RAGER’S 10 Thoughts: WWE RAW 6.16.2014 (Stardust, Stretcher Matches, Roman Reigns)

1. They really needed those 11 other people to help fill that stage at the top of the show. Roster was looking mighty thin. Also, I know this is small potatoes but why the hell did they bring Kane out just to stare at an ambulance before the commercial break if that particular match wasn’t next? Don’t get me wrong I was much happier to see a Rollins/Ziggler match when we came back. Also, there was a stretcher at the bottom of the ramp the entire night that was never used nor referenced (that I know of) for the remainder of the show until the main event.

2. I know there were a ton of jokes along the lines of “Teddy Long was fired too early and is probably yelling at his TV whenever The Usos, Wyatts and Sheamus were all in the ring together.” However, here at the RAGER offices, we hold ourselves to a higher standard. We don’t do jokes that have been run into the ground for so many years. So, I, the leader of the RAGERS, make this vow to each and every one of you reading this: I will never, I do mean never, make a Teddy Long tag team match joke ever on this column.

3. Everyone made the assumption that Shield quietly went their separate ways and instantly put Dean versus Rollins and Reigns part of a puke joke. I half expected the Schrodinger’s IWC (because people apparently still don’t know if it actually exists or not) to set internet-cars ablaze in the internet-streets because this is what Shield apparently disbanded for. However, I think the outcome of the battle royal prevented internet riots…more on that later.

4. The fact that Heath Slater worked as a face and actually got some offense in against Rusev was surprising…but then again, when you’re in a city in America, it’s not that difficult to get over with a pro-American stance. Does this mean big things for Heath down the road now that his band-mates are gone? Probably not, he’s kinda found a nice little home being a professional jobber.

5. You know what? I’m okay with the use of special guests these days. They happen very rarely and when it does, they’re kept to small, singular segments. It promotes whatever that guest is trying to hype and WWE gets the star power that Vince wetly dreams about every night (just joking, Vince never sleeps).

6. Roman being in the final of the battle royal with Rusev and then him winning were the only real moments the crowd was into this match, it seemed. Personally, I think everyone is a bit burnt out on battle royals but if you want to chalk it up to Cleveland citizens being dirtbags, then by all means.

7. Speaking of Rusev, he didn’t gain any more accessories this week but he did lose the battle royal. Does this mean his undefeated streak is over? Probably but that won’t stop Michael Cole from claiming he’s still undefeated in a few weeks. Watch, you know I’m right.

8. Everyone looked involved in the Divas match between Paige and Cameron looked confused. Part of it might be because Cameron is the worst or it might be a bit awkward that Cameron and Naomi are still using Brodus’ old music. Sure, they had been using said music exclusively once Brodus turned heel a few months ago but still, it kinda forced everyone to look at the elephant in the room in the eyes and compliment the owners of said room about their furniture.

9. I know a lot of people are not gonna be on-board with Stardust right off the bat and yes, this is Cody’s billionth chance that WWE has given him to get over…but I kinda dig this. At the core of it all, Cody’s main problem in all of his gimmicks was that he was the boring, sane member of the Rhodes family and he really didn’t get that much momentum as a singles wrestlers until he went a little crazy in the face mask thing. Now he has had this opportunity with his brother to kind of propel himself but he’ll need a new things. What’s the solution? take a page out of his brother’s book and go full crazy. Would it be him getting successful off of his brother’s gimmick? Sure, if it works and if it does, it’s not like a 45 year old Dustin Runnels is gonna need it for too much longer (unless he decides to work like his dad). I’m not saying that this is a sure-fire guarantee that Stardust is gonna be huge and he’ll be main eventing Wrestlemanias for the next 10 years because of it, I’m saying that Cody needed something to propel him because who knows how many more chances he’s gonna get so why not go full crazy? I dig the music, I dig that he’s leaning into the character and if this doesn’t work, nothing will and WWE should hand him his walking papers or put him in another tag team that barely gets camera time. But for now, I’m on-board.

And of course The Brothers of Seduction (you heard it here first…even though I stole it from somebody on reddit but the thread was deleted so it never happened) won against Ryback and Curtis Axel, they JUST participated in a battle royal just a few minutes prior. Those two goons were probably gassed the moment the bell rung.

10. There’s a reason a stretcher match hasn’t happened since 2008. It’s probably my least favorite match, I’ve decided, and I don’t really have an argument that’ll justify this decision other than “it’s so dumb.” Like, I can suspend my disbelief that maybe it really does take wrestlers that long to climb a ladder and fiddle with a hook but pushing an opponent beyond a finish line? Gtfo. Also, we know what happens when Cena is in an ambulance situation.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

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