The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 11.21.94
Taped from the Fernwood Country Club in Bushkill yet again.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jim Cornette and the worst green screen intro ever. An HDTV is not kind to this sort of thing.
Razor Ramon v. Diesel
No wait, the Teamsters all jump Ramon and attack him during the entrance, so the match is apparently off.
Tatanka v. Chris Canyon
Canyon now has his trademark beard, but it still doesn’t help him as Tatanka chops him down and drops an elbow for two. A clothesline gives us a 180 sell from Canyon as he’s obviously trying to make the most of this. More chops, but Canyon comes back with a bodypress and a crucifix for two before Tatanka cuts him off. Canyon keeps coming with a sunset flip for two, but Tatanka beats him down again and goes up to finish with a flying chop and Papoose to Go at 4:36. I’m really surprised they didn’t give it a go with Canyon at this point, since he had a good look and they obviously liked him enough to give him some offense.
Adam Bomb v. Jason Ahrnedt
Speaking of which, they could have repackaged Canyon into Adam Bomb’s wacky brother “Stink Bomb.” Or he could be a Hollywood type, “Box Office Bomb”. Maybe disgruntled postal carrier “Letter Bomb”? This is all gold, people, GOLD. Adam with the usual power stuff and clotheslines before finishing with the Meltdown at 2:25. Jim Cornette is just on fire here on commentary.
Speaking of being on fire, Todd recaps the Jerry Lawler-Doink feud, because I wish everyone involved would die in a fire. This leads to a King’s Court with the midget kings. Sadly, no one can die in any fires, because the clown midgets “prank” them by squirting water guns from ringside. OH THE HILARITY. OH MY SIDES, THEY’RE SPLITTING.
Meanwhile, IRS recaps his war against dead tax cheats for the past month. Now he’s actually digging up the corpse. Fitting, because this feud died around the country.
IRS v. Matt Hardy
Hey, there’s someone who probably COULD use a good auditing. IRS pounds on the poor young jobber and tosses him. Poor kid is so stupid that he has “HV” on his tights instead of his own initials. Maybe he was trying for “HPV”? Back in, Irwin stomps away after the abdominal stretch and the Writeoff finishes at 3:00. Well, this kid is no Keith Davis.
Razor Ramon v. Diesel
The entire roster of Survivor Series teams is at ringside so you can probably guess how this one ends. Slugfest to start, and it’s interesting that just watching these shows you get no sense of how hot Diesel was getting or that there was even a breakup with Shawn brewing. Just watching RAW it’s like “They’re the tag champions and everything is fine” and then suddenly one week, BAM, “Diesel is #1 babyface and WWF champion”. Diesel with the sleeper and he dumps Ramon as we take a break. Back with Ramon making the comeback, but Shawn trips him up and a donnybrook is teased. Back in, Ramon with a corner clothesline, but Diesel puts him down with a sideslam for two. Big boot gets two. Diesel works on the back and Snake Eyes gets two. Shawn continues to stir the pot, but Ramon makes the comeback as the heels start getting involved. And inevitably, the bell is rung at 13:24. Usual good match from the Outsiders, minus a finish. ***
Next week: Some crazy shit goes down after the PPV.
