RAGER’S 10 Thoughts: WWE Raw 7.21.14 (Bray Wyatt, Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman)

1. HHH aiming all of his anger at Schrodinger’s IWC but really, the core (where everyone is equal) of it all comes from him simply wanting to be wined and dined. HHH wants his employees to jump through hoops for his affection. Really, isn’t that what everyone wants?

2. I want a giant cardboard cut-out of the dude’s face when he reacted to Brie calling Stephanie a bitch. Seriously, whomever can provide that to me, contact me and we’ll work something out. I might send you a signed picture. A picture of what? Just you wait.

3. I can’t tell if they turned Bo Dallas face or if WWE just meshed the weekly mandatory Bo Dallas segment in with the weekly mandatory Damien Sandow costume segment. I have a feeling it’s the latter although Bo has managed to find a way to get a chuckle out of me almost every week now.

4. I gotta hand it to Bray, he’s finding different ways to delivering the same promo every week. Don’t get me wrong, I’m probably one of the biggest Bray Wyatt marks on this site but I’m ready for him to tackle some new material but I’m not exactly sure what that would consist of.

5. I don’t really have anything funny to say but I would like to point out that both Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder won their respective matches and state that we are, in fact, in the year 2014. Feels weird, right?

6. It took WWE this long to realize that putting guys in suits and calling them detectives is a lot more believable than dressing up local talent as obviously fake street cops. Also, the guy reading Stephanie her Miranda Rights was a good touch. Also, WWE found a way to smoothly transition from an awful Flo Rida concert into a meaningful segment. I would say kudos to WWE for this but they did put up a Flo Rida concert to begin with so all thoughts of kudos have been thoroughly retracted.

7. Even if they don’t call it Nation of Domination 2.0 or even anything NoD related, I’m so glad that this stable is apparently happening. First of all, Woods was great in the promo and would be a great mouthpiece for them. Secondly, if we actually get heel Kofi out of this, I’m automatically calling this a win just for the simple fact that he would be doing something different. And finally, we’ve already seen that Big E is a great silent heel muscle character when he was AJ’s bodyguard/friend. As I’ve said before, the only way to make this even better is if Ron Simmons joins (maybe not all the time, but once every few weeks. I don’t wanna be greedy) as their manager/mentor/godfather (not the pimp) figure. Some people said it would be a nice touch if Mark Henry joined to link them to the original Nation but please don’t. Please…don’t.

8. For a second, I honestly thought Khali was gonna forget to tap.

9. Cesaro wants to be a HHH guy now. I say they go ahead and make Cesaro WWE’s version of Jason Statham and have him be HHH’s wheelman/bodyguard/mercenary/wheelman/wheelman/adrenaline-starved-maniac-with-a-heart-condition/wheelman that also can completely maul people. I’m pretty sure WWE could get Audi as a sponsor.

10. So Bork vs Cena was horrible telegraphed/spoiled weeks ago but I’m still completely excited for this. Their first match-up at Extreme Rules 2012 was fantastic even if the wrong man won but even if that wasn’t enough for you to get excited about part 2, Paul Heyman’s promo alone should’ve gotten you hoping around your living room like Brock. Seriously, Heyman shouldn’t have a voice right now and if he does, the military needs to run studies and tests to find out what exactly his vocal chords are made up and harvest it like unobtainium.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

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