The View From Down Here – What’s the Hubbub, Bub?

I said I might be back, but it’s not in any way, shape or form a regular thing.

What have I done this year? Some wrestling parodies that got me a heap of emails with people sending me their own, ranging from the very good (‘Zeb the Faux Grand Dragon’ by Jay Hillard – bravo, sir) to the downright crap (two people who sent me parodies entitled ‘WWE Bites The Dust’… guys, it doesn’t even scan!), and a heap of vitriol for wasting the time and space on the site (thanks, oh confident and wise internet user ‘Sheet’ who hides behind an anonymous name like any… meh, why bother; it’s like talking to goats, it really is). I’ve updated some news on JJ’s new wrestling promotion, and I wrote a column about 5 PPVs you should track down on the new network. Oh, I also comment here and there.

But I shouldn’t.

You see, I have put my money where my mouth is.

Yeah... something like that... sure (from TVrage.com)

Yeah… something like that… sure
(from TVrage.com)

I am not happy with the direction of the WWE in storyline or main eventers (although I like that Daniel Bryan is in the main event, albeit as everyone’s whipping boy at the moment; and, yes he is in the main event. How many more shows does he have to be in the end of for him to be considered main event by everyone?) and the recycling of yet another authority figure angle.

 

This is supposed to apply to consumables... not overused storylines. (from umass.edu)

This is supposed to apply to consumables… not overused storylines.
(from umass.edu)

I was also not happy with some of the production. The Michael Bay-ing of their camera shots, zooming in with kicks, shaky-cam stuff. This is wrestling, not Hollywood. And speaking for some-one who has seen too many of the WWE’s filmic attempts, it’s definitely not Hollywood. Nothing WWE does is Hollywood.

And I was really unhappy with the women’s wrestling. Again, as some-one who has watched Shine and Shimmer, I knew that the USA had some great female talents. I also knew there were some talents on the WWE payroll. But what we got was more AJ, who outstayed her welcome after, oh I don’t know, a month, and others who people claim have improved, but, then again, some people claim that the Twilight books improved as well… but being less shit than before is still being shit.

In the midst of all this, I grew so put off by TNA – as did my son – that getting rid of that bit of watching was not a strain. Especially after AJ Styles left. But that show was giving me a headache, watching so much talent go to waste and watching people like The Bromans, Anderson and EC3 being pushed at the expense of people with ability.

This is why we can't have TNA in the house anymore. (from news.open2view.com)

This is why we can’t have TNA in the house anymore.
(from news.open2view.com)

I watched the Rumble… Was underwhelmed. No, it wasn’t terrible or bad, just… meh. But I always watch the Rumble. And then there was this Rumble from Japan:

 It’s an hour and a half long, so if you’ve got time…

This actually brings me to my point, but I won’t go there just yet. More whingeing first.

You see, I also live in a country that won’t get the WWE Network for at least a year, probably longer. The regulations here – and an incoming Internet filter – are just ridiculous. When it comes to old stuff, I think I have copies through old tape trading days and friends in the US of nearly every PPV from WWF/E, WCW and ECW (and most of TNA as well, though that doesn’t count) up to 2010. Old Raws, etc don’t interest me (though I do have a copy of Raw is Owen), so actually the Network only has one thing to keep me enthralled – NXT.

Guess what, I can’t get NXT here any longer either. I saw Arrival (thanks Travis! – who sent me a copy on USB) and thought it was the best WWE PPV (they called it a PPV… but is it a PPV when you don’t Pay to View?) show I’ve seen in ages. That was the first time I’d seen a full NXT show, and what I’ve missed out on is clearly my own stupid fault.

Yes, I fail this bad.

Yes, I fail this bad.

 Okay, my point. So many commentators out there are saying that the WWE isn’t giving the people what they want. They say they aren’t happy, they say they want to be entertained their way and yet the WWE is giving them Randy ‘Boring as Batshit’ Orton and Dave ‘In It For The Movie Roles’ Ba(u)tista as their Wrestlemania main event. They say that there’s too much HHH and that nothing makes sense.

And they still watch.

Why?

Just so they can complain? Really?

That's about the size of it. (from kayfabenews.com)

That’s about the size of it.
(from kayfabenews.com)

 But, they invariably say, we like wrestling. What else is there to watch?

Well, I can’t feel good about myself if I recommend TNA (and I’m not just saying that because they rejected my job application, but it has led to some other interesting prospects in the USA… not bad for a guy from the arse-end of the universe*), so I won’t.

Nyah nyah nyah. (from coachella.com)

Nyah nyah nyah.
(from coachella.com)

 But I’ve got into ROH and DragonGate. I’ve discovered a bit of Puroresu. I’m actually looking forward to Jarrett’s new promotion. (No, really.) The local scene here has been off my radar for a while, partly due to the politics of some of the people involved, and partly because if I can’t do it, then I am having trouble watching people not as good as I was (and I was shit).

I don’t need WWE. I still like wrestling. ROH’s latest PPV I got on some sort of internet video on demand thing that didn’t cost me an arm and a leg and, apart from one or 2 matches, kept me thoroughly entertained. My son watches the old DVDs and VCR video tapes, and there’s enough there for him. He’s recently discovered In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede and the main event. I have no issue with that at all.

How could anyone get tired of watching this?!

How could anyone get tired of watching this?!

So why do we still have people wanting to “riot”, “hijack”, “take-over”, “demand” or whatever the WWE’s shows? Stop watching! It will hit their bottom line, their hip-pocket, and that’s the only thing they’ll listen to. But, you see, at the moment they don’t care that you hate the product because

YOU

ARE

STILL

WATCHING

THE

PRODUCT!

Oh well. I’m NOT watching their product. I’m not missing their product. ROH and my video collection will do us just fine. They want me back, and my family, and the friends that family could turn onto this (as my son’s friends love the wrestling video collection here… most of them just love the concept of a video as half have never seen one of them before either… modern technology – you suck), then they need to give us wrestling (not just one good match per Raw), storylines that make sense and less guys hired because they were relevent half a decade or more ago.

Oh well. That’s where I stand.

 

 

 

 

*If any other wrestling bodies need a writer, drop me a line. I reckon I can easily juggle another one – or 2 – in there. Here’s my writing blog. [/shameless_plug]

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