BD-reaking News: Tragic News For Professional Wrestling Fans Everywhere

News, Top Story

Tragic news broke today that has wrestling fans everywhere devastated. No, it’s nothing to do with Jerry Lawler. (In fact, if you’re a teenage girl, that’s not even really bad news.)

Jeff Jarrett, an unsuccessful wrestling promoter who plays an unsuccessful wrestling character of the same name, may be starting another wrestling promotion. You can read more about this here, and certainly there is lots to talk about, but there’s one thing that’s time sensitive – helping Jeff Jarrett pick a name for his new project. Last time he started a promotion, when trying to come up with a name, he shouted out “TITS CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!” and his people managed to talk him down to “TNA”. Over 10 years have passed, and even if people have never seen a frame of the show they still suffer by having to see the stupid name “TNA” everywhere.

This can not happen again. We need to help Jeff Jarrett find a name for his new promotion very quickly. He may be considering names already, and if we’re too late, we’ll end up looking at news posts with “Twerking Championship Wrestling” in the title for the next 10 years.

I can’t, in good faith, let that happen. We are wrestling fans, and we put up with a lot of shit. TNA fans have suffered enough. Sure, they’re mentally damaged, but the mentally damaged need our help too. This is not about revenge. This is about saving the future of humanity. I will not sacrifice the Enterprise. We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! THIS FAR, NO FARTHER! And I will make them pay for what they’ve done! THE OCCUPATION IS OVER!!! LONG LIVE THE RESISTANCE!!!

So post your name suggestions for TNA 2, below. It doesn’t even have to be TNA 2. It can be anything really.

I came up with:

– TNA 2: Electric Bugalloo
– TNA 2: Judgement Day
– TNA 2: The Jarrett Who Shagged Me
– TNA 2: Cruise Control
– TNA 2: Risk Addiction
– TNA 2: The Edge Of Reason
– TNA 2: Book Of Shadows
– TNA 2: The Revenge
– TNA 2: Jarrett Family Values
– TNA 2 & The Last Crusade

CB came up with TNA 2: The Search For More Money. Wrestling Facts came up with NWA:2NA.

Post your suggestions below.

And if you get a chance, check out the newest project from myself and fellow Inside-Pulser Jonah Kue. Brought to you by Chris Sanders and Joel Leonard at Classy Ring Attire, we present their sister podcast, Trashy Ring Attire! We’d love you to check it out. Go here if interested, and let us know what you think.


BD writes about professional wrestling on Inside Pulse until he has to stop because he's about to have a stroke. Any “errors” that are made on his part are, of course, intentional and represent an artistic choice. He acts as a kind of fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.