I was going to do a profile of Buff Bagwell, but then I lost my notes. So I started a profile of Mattitude Matt Hardy, but I want to add more to it and make sure my facts are straight. While I was searching for an idea, I noticed the wrestling sites were just full of angry comments. I’m not sure why you would call New Jack the N-word while your pic, and name are right next to the comment? I just wanted to share the dumbassery with you, and I have a notebook full of the Jr IWC’s best comments. So lets take a look, and then my Mania Prediction Card is at the end.
I changed the names of the people who said these, but they are real.
here’s our first comment
[Timmy] “I don’t understand why WWE won’t release Over the Edge’99? Its been 14 years, and we’re all old enough to see what happened.”
[CH Punk] Over the Edge 1999 wasn’t a good show. Even if WWE edited out Owen’s tragic segment, it was a horrible ppv. The talent was in no mood to wrestle after seeing a guy they all knew and loved die. The fact that he thinks his WWE Network subscription entitles him to watch what amounts to a wrestling snuff film is sick. I’ve also noticed a number of Jr Marks that think Owen was only good because he died in the ring. They have no idea that he was pretty much one of the top three wrestlers in WWE for his entire career.
[Andy] “Muhammad Hassan was the greatest heel in WWE history because he was fired over his gimmick. He was a great worker too.”
[CH Punk] Now the same marks that think Paige and Daniel Bryan are great workers, find Hassan to be a great worker too? These guys have no idea why they like guys like Punk, and Bryan. They have no idea what makes a great heel because they were around 8 years old when heels started being neutered. They think that a hometown heel should be cheered, or that every heel deserves a title run.
[Billy] “The Streak shouldn’t end because Undertaker was so loyal to WWE.”
[CH Punk] We aren’t dealing with wrestling fans anymore. These are mostly WWE fans that feel WWE is the only successful wrestling company in history. They really believe Undertaker is a humble warrior and journeyman. They won’t believe that Undertaker held down talent from 1998-2006. Company loyalty means dick. If Bischoff would’ve guaranteed that Taker would have received more money, and the top spot in WCW, Mean Mark would’ve returned home to WCW. Undertaker wouldn’t even job to John Cena, or Brock Lesner unless the heels cheated. These idiots don’t noticed that he’s been wrestling crippled since 2007. Also The Streak means nothing. It’s just the WrestleMania match where Undertaker wins his meaningless annual match.
[Cody] “Bully Ray should leave TNA and have one last good run in WWE.”
[CH Punk] Cody is inbred if he think Bubba Ray Dudley is going to go farther in WWE, than Bully Ray did in TNA. The TNA World Title is still a higher belt than the WWE Tag Team Championship. I guess we can have poor Mick Foley drag out his WWE Hardcore Title again for seven months? Although I’d rather watch Bully Ray cause chaos as a top heel in TNA, than see him putting opponents through air tables. They’re called “air tables” because WWE wont allow him to put people through real tables. I’m not even sure Bully has discussed full retirement? Cody also thought Bully has probably already signed with Jeff Jarrett’s NEW (Non-Existent Wrestling) Federation. Yeah. So Cody’s confused.
[Jesse] “WWE has told announcers to stop calling Daniel Bryan a “goat face”, or refer to him as smaller. His push is ready.”
[CH Punk] For as long as pro wrestling has been online there have been fan boy wet dreams. Most of these are made up fantasy lies that we wish would happen. I once read that WWE was looking to give Raven a huge push against the Undertaker at WrestleMania 17. I was so excited to see Raven’s début, but then nothing happened and Raven was in a stupid match with Kane and Big Show at Mania. I was pretty sure Raven was going nowhere when they took him out of a European Title match at Backlash, but there were rumors by fans that he would be getting a big push until they released him. See there are plenty of Bryan fans willing to lie and make up bs rumors. This gets compounded by the number of wrestling news sites that also make up shit.
[Wally] “CH Punk is an out of touch dick that thinks he knows everything. He thinks TNA is cool. Need I say more?”
[CH Punk] Doh. My opinions against WWE have made me TNA’s number 1 supporter. I have stood up for TNA, but a lot of people think I find everything TNA does wonderful. This used to happen back when WCW was around. I just never saw why the formula was, WWE+ECW=Good, and WCW+South = Mistake?
Okay so that’s the kind of fans I have. Just 20 hulked up teenage fellas telling me I suck, and 3 regulars. Honestly I’m happy to have anyone read what I say. Okay now to my Mania Card. This is a serious prediction. This isn’t a joke. I just based this on what I see happening. I’m sure similar lists will be made.
Mania Prediction Card
1) Brock vs Taker #Duh
2) Batista vs Orton vs Daniel Bryan w/ Triple H as ref
3) Christian vs Sheamus No Holds Barred Match
4) Ambrose vs Reigns vs Rollins for the USA Belt
5) Cena vs Bray
6) Usos vs Wyatts for the WWE Tag Team Titles
7) Cesaro vs Swagger vs Big E. for the IC Belt
8) Hijinks with Ziggler, Miz, Goldust, etc
9) WWE Divas clusterfuck
10) Kick-off: Santino vs Fandango
