THE RAGER + Raw 10 Thoughts – The Super Column (Shield, Evolution, John Cena)

So I’m traveling this week so instead of writing the Raw 10 Thoughts right after the show, we recorded this week’s episode of Classy Ring Attire instead. So while I’m writing my post-Payback column, I might as well tag on the 10 Thoughts at the end. So it’s a double stuffed episode of RAGER!

El Torito vs Hornswaggle
The strangest thing about this match was Hornswaggle willingly sitting himself in the barber’s chair. Every time we have a hair match, the opposition has to hold the loser in the chair so they can’t bail. You have someone of Hornswaggle’s size and WWE is missing the spot of one of the Matadores picking him up and putting him in the chair. But then again, I’m sure Hornswaggle is a difficult person to pick up. Either way, I’d be okay with his feud ending soon because they’ve just about worn out their welcome with me.

Sheamus vs Cesaro
I hate myself for saying this out-loud but I think I like a Sheamus match. Of course it’s easy to give all credit for that to Cesaro and you wouldn’t necessarily be incorrect in that assessment but I suppose some kudos is deserving for Sheamus because he didn’t screw anything up. It is kinda weird to see the faciest of face Sheamus get a roll-up win but it’s a good way of showing how tough of a competitor Cesaro is.

Ryback and Curtis Axel vs CoDust
Of course the biggest story with all of this is what happened after CoDust lost. This is an interesting way to potentially break them up without turning either heel and having the obligatory former tag team match. It’s different and I’m always down for different as long as it makes story sense.

Rusev vs Big E
It’s matches like this that make me believe in a monster heel push more than all of those squash matches. Beating Kofi, R-Truth and Xavier Woods isn’t exactly an accomplishment these days.

Kane attacked Kofi because twitter. The fact that Kane is even on twitter melts my brain.

Bad News Barrett vs RVD
Another solid match from Barrett but I don’t really have any thoughts on this match. I’m happy that RVD is happy and back with WWE but let’s put him in an actual story if they’re gonna bring him back.

John Cena vs Bray Wyatt
Fine enough match, some good spots here and there and I don’t have too much to complain about. Having all of the outside action involving other people was weird. It makes sense that Cena would want to equalize the other Wyatts with the Usos but what doesn’t make sense to me is them leaving only to re-enter the match as if it were some sort of surprise. Also, the ending was weird but I’m not exactly what I was expecting to happen. At least it didn’t have anything to do with duct tape, right? I just have no idea what Bray is going to do from here.

Paige vs Alicia Fox
Solid match but every Divas match seems completely horrible in comparison to the Charlotte and Natalya match from Takeover last week.

Shield vs Evolution
Quality match, definitely a good match to end this feud on (at least in this incarnation of it). Of course I’ve got to mention the Rollins spot off the titantron and the really great camera work (I do love the shot of all 6 men crawling towards the ring after the Rollins spot). It was a really long match and it felt even longer that it took so long to start eliminating people. However, it a match like, it makes sense that eliminations beget eliminations quickly following each other so the length is a really a minor complaint for me. But then again, it might’ve felt longer because I was watching it at 3am after I worked a 12 hour shift.

Raw 10 Thoughts 6.2.2014

1. I like Batista, he’s entertaining as hell and it’s hilarious when he interacts with the internet and I feel like he wasn’t given a fair shake in this current run. Honestly, we would’ve boo’d anyone that won the Royal Rumble not named Daniel Bryan and it didn’t help that he was a part-timer that also happens to be buddies with HHH. Some time off to promote his movie and return against HHH should probably give him the face run they were looking for. Also, after he quit, a reporter dude from WWE asked for clarification because it “looked” like Batista quit. It probably looked so much like he quit because the words “I quit” did come out of his mouth, you dick-shelf.

2. I just don’t have any words to explain what Sandow is doing right now. It’s like the Charlie Haas gimmick but with 87% less commitment.

3. Bo Dallas looks like someone that once weighed 400lbs but lost it all and still has skin flaps.

4. So it looks like either way, there’s only going to be 1 MitB match. However, if DB doesn’t compete, that’s just a ladder match for the title and the name of the pay per view will be a lie. Why not just have two? One regular MitB match and then the one for the championship can be their “all-star” match for this year. It fills up the card and keeps their ladder match quota at what we’re used to.

5. Embrace the Hate came back to the delight of absolutely no one. Also, way to put your #1 contender in a match that he’s gonna lose cleanly to. Sure it’s John Cena and just about everybody loses to him but still, why even put Kane in that scenario? Because he said something Stephanie didn’t like? They literally could’ve put anybody else in that spot. But they did have to put Cena on Raw somewhere and somebody else already took the role of Sin Cara.

6. Nikki Bella had to go through a handicap match against Alicia Fox and Askana. I was most worried for Nikki’s eye sockets.

7. Yes, I’m angry about Dolph not qualifying of the MitB match even after ADR got the jobber entrance coming back from commercial. I wonder how he got himself in this mess this time. Can’t be any worse than whoever Sandow pissed off but it feels like Ziggler will be coming out in Batman pajamas any week now.

8. I began to openly cursed when it was revealed that Sin Cara would be Goldust’s partner, it was just a old habit from the Botch Cara days. But I do like Hunicara and I wish they would kinda use him for more stuff.

9. Rusev got a medal and a ceremony, he was beaming with such excitement, right? Seriously, nobody came out to interrupt the Russian national anthem? Is this even a wrestling company anymore? I’m gonna have to break out the WEE moniker again? (World Entertainment Entertainment).

10. So Seth turned on Shield and joined Evolution and it seems like we’re all still unsure about our feelings about it. I will say this much, out of all the Shield members that I would’ve guessed who would turn heel or against the Shield, Seth was the absolutely last person. It was surprising and, again, if WWE can surprise me, they deserve an award. Of course, we weren’t ready for Shield to break apart but I don’t think we would ever be ready so this might be a ripping the bandaid off situation.

Finally, we announced on a special Classy Ring Attire podcast that we will be starting our own production studio. It’s all under the umbrella of a company Joel and myself started called Irrelevant But Awesome. Basically, CRA and Trashy Ring Attire (and a few other podcasts) are all under the IBA umbrella but we’re looking to branch out into other interests. The main interest of ours is short film and eventually features but we’re also looking into doing things that involve gaming and a bunch of other ventures. One of which is a graphic novel that I’m writing and I’m super excited to put it out there. I’m telling you all of this because we started a gofundme campaign with our production director (whom we call Beardsly) because we have no money and desperately need equipment to get IBA up and running. If you would like to contribute to our campaign, you can do so by clicking here. If you can’t contribute, please help us just by simply spamming anyone and everyone with a link to our gofundme site. If you have any questions, feel free to message me on twitter @CRAttire or on my personal account @cwsanders39.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The answer: “Either Sweden’s literacy rate is 100% or it’s not and they can’t count either.”

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