THE RAGER! Snowy Streams of Consciousness (Antonio Cesaro, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan)

It’s time for a little full disclosure. I really am not feeling this whole “writing a column” thing this week and was incredibly tempted to just take a week off especially when it seems like WWE writer have had the past couple weeks off just based off what I’ve seen on Raw since Rumble. However I decided against skipping this week because of a certain game…Flappy Bird. And no, I didn’t play the game before the creator pulled the plug on it. However, I am incredibly entertained by this person’s replacement version of the game and I wanted to spread the word of Flappy Bryan. That’s right, it’s a Daniel Bryan-themed replacement of Flappy Bird although the maker did miss a big opportunity to call it “Flappy Beard.” If the IWC actually does exist (I’m still confused as to why there was such a long, heated debate on it’s exitence), I know the IWC gods are smiling down on this game. So yes, the existence of this column for the week is merely an excuse to plug a game that I had nothing to do with. If you navigate away from this column at this point, no hard feelings and I will see you next week.

So some of you are still here? Ah crap, I guess I should say something about wrestling then. The remainder of this will be very stream of consciousness so be warned if I veer off at any point.

Joel and I were recording this week’s Classy Ring Attire a little earlier than we normally do because I had made plans to travel and spend the week in my childhood city of Fayetteville with my parents and do the whole pre-birthday festivities with them as well as the rest of the extended family down there. However, the weather decided that I should be snowed-in and postponed all my plans until after my birthday in a few weeks. And yes, when I say “snowed in,” it’s the Southern US definition of getting a few inches of snow and ice and the entire region shuts down while the rest of the country laughs at us…especially my Canadian colleagues. Please understand, this happens because the infrastructure of the entire Southeastern US is not equipped for any ice or snow accumulation ever. Of course, wintery weather is not unheard of in this region so you would think drastic improvements would’ve been made decades ago to avoid entire cities and towns shutting down. However, remind yourselves that the US south has the highest percentage of the population that doesn’t believe in ANY sort of global warming or climate change…so try not to be surprised that the south is closed due to this foreign white cold stuff falling from the sky.

Sorry, back to wrestling. Since Raw has been so dreary the past couple of weeks, on Classy Ring Attire, we’ve started doing a segment called “What’s making you happy this week?” We do this because, as we’ve stated many times, we try to not be just another wrestling podcast that features two guys nobody’s ever heard of that just completely crap on wrestling for an hour. While we do have our airing of grievances every week, we try to bring out some positives because the point of the podcast is that we ARE fans of wrestling which means there should be SOMETHING out there that we’re enjoying.

There’s one thing that’s kinda flying under the radar lately, especially with all the Punk hubbub going on, and that’s Antonio Cesaro (or just Cesaro now, apparently) being a participant in the Elimination Chamber. Honestly, I’m not expecting him to be anywhere close to winning this match but I’m simply excited that he’s being included, especially considering this is for the only major championship the company has right now. I know I got onto the Cesaro bandwagon a little late, especially since he had a well-deserved following since his indy days and I wasn’t converted until a few weeks into his US Championship reign. Remember how refreshing it was when people (on a massive scale) started to really understand just how talented Daniel Bryan is? I’m starting to have that same feeling as more and more people really how massively impressive Cesario is. Of all the young talent that we all seem to be excited about for the future of the company (Shield and Wyatts), Cesaro seems to be lost in the shuffle in our collective fantasy bookings. Sure, some of that may have to do with Cesaro being a little bit older than the guys in that discussion but still, I can’t wait until Cesaro gets that one push and I believe he’ll run incredibly well with it. So again, I’m expecting him to win the EC match but I really hope it’s a building block.

But moving onto things that I have a far less optimistic outlook on, these Raw episodes have just felt awkward. I went into excruciating detail of the whole Punk thing last week and I’ll hold to my promise to not really talk about it anymore because it’s gotten enough speculation and coverage to last us a very long while. However, almost every segment feels uneasy. It’s like you’re forced to be in a room with 5 people that are your friends but everybody is pissed at each other and nobody will talk about it even though everyone is aware of why they’re pissed. This is the ultimate elephant in the room because there was this guy that was a huge of WWE’s broadcast every week and then suddenly he’s not there and nobody is saying anything even though they know that we know. Of course, Shield is getting a little more ballsy when Raw goes into commercial and it IS surprising that WWE put the footage on their website but that just seems to make the company’s silence on it that much more weird. Also, I’ve come to the realization that there’s almost no way for Punk to come back without people shouting “it’s a work” from the rooftops…regardless of it it’s actually a work or not.

Finally, the Punk chants are still weak. Not really stating that there’s point to be made here, just putting it out there because I find it interesting as a habitual people-watcher (not in a creepy way…at least not this time).

Maybe next week will be an actual structured RAGER! No promises.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: So I don’t have a date for Valentine’s but I just did a phone survey about grocery stores and the lady sounded very nice…so I’ve got that going for me, right?

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