Forever Heel: Chris Jericho Who?

Columns, Top Story

Raw wasn’t as heelicious this week, but that’s why we have good old reliable TNA. TNA will always be heel dominated because they don’t know how to book good faces. You literally could see any TNA employee turning heel for no reason. Now the shows are solid enough these days, but it’s only a matter of time before it goes bananas. At least TNA has Dixie and Rockstar Spud. I know most of you believe Dixie is a God among the wrestling world, but I assure you she’s just a wonderful humanbeing. I’m hoping Lashley will see the light and join Team Dixie. WWE really lost out by letting the Lashmaster go. If you don’t know Lashley was fired by WWE for nearly becoming the first African-American WWE champ. Rock doesn’t count for some reason, even though he totally counts.

I’m disturbed by the fact that WWE only has one active rich heel on the roster. I’m not even sure if Alberto is still using it as a gimmick? JBL is a great guy, but he can only carry the line for so long. I can’t understand it because rich wrestlers make the best wrestlers. Maybe they can have a storyline where Big Show wins the Lottery and becomes, Big Money? Might as well, Big Show ‘s only gimmick is that he’s big, and that he likes to punch people sometimes. WWE could have Truth Martini manage him as, Edge and Christian’s third brother. He’d be called, Corrbet. Instant rich heel. I told you guys I could run WWE better than Dixie. (Yeah, I said it.)

I have no idea if I’m supposed to like AJ, or Paige. I’m just going to continue to cheer Alicia Fox and her awesome self. She’s all that and a bag of chips. I think it’s cool that she throws shit around and takes JBL’s hat because if JBL is going to be rich then he shouldn’t remind us he comes from Texas. Do people still live in Texas? I know JBL got smart and moved to NYC. So really the best part of Texas is gone. Oh right, I’m supposed to be talking about the Divas. Yeah I’m done.

So Miz and Jericho returned to the ring on Monday and I’m thinking the fans forgot who they were? Miz got no reaction. Which is bullshit, and Jericho wasn’t given anything near a hero’s welcome. I thought Canadian wrestlers get over cheered in Canada? Canada used to cheer Brits, North American Asians, and Farooq. Damn? Listen my northern brothers, if you don’t cheer International stars then HBK wins. When HBK wins then Kevin Nash wins. And when Nash wins, Antonio Inoki cries.

I know Vickie was great but she really did soil the Guerrero name. I’m glad that Hector called her on that because a Guerrero would never embarrass themselves the way Vickie did. I’d hate to have to sit across the table at Hector at the Guerrero family’s thanksgiving holiday dinner. Vickie will feel so awkward having to see Chavo Jr and Hector, two men who kept their integrity throughout their careers, and deserve to look down their nose at her. How dare Vickie exploit her name to break into the wrestling biz, that’s just not done.

The heel of the week is, Seth Rollins.  I am leaving you a list of pro-wrestling’s greatest big men.

5) 911
4)Khali
3) Giant Silva
2)El Gigante
1)Big Sal

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.