The Bachelor 2014 – Episode 5 Review – Fun Dip

Reviews

Good morning, Vietnam! Or good evening, I guess. Anyway, that’s where Juan Pablo and the ladies went tonight.

Date #1 – Renee

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Juan Pablo’s first date was with Renee, who has been one of my favorites so far. She’s pretty, seems very smart and laid back, and is a mom. They spent the day wandering Danang and buying gifts for their kids, and then had dinner.

Juan Pablo gave her the rose because she has pretty blue eyes and makes adorable facial expressions.

But no kiss! Juan Pablo wanted to be respectful of her son, who hopefully is not watching this show.

Date #2 – Group Date

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Clare, Clare, Clare! She’s the Marcia, and everyone else on this group date is the Jan.

That could pretty much sum up the group date, guys. In fact, let’s leave it at that. He gave her the rose, after all.

Clare also got a bonus date when she circled back to Juan Pablo’s room at 4am and invited him to go swimming. “The waves we wild, and we got a little wild too,” he said. Ew. Ew, Juan Pablo. Think of your daughter! Or the viewers at home. No one wants to see this.

Did I hear Clare right, though – did she say that she wanted to check something off her bucket list by swimming in a warm ocean? Because she’s from Sacramento. I know that’s Northern California, but like…hasn’t she ever been on a road trip?

Date #3 – Nikki

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Juan Pablo’s mind was still on Clare when Nikki showed up, because well you know why. Nikki and Juan Pablo’s date was a classic “Do this scary thing and then compare it to a relationship” gimmick. My fave! They rappelled into a cave, because pressuring women into doing things they wouldn’t otherwise do is true love.

I liked when Nikki was talking about her job, because people do that on dates. It wasn’t a sob story, or talking about mending her broken heart. It was just like “Hey, this is what I do, how I began to do it, why I do it, and how it’s shaped me.” Career conversations interest me so much more than most other conversations we see on this show.

Nikki got a rose, because she keeps babies alive.

Cocktail Party & Rose Ceremony

Hey when was the last time we talked about Clare? 45 seconds ago? The answer is too long ago! Let’s discuss that awkward conversation Juan Pablo had with Clare before the rose ceremony.

Basically, Juan Pablo was suffering from some serious morning-after regrets. He’s kissing too many ladies, getting dirty in the ocean, and setting a bad example for his daughter. So to appease his guilt, he told Clare that she should also feel guilty. That’s what happened, right?

Clare cried over disappointing Juan Pablo’s daughter. I mean, the kid is going to see this, like, ten years from now on YouTube. Not tomorrow. Get over it. Clare was right when she said that Juan Pablo shouldn’t have accepted her invitation if he didn’t want to do it. No one forced him to “go swimming” with her, so he shouldn’t have dumped all his guilt on her.

Kelly the “Dog Lover”, Danielle and Alli were sent home – no surprises there. Juan Pablo cried, which is more embarrassing to me than his 4am inappropriate swimming. I hope his daughter doesn’t see that!

Are there already only eight women left? I might even actually know all their names now! I’m looking forward to seeing the Clare drama continue next week, and some new Sharleen drama. See you then!

You can follow Jill at her blog, couchtimewithjill.com, or on Twitter @jillemader Jill has been an avid fan of TV since the age of two, when she was so obsessed with Zoobilee Zoo that her mother lied and told her it had been canceled. Despite that setback, she grew up to be a television aficionado and pop culture addict.