the WWE

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    That blood squirt was definite fluid build-up from a tear.

  • Paige Kimber

    its a pocket of fluid, you poke a hole in it, its going to squirt. It makes more sense that its a work then someone coming back in 3 months from a 6 month injury

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Not with John.

    He came back after 3 months from neck surgery
    He legit is THAT stupid.
  • Paige Kimber

    this match killed the crowd

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Not completely, they’re still noisy

  • Paige Kimber

    nice german suplex

  • Paige Kimber

    nice neck breaker

    (To no one’s surprise Cena wins. Also cats meow.)

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Yep

    Forgone conclusion tho
    There was ZERO chance Cena would lose here.
  • Paige Kimber

    would have been nice if they did Cena in his home time like they do everyone else

    (The obligatory “Backstage Comedy Bit So Everyone Gets a PPV Cheque” skit begins with R-Truth and Santino trying to play with a stupid looking WWE toy as people keep interrupting them, getting weirder and weirder until of all people Johnny Ace cameos… and gets a crowd pop???)

    wtf
    WTFWTFWTF
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    HOW IN THE BLUE FUCK DID JOHNNY ACE JUST GET A POP?

  • Paige Kimber

    I’m laughing lol

     (The weird screech takes over and the Wyatt promo begins leading up to the only match tonight either of us ACTUALLY cared about watching)

    we’re here

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Only match tonight I care about.

  • Paige Kimber

    as bad as this PPV could have been, its been pretty good IMO

     who’s “the beard” though? which beard is punk teaming with?
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Wiseass.

  • Paige Kimber

    Wyatts have better beards lol

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    AJ

    AJ is “The Devil”.

  • Paige Kimber

    Paige! paige is the devil!

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Heh, I bloody WISH

    But she’s not free to call up yet
  • Paige Kimber why not?
    ya ya ya ya
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Because she’s the NXT Women’s champion.

    They’ll need her to drop the belt first.
     Paige Kimber
  • I believe Big E was the men’s champion when he came up

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Actually no, he’d dropped it at the tapings.

    His loss aired after his call-up but actually happened before
    As of the last taping Paige still has it.
  • Paige Kimber

    whoa a this is awesome chant for the wyatts

    just what Wyatt said
    you did this Daniel
    it IS AJ
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Goddamn the Wyatts are huge.

     (Match ends with a Punk GTS to Harper after a Bryan flying knee to Rowan. Bray teases attacking the victors but backs off)

  • Paige Kimber

    *sigh*

    Chris Hero would have fit so well with the wyatts

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Pity they turfed him.

  • Paige Kimber
    (In the back Cena is with the Authority while a doctor reassures an apparently worried Steph and Trips that Cena’s fine. Orton interrupts and they have a stare-down. Cena leaves Two-Strikes to his butthurt whining)

    hmmm, are they getting ready to unify?

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Could be.

  • Penny Marie Sautereau
    (it naturally isn’t long before the crowd starts alternating between “BORRRRING!!!” chants and “WE WANT BRYAN!!!” chants, proving once again that Mister Stephanie needs to stop booking for his FRIENDS and start booking for his AUDIENCE)

    ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING HHH?

    A “BORING” chant in the MAIN EVENT.
    NOT good.
    And a “WE WANT BRYAN!” chant too.
    How do we think Trips and Steph will justify ignoring it now?
  • Paige Kimber

    (The rest of this boring pointless unnecessary match passes by and neither of us care. Orton wins when Show is distracted by Motorhead, then Cena comes down to do an “I’M DA CHAMPEEN!!!” pose-off with Two-strikes. Show over.)

    I think its building toward unification

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Good.

  • Paige Kimber

    “face of the company”

  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Face of my fat ass.

  • Paige Kimber

    that’d be a pretty face

    WM unification match would be best
    maybe pre-WM I guess
    ok, that’s enough of that
    goodnight
  • Penny Marie Sautereau

    Nini love

    MUAH

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