THE RAGER! The Excitement Of and All Things Regarding Wrestlemania XXX

The time has finally come for us to celebrate WWE’s 4th of July meaning that there are a lot of fireworks, friends come to hang out and eat food. It’s a great time, especially when you use this time of year as an excuse to drive half an hour to go laser-tagging in costume with said friends. It’s a good time for all, this year’s theme is “overly athletic” in where headbands are required and fingerless gloves are encouraged.

But enough about all that, let’s talk about the parts of the weekend you all actually give a crap about, starting with the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Your 2014 inductees are:

Ultimate Warrior: I personally wasn’t thrilled about his inclusion into the Hall of Fame but then again, I was 2 years old when he won the championship from Hogan at Wrestlemania VI so I might have missed the boat on that. When Joel and I attempted to watch all of the Wrestlemanias for Classy Ring Attire, I did realize finally that it was sort of a big deal that Warrior beat Hogan at IV but it just seemed to make his fall from grace kinda sad. I know it’s not a perfect analogy be Warrior was the Ryback of his time. Linda McMahon is apparently inducting Warrior and that puzzles the crap out of me. I realize he was close to the McMahon’s back in the day but still, Linda?

Jake “The Snake” Roberts: The guy created a wrestling move that is used, in some form, by almost every other wrestler now. That fact alone reserves his place in the Hall added to the career and then you add the great recovery he’s made over the past year and a half and you have perhaps one of the most deserving Hall nominations ever. DDP is the obvious choice to induct him and makes the moment that much more special for Roberts.

Lita: Makes complete sense for her to be inducted the year after Trish and be inducted by Trish. Honestly, the careers of these two ladies will forever be linked. It’s really difficult to point out which one was better, I suppose it all depends on where your personal bias lies. Maybe it might have been a little bit more fitting if the Hardy’s inducted her but I’m not complaining one bit. Besides, I don’t wanna waste any more time on hearing about some sort of trade deal with TNA to get Jeff Hardy for a night. He can stay at TNA with his horrible music.

Paul Bearer: Incredibly obvious choice for the Hall and probably should’ve been done years ago while he was still with us but I do realize WWE was probably waiting until after Undertaker finally retired and could induct PB out of character. Personally, PB was always one of my favorite managers and I sincerely wish he was still alive to witness his induction because I know his speech would’ve been great. Undertaker is the only choice to induct Bearer, in character or not, it doesn’t matter.

Carlos Colon: Admittedly, I don’t know much about Colon other than the Bruiser Brody murder and the account of the incident given by Dirty Dutch (Zeb) and rumor that inducting Colon was a way for WWE to buy WWC footage for the Spanish speaking audience. At the very least, it’ll be nice to see Carlito for a little bit and I wonder if the other two will come out as Los Matadores or Primo and Epico (all are still listed on WWE’s current roster).

Mr. T: Probably should’ve been the first inductee whenever WWE began the whole celebrity wing nonsense. Hasn’t been announced yet but I’d be legitimately surprised if Hogan doesn’t induct him, although it would be hilarious if Roddy was given the honors.

Razor Ramon: Another great recovery story and it’s fitting that he’s in the same class year as Roberts. I was never a fan of Scott Hall as far as his ring career goes but I understand the appeal. Kevin Nash would be the obvious choice to induct Razor.

Let’s move on to the show of shows, yes?

Pre-Show Tag Team Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Championship Match:
The Usos(c) vs The Real Americans vs Los Matadores vs Curtis Axel
It’s really the typical type of dark matches WWE has had for previous Wrestlemanias, I’m just glad the Battle Royal wasn’t on the pre-show.

Shield vs Citizen Kane & New Age Inlaws
Honestly, this is kind of a waste of Shield but you do have to find a way to get these guys on the Wrestlemania card. I almost would rather see a Shield breakup because that would’ve meant a triple threat match for WM30.

ARMBAR Match
Thanks to the internet for coming up with an abbreviated way to talk about this match (the acronym stands for the Andre Roussimoff Memorial BAttle Royal). Since the match was announced, I thought it was a forgone conclusion that Big Show would be winning it because…well…it’s Big Show and WWE has an obsession with the guy and Wrestlemania. However, if WWE decides to go another route, I could see WWE going with Big E or Alexander Rusev. Either way, I love the idea along with the trophy and I hope it becomes the new Wrestlemania tradition…just as long as it doesn’t get it’s own PPV eventually.

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational
The cards are stacked against AJ but to be honest, there seems to be an overall lack of involvement of AJ these days so I can see the Divas Championship changing hands. Exactly who gets the butterfly, I don’t know because I really haven’t given it much thought.

John Cena vs Bray Wyatt
I’m still very much looking forward to this match because Bray is a promo machine and really is the perfect enemy for Cena right now. My only concern is that the issue of the rest of the Wyatt Family hasn’t been raised. It concerns me because the biggest complaint I had about Bray’s match against Kane at SummerSlam was that he didn’t beat Kane by himself and didn’t sit right with me. So in the miracle that Bray actually beats Cena, I would really like the monster to do it himself without help from the others. I know it seems like a long shot but Daniel Bryan pulled it off so it feels like anything really is possible. I’m just not holding my breath and I do realize that if Bray wins, it’ll be due to the help of the family.

Winner Moves on
Daniel Bryan vs HHH
If done right, this will be the beginning of a single night heroic build of Daniel Bryan that could lead to a great finish at the end of the show. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if some sort of shenanigan went down where DB got the win but HHH beat the crap out of him after the match or something along those lines. Either the crowd will be going crazy over DB being in the main event or the crowd goes crazy over HHH burying their hero and they’re left with 3 guys they hate. A good time will be had by me either way.

Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar
Still would’ve liked a story of any sort but I was on-board the moment Taker “stabbed” Brock with a pen. Besides, it’s a streak match, that IS the story to get you excited for Mania. Any story beyond that is just a way to keep you interested week-to-week in Raw and we all know WWE abandoned that strategy ages ago. I have a renewed interest in Brock after his great match against Punk at Summerslam and I know it won’t be the same because Brock’s work is usually dictated by his opponent but still, I’m hoping Brock continues down that path, especially when both men wrestle like they don’t have a match the next night…because they don’t.

Triple Threat WWEWHC Match
Batista vs Randy Orton vs The Almighty Vacant
First of all, Batista won me back over when he went “off script” at the press conference. However, I’m certain that press conference was viewed by 25 fans that were actually awake or unemployed (me) and I don’t think that’s enough to sway the hearts and minds of the universe. But I really think WWE’s aim is for the fans to be going crazy (in a positive way) at the end of their 30th anniversary of Wrestlemania and the first PPV being streamed on their new network. It just makes sense but then again, making sense has never really been a strong point for WWE. My opinion is that Daniel Bryan winning at the end of Wrestlemania is the best way to go at this point. You’ve still got time before Guardians of the Galaxy comes out to put the belts on Batista, just give this one to the fans and they’ll have the best fan stock footage ever. I’d say that would be worth it for WWE.

Of course, the night after Wrestlemania has become an event in itself and there’s already a ton of speculation going around about that show. As it stands, most seem to believe Sting will actually make an appearance to start something with Undertaker for next year (I’m not holding my breath). The more likely thing to happen is the rumor that RVD will be making a return that night. I’m sure a lot of other stuff will be going down that night and who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and Randy will forget his lines again. *fingers crossed*

Everybody have a great time enjoying this weekend, I know I will. We’ll be live tweeting Wrestlemania so go follow us @CRAttire and join the fun. It’s a good time had by all!

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: Manchester Orchestra’s new album came out yesterday. You should go get it.

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