Forever Heel: Damien Sandow’s Dance Attack and TNA’s NOD

Columns, Top Story

First order of business is to tell you the results of, “Forever Heels Satisfaction Survey”, and you’ve given Forever Heel a 789% satisfaction rating. I’d like to thank WWE for showing that there’s no need to take polls when you can just make up results that make you look good. Honestly did the WWE fans really vote “Shawn kicking Marty through the window”, as the best turn ever? The Montreal Screw job was real, and Hulk Hogan ‘s heel turn was epic, and actually made Hogan awesome. Wait. I’m starting to get support for my opinions so let’s get on with the rundown.

For the past month Damien Sandow has been forced to dress up in these ridiculous outfits, and either wrestle, or get attacked by a face to garner some cheap face cheers. On Monday Damien decided to join Fandango in a tag match against the Usos. This was a solid match because Fandango, and Sandow we’re able to combine dancing and wrestling into something beautiful. Of course the performance was ruined by the Usos, and their bullying antics. At least JBL was able to salvage the match’s commentary, as Michael Cole praised the Usos frat boy behavior. Cole has spent most of his career intimidating the heel roster, and it needs to stop. He learned that from JR, and Kevin Kelly (The commentator, not the nice prison convict that went by the name Nailz). As usual King had nothing important to say, but it was JBL who truly saved this match. I don’t see Sandow and Fandango teaming in the future, but it was beautiful.

So back in TNA Land, MVP has turned into the heel boss of the company (even though Dixie Carter is the evil boss of the company?). Apparently MVP saw the error of pushing ROH talent, by pushing himself and Bobby Lashley. I’m not sure why he didn’t hire back D -Lo? The guy was in both versions of The Nation of Domination, The Gangstas, and Thuggin & Buggin Enterprises. That is the gold standard of black wrestling militancy. MVP, Kenny King, and Bobby Lashley have come together, and seem to be willing to attack other heels to meet their goals. Last week when Ethan Carter lost a 1st blood match for their team, MVP, Lashley, and King then attacked him for the loss. Since I’m rich and love Rockstar Spud, I’m going to have to call shenanigans on MVP’s faction. Also I get squeamish when th heels fight. It was good to see Dixie though. MVP will be taking on Eric Young (the bearded champ doesn’t need WWE approval to take a Shit) for the TNA WHC.  MVP hasn’t been able to stack

MVP will be taking on Eric Young (the bearded champ doesn’t need WWE approval to take a shit) for the TNA WHC.  MVP hasn’t been able to stack the deck against Young, as much as I would like. I’m still pulling for Monty Valle´ Pershing to win the belt. I see a MVP victory as a huge prestigious win. It would be like when Vince McMahon won the WWE Title. You know, the greatest week in the history of the belt? If MVP wins he could potentially buy WWE, and have WWE guys invade TNA. Wow! With MVP the possibilities are endless.

Seth Rollins finally gave us the answer to why he turned on the Shield, and it all made sense. Rollins was the Shield. Ambrose and Reigns can’t even put together a proper promo without Seth. I’d also recommend that Reigns cover up his tattoos. It looks unprofessional, that’s why Reigns will never be the face of the WWE.

The FH Heel of the Week is MVP. WWE didn’t have much of a heel presence this week, and MVP was beating up his allies, and forcing friends into crippling each other. He also gave Kenny King some authority, which was almost as reckless as leaving a child in the car when it’s 108°.

 

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.