First order of business is that I do almost everything through my tablet. I noticed that the billions of Forever Heel’s fan comments haven’t been showing up on my tablet. All this time I thought you just didn’t like the last three columns. Anyway I’m going to work all this out because a lot of you guys need heel magic in your lives.
Okay so I have a letter from Tim Buzzowski (not his real name) on Fb. He wants to set me straight on TNA…because he thinks I run TNA or something? I paraphrased basically because the guy kept referring to Dixie as the C-word, and he used too many swear words.
@CH Punk, you’re an idiot. TNA brought this on themselves by trying to compete with WWE. TNA should fold because the company is an embarrassment and a black mark on all its wrestlers. Most Indy wrestlers won’t join TNA because it’s a step down from places like ROH, and CZW. Indy wrestling is bigger than its ever been, and ROH has more fans than TNA. TNA doesn’t understand wrestling it’s run by a rich whore that treats the company like it’s her toy, so she can make herself famous on tv. As soon as Spike cancels Impact, they’ll sign ROH in a heartbeat. ROH will get a bigger budget and have a more of a professional look, thats better TNA’s and their three fans. You must be too new to understand how wrestling works, dude.
So anyway this guy needs a girlfriend.
Last Thursday WWE went nuts and released eight wrestlers and other Tv talent. We all think it has to do with the WWE stock dropping, and a report earlier this week that WWE wants to cut 20 million dollars this year. I’m sure this will be noticeable on Tv. So look for Adam Rose to be unpartied up, and Damien Sandow will need to win a few more basketball games. I think if WWE wants to make real money, they need a six-sided ring, or get the belt on every human in the WWE roster? There’s a gentleman that told me that having Heyman, Zeb, and Dusty write the shows will bring in billions. I’ve always found that Dusty Rhodes solves every problem.
Okay now to the released talent. I was really happy that WWE let White Kofi, Teddy Long, and Japanese Kofi go. Teddy Long made the worst tag matches. He could have learned a lot about making good matches from Willaim Regal. Regal made great tag matches, Al Snow vs. X-Pac, Albert, and Justin Credible was a great example of a real tag match. I also think Teddy Long would’ve saved his career if he would’ve just brought out The Key. It’s Teddy Long Day every day with The Key. He created Thuggin & Buggin Enterprises, a group that included Mark Henry, Jazz, Chris Harvard, D-Lo, and Rodney Mack. After a year of leadership Teddy went to SmackDown and became a full-time dope as the GM of SmackDown. Here Teddy abused his power and heavily favored jerks like Rey Mysterio. He will always go down in history as WWE’s worst GM.
Yoshi Tatsu was nothing to write home about. WWE didn’t need him because Seth Rollins is now the man with the cool bleached blonde streak in his hair. Wear it proudly, Seth.
I was never impressed by Evan Bourne , and his lack of real wrestling skills. A real wrestler doesn’t fly around the ring and attack their opponents. No, a real wrestler only uses the ropes for his feet during a pin, or to use if the Turnbuckle cover is missing. Fans hate high flyers, that’s why WWE let Jeff Hardy go. That’s why Hardy is booed so bad in TNA. Fans want a real talent, like Lex Luger. Besides Evan Bourne never drew a dime for this business. Hopefully WWE can bring in X-Pac to mentor these young guys about the business? Bottom line Bourne is nothing but a stoner loser.
Now for the sad losses Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre were let go. Probably only because of a mistake because these two are amazing talents, and without these two, Heath Slater is dangerously close to turning face. Besides without 3mb, who is Adam Rose going to feud with? You know it would’ve come to that?
Another sad loss was JTG, who in my mind…was he refereeing, or wrestling? Was he heel still? Oh well let’s move on.
Oksana was let go by Stephanie as a statement to Alicia Fox. This all went down after Alicia signed to a new guaranteed contract, and then tried to claim she had torn her quad when she found out she’d be losing to Paige. So this really is all Paige’s fault.
Kurt Hawkins and Camacho were also let go, and most people don’t care, but CH Punk is not most people. Kurt Hawkins was a real talent, and could’ve been a great heel. He nearly got a second break with Tyler Reks, but John Cena made sure the team went nowhere. Cena was overly jealous of Rek’s awesome dreads, and Hawkins’s plan for a Magic Mike gimmick because only Cena can play the fratboy naked dope in WWE. Camacho was let go after Hunico and Sin Cara started a bromance and got matching tattoos.
Finally the sadest release in history. The end of Brodus Clay. He will never wrestle again, and most likely return to Gotham city where he was a local crime boss, and thorn in the side of Batman. A few months ago it seemed like Brodus was heading in the right direction. He fired those stupid chicks, and his partner, White Japanese Rusev. I forget that guys name, but Brodus rightly ditched him.
Speaking of heel turns…? MVP again. Look I’ll pick a WWE guy when WWE has a real heels. MVP has been on the second week of his rampage. He’s attacking refs, threatening employees, and still bad mouthing Dixie Carter. He’s the perfect example of a ruthless villain. Honorary mention goes to Seth Rollins for keeping himself away from Dean Ambrose’ revenge. Fans can’t stand it when a heel doesn’t get his comeuppance. Especially if the heel is perceived as weaker, and Seth was the runt of the Shield.
