A2Z Analysiz: ROH Final Battle 2003 Convention Card (Briscoes, SAT)

Uncensored

National Guard Armory – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – December 27, 2003

There is no one on commentary for these matches.

MATCH #1: Allison Danger vs. Sumie Sakai

Sakai starts off hot with a series of dropkicks and an almost quebrada. She locks on a Camel Clutch and pulls the hair for added affect. Danger fights back with a boot to the gut and a neckbreaker for two. She gets a little bit of offense in and then Sakai cuts her off with a drop toehold into the bottom rope. Sakai hits a modified 619 and then two missile dropkicks for a near-fall. She goes up top and misses a moonsault. Danger hits a clothesline for two. Sakai comes right back with a cradle to get the pin at 4:21. That was fine for four minutes, but not like they were able to establish any kinf of rhythm.
Rating: *½

CM Punk comes out and he is in a foul mood. He wants to find out who took out his girlfriend Lucy Fer (Daffney) back in Dayton on August 9 at Wrath of the Racket. Punk says he’s going to ruin everyone’s night until he finds out who was responsible. The crowd gets distracted by The Great Muta over at the autograph table and chants his name. Punk restates his promise for tonight and leaves.

MATCH #2: Do or Die Challenge – Josh Daniels vs. Puma

They start with some chain wrestling, an area in which both men excel. Daniels seems to have the advantage on the mat so Puma picks up the pace and uses kicks to gain control. Daniels responds with a belly-to-back suplex. He continues on offense, landing some hard chops and a big lariat. Puma fights back with more kicks. He hits a Northern Lights Suplex for a two-count. Puma sets Daniels on the top rope but gets shoved back. Daniels comes down with a missile dropkick. He follows with a hard German Suplex for two. Daniels tries a powerbomb but Puma floats over with a sunset flip for two. Puma tries a bunch more pinning combinations but can’t put Daniels away. He hits a dropkick to take Daniels off his feet. Puma hits a nasty springboard DDT for two. Daniels fights back and hits a nasty Fisherman Buster for the pin at 8:24. That was a solid match between two good hands. Not sure what happened to Daniels in the long run, but Puma has gone on to a very solid career.
Rating: **½

MATCH #3: The Christopher Street Connection (Buff-E & Mace) w/ Ariel vs. The Ring Crew Express (Dunn & Marcos)

All four men start off in the ring and it’s a pier-six brawl from the get-go. Buff-E and Mace make Dunn and Marcos so uncomfortable with their offense that they try to bail. CM Punk comes out and declares the match officially over after about 1:00 of action. I guess it’s a no-contest.
Rating DUD

Punk mocks Dunn and Marcos, who try to stand up for themselves. That of course doesn’t go well for them, as Punk takes them both out with malice. Buff-E gets in the ring and asks Punk if he wants to fight a real man tonight. By that of course he means Mace. Punk agrees and we have an impromptu match.

MATCH #4: CM Punk vs. Mace

They shake hands and Punk immediately goes to work. Mace fights back and actually puts together a flurry of offense. This pleases Buff-E and Ariel. Mace rubs himself over a prone Punk, and then Buff-E steals a kiss. This angers Punk, who hits Mace with a hammerlock DDT. Punk then drags Mace to the top rope to hit the Pepsi Plunge for the academic pin at 2:28. That was spirited for the time they got.
Rating: *¾

After the match Punk says that was just an example. Buff-E then revives Mace with mouth-to-mouth. Then they get up and make out some more.

MATCH #5: Four Corner Survival Match – Nick Gage vs. Hydro vs. Oman Tortuga vs. Slyk Wagner Brown

Hydro and Tortuga start the match. It doesn’t take long for Gage and Brown to get involved as well, as the referee loses control rather quickly. Offense is coming from every which way. Brown is easily the most powerful man in the match and he uses that to his advantage. No one can hold the advantage for very long, such is often the nature with these types of matches. Hydro manages to stand out, proving himself worthy of being the right Special K member chosen for this match. He takes Gage out with a dive to the floor. Brown slams Tortuga down and then follows Hydro out with a dive of his own. Tortuga recovers and goes up top to wipe out all three opponents. Hydro and Tortuga are the first two back in the ring, and Hydro delivers a pumphandle piledriver to get the pin at 7:24. Not much really meant anything but the action never stopped, which is all I would have asked this match for.
Rating: **¼

Special K tries to celebrate but the Carnage Crew comes running out to attack them. This segues into the next match quite nicely.

MATCH #6: No Disqualification Six Man Tag Team Match – Special K (Angeldust, Dixie & Izzy) vs. The Carnage Crew (DeVito, Justin Credible & Loc)

Loc, DeVito, and Credible are outnumbered but that doesn’t seem to matter much in the opening minutes. They set up an early Carnage Driver but it gets broken up. Izzy hits a dive to wipe out a bunch of people on the floor, including several teammates. DeVito follows with a moonsault from the top rope. The brawl continues on the floor and Credible is busted open slightly. Loc and Angeldust end up back in the ring. DeVito murders Izzy on the floor with a chair, while Loc gives Angeldust similar treatment in the ring. Credible goes after Azrieal in the ring, hitting the Raven drop toehold. DeVito gets busted open. The brawl is going on and for some reason the bell rings at 4:29. Apparently the state Athletic Commission ruled this a no-contest because the bloody Credible went into the crowd. If I cared at all about either the Carnage Crew or Special K this might have annoyed me.
Rating: ¼*

The brawl continues after the bell and the Crew hit Dixie with a Carnage Driver from the apron through a table on the floor. Slugger comes out in a track suit and beats up various members of Special K. Julius Smokes is out there as well, apparently with Slugger. Smokes and Slugger celebrate with the Carnage Crew for some reason.

MATCH #7: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trent Acid

Acid uses shenannigans to take the early advantage. Dutt certainly won’t go down without a fight though, and they trade momentum back and forth. They trade dive attempts to the floor but no one can connect. When Acid tries one Dutt cuts him off with a kick to the face. The fight comes ot the ring apron and Acid kicks Dutt in the groin and hits a DDT. Acid works Dutt over for several minutes but is not able to put him away. He comes off the top rope and Dutt catches him with a dropkick. Both men are down. Back on their feet Dutt unleashes a flurry of offense, culminating in a neckbreaker. Dutt goes up top and hitsa nice double jump flying elbow for two. Acid goes up top and Dutt dropkicks him down to the floor. Dutt follows him out with a double jump somersault dive to the floor. Back in the ring Acid brushes all that off and hits a Liger Bomb for two. They go up top and Acid hits a super Blue Thunder Driver for another two-count. Dutt comes back with a reverse rana and a standing shooting star press for a near-fall. Both men have decided not to care about selling and just do stuff to each other. After a series of reversals Acid lands a Yakuza Kick to get the pin at 12:54. So after all those moves on the floor, the apron, reverse ranas, and stuff like that, a boot to the face gets the win. That’s why Trent Acid sucked and a lot of early ROH matches sucked for the same reasons.
Rating: *¾

MATCH #8: ROH Tag Team Title Match – The Briscoes (Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe) vs. The SAT (Joel Maximo & Jose Maximo)

The Briscoes have been the Champions since 11.1.03, and this is their third defense. I don’t recall what the SAT did to earn this title shot. ay and let’s say Joel start the match. I honestly don’t know which Maximo is which. They do some chain wrestling and on one gets an advantage. Mark and Jose tag in for some faster, more physical back and forth exchange. The referee loses control and all four men fight in the ring. They wrestle to a standoff and the buttholes in the audience cheer. The referee continues to allow all four men in the ring, not even trying to stop them. Jose sends Jay to the floor and takes him out with a dive. Mark takes Jose out with his own dive, and then Joel takes out Mark. Back in the ring the challengers take control. After a short time Mark makes the tag and Jay goes to work. The Briscoes are all over Joel here, barely giving him room to breathe. Referee Paul Turner loses conrol again. Mark knocks Joel to the floor and takes him out with a shooting star press. Mark Briscoe has no fear. Meanwhile, Jay hits Jose with a gourdbuster and a Death Valley Driver for two. The aciton is coming fast and furious both in and out of the ring. The SAT hit Mark with the Spanish Fly and Jay hits Joel with the Jay Driller. Turner counts both covers, but ALL FOUR MEN CANNOT BE LEGAL. I hate that spot. Jay and Jose trade shots and Jose hits a nasty Air Raid Crash.Mark comes to his brother’s rescue with an exploder. Joel goes up top and Mark tries to take him down but Jose has a better idea, sort of suplexing Mark to the canvas. The SAT hit a dual moonsault / guillotine legdrop but Mark is able to kick out. They try a Doomsday Device but Mark catches Joel in a powerslam on the way down to get a two-count. Jay pulls Jose to the floor and take shim out with a Jay Driller! The Briscoes hit Joel with the springboard Doomsday Device to get the win at 13:00. That was decent formula stuff, especially for the Maximos. Joel and Jose were a little bit all over the place, but the Briscoes kept them decently in check.
Rating: **½

After the match Samoa Joe comes out to confront the Briscoes, and before a beatdown can commence, Bryan Danielson comes to make the save. Joe will face Mark for the ROH World Title later in the evening, and Jay will battle Danielson in the opening match. Danielson gets on the mic and says the next time he shakes Joe’s hand will be when he’s about to face him for the ROH World Title, and then after he defeats him and wins said title. Joe has no response.

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