We are less than two weeks away from SummerSlam, or SummerFest as Jeremy Piven might call it. All three of the key players in the WWE Title Match won’t be there. But Paul Heyman did promise a candid, unscripted interview from Brock Lesnar. And to the surprise of no one, The Authority will start the show.
Triple H: The Ultimate Troll
All of The Authority came out to start the show. HHH said he isn’t the guy to pat himself on the back, but he is going to now. He said he thinks this could be the biggest SummerSlam ever. HHH listed a couple matches, then plugged the WWE Network in between. It seemed like a pretty good troll job. HHH said Dean Ambrose will take on Alberto del Rio later tonight, and Seth Rollins will take on Rob Van Dam. And whoever wins their match the quickest in the Beat the Clock Challenge will get to pick the stipulation for their match. Steph then talked about her contract signing later and said if Brie gets out of line she will put her in a hospital bed right next to her husband. HHH said that you can catch it on the WWE Network again for $9.99 a month. Randy Orton then took the mic and said that he looks forward to beating down Roman Reigns and you can still see the marks on the table from his beatdown last week.
Roman Reigns then came through the crowd. Reigns said that he took a beatdown from Orton last week but he is still standing there. Reigns then said that he was going to come down there and kick Randy Orton’s ass for free. HHH said Orton gets Reigns at SummerSlam, but Reigns gets to fight Kane tonight in a Last Man Standing Match.
Kane’s Wig Has Seen Better Days
The match started back from break. Kane hit a DDT. Kane hit a couple of uppercuts in the corner then a clothesline, but Reigns caught Kane with a boot then came back with a clothesline of his own. They went to the outside where Reigns slammed Kane’s head into the announce table then threw Kane into the steps. Reigns then jumped off the steps and hit a clothesline. Reigns slammed Kane into the barricade, but Kane reversed Reigns and tossed him into the steps. Kane placed the steps upright in front of the ramp but Reigns blocked an attempt to get thrown into the steps and Reigns tossed Kane into the barricade again. Kane got up at 6 then tossed Reigns into the barricade. Kane got a kendo stick and nailed Reigns multiple times with it. Reigns recovered and tossed Kane over the barricade into commercial.
Back from break Reigns reversed Kane and tossed him into a chair set up in the corner. Reigns hit a couple clotheslines then his apron dropkick. Kane rolled to the outside where Reigns tossed Kane into the steps. Reigns grabbed a table and tossed it into the ring. Kane came from behind and took out Reigns, then set up a table in the ring. Reigns caught a charging Kane and hit a Samoan Drop. Reigns went for a Superman Punch but Kane caught him and chokeslammed Reigns through the table. Reigns got up at 9. Kane went for a Tombstone on the chair but Reigns escaped and hit a DDT on the chair. Reigns connected on the Superman Punch. Kane blocked a Spear attempt and went for a chokeslam, but Reigns escaped and hit a Spear. Kane didn’t get up before ten and Reigns picked up the win.
WINNER: Roman Reigns
Brock Lesnar/John Cena video promo. He said he didn’t care who the f*** was in his way, he came back to be WWE Champion. He doesn’t respect anyone and he doesn’t care who he pisses off. He said he didn’t get why people were surprised that he beat The Undertaker. Cena came on and said he didn’t like talking about his accomplishments, and he likes to look forward and not back. Lesnar said he’s going to tear Cena apart limb from limb and it is going to be ugly. He said if he hadn’t left there would be no John Cena and Cena would be buying Fruity Pebbles instead of being on the box. Cena said Lesnar is a hired mercenary who only cares about himself. Lesnar said he is going to leave Cena in a pile of blood, urine and vomit.
Damien Sandow came out in an Oklahoma shirt (the show is in Texas). He ripped on the Longhorns before Mark Henry came out and made quick work of him.
Dean Ambrose’s Taped Shoulder Is This Generation’s DDP’s Taped Ribs
Dean Ambrose vs Alberto del Rio. Del Rio landed a dropkick. Ambrose backed Del Rio into the corner and landed some punches. Del Rio then tossed Ambrose into the corner and hit an enziguri kick. Del Rio landed some more kicks but Ambrose came right back with some more punches. Del Rio rolled to the outside and tossed Ambrose into the barricade. Del Rio hit a clothesline off the top. Del Rio landed another kick to the head and tossed Ambrose into the ringpost. Del Rio started to work over the injured arm of Ambrose. Ambrose reversed Del Rio on the outside and tossed him into the barricade. He followed it up with a suplex on the floor. Back in the ring Ambrose landed some punches and a couple clotheslines. Ambrose went for a tilt-a-whirl DDT off the second rope but Del Rio tossed him away then hit a kick to the head into commercial.
Del Rio worked over Ambrose’s injured arm back from break and then hit a DDT. Del Rio went to kick Ambrose’s head into the post but Ambrose moved, then hit a dive to the outside. Ambrose hit a missile dropkick in the ring. He connected on a tornado DDT for two. Del Rio tossed Ambrose into the corner then hit a reverse DDT/suplex off the second rope for two. Ambrose recovered and went for Dirty Deeds but Del Rio countered and hit an armdrop then an armbreaker in the ropes. Del Rio went for the cross armbreaker but Ambrose countered and hit Dirty Deeds for the win.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose
This Is Leading To President Obama vs Rusev At Wrestlemania Isn’t It?
Rusev defeated Sin Cara during the break on the WWE App. Lana then sang Happy Birthday to President Obama in Russian. Jack Swagger and Zeb came out. He said he now gets why Russian men drink so much. Zeb said he is sick of hearing about Vladimir Putin, Mother Russia and Rusev Crush. He said at SummerSlam they will be fighting every Real American in the world. After the “We the People” Lana got in Zeb’s face, so Rusev attacked Swagger with the flag. Rusev eyed down Zeb but Lana stopped him and did a mocking “We the People.”
How The Once Promising Have Fallen
It’s Cesaro vs Dolph Ziggler. Cesaro caught Ziggler with a quick boot to the face. Dolph recovered and went for a splash in the corner but Cesaro caught him and hit a backbreaker for two. Dolph went for a small package but Cesaro stopped it and went for a suplex. Cesaro showed off his strength but Ziggler escaped and hit the ZigZag for the win.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
After the match Miz posed in the ring with the IC Title belt. Ziggler went for a superkick but Miz quickly moved away.
Paige was interviewed. She wished AJ well and said she can’t wait to face her idol and best friend at SummerSlam.
Goldust and Stardust made quick work of Rybaxel.
Kane walked into The Authority’s office, took off the mask and handed it to Stephanie McMahon.
Have To Save Time For That Contract Signing
It’s Chris Jericho vs Luke Harper. Harper went to work early on Jericho with some blows. Jericho fought back with some Flair chops but Harper came right back with a clothesline. He followed up with some elbows. Jericho escaped a press slam and connected on an enziguri kick. Jericho hit some kicks to the chest but Harper came back with a Michinoku Driver for two. Harper placed Jericho on the top but Jericho pushed him away. He missed an axe handle off the top and Harper connected on a boot for two. Harper connected on a powerbomb but only got two again. Harper tossed Jericho into the corner but Jericho hit him with an elbow then a running bulldog. Jericho dropkicked Rowan off the apron then applied the Walls of Jericho to Harper. The lights went out and Bray Wyatt then appeared at the ramp. Jericho caught Rowan with a Codebreaker. Harper hit Jericho from behind but Jericho came back with another Codebreaker. Bray Wyatt then came in the ring and took out Jericho, and finished it off with Sister Abigail. Luke Harper is now banned from ringside for Bray and Jericho’s SummerSlam match.
WINNER via DQ: Chris Jericho
Diego beat Fandango. Hornswoggle was Fandango’s new dance partner but after the match he joined up with Diego, El Torito, Layla and Summer Rae.
Randy Orton was interviewed. He said Roman Reigns better keep his head on a swivel because he is going to kick it off.
Bo Dallas beat R-Truth in a quick match with a roll-up while holding the tights. R-Truth went after him after the match but Bo Dallas got the upper hand and hit the Bo-Dog on the floor.
Bray Wyatt promo. He said he is the Nightmare at the end of Chris Jericho’s dream.
THIS ONE WAS FOR JINDER AND DREW!
Before RVD vs Seth Rollins started, Justin Roberts announced that per The Authority, RVD would not be Rollins opponent. Instead, it was Heath Slater. Rollins offered Slater the opportunity to just walk out and leave but instead Slater went after Rollins. Rollins quickly recovered and went to work on Slater with some kicks. Dean Ambrose came down to ringside to distract Rollins. Slater hit a neckbreaker and got two. Ambrose took the MITB briefcase then ripped the contract up. Slater then hit a spinning heel kick but only got two. Ambrose the took a drink and poured it in the briefcase. He put some popcorn in there as well along with JBL’s hat. Ambrose stood on the announce table with the briefcase. Slater rolled up Rollins to pick up the win.
WINNER: Heath Slater
Brie and Stephanie McMahon contract signing. Triple H said normally when an icon steps out of retirement for a contract signing he presides over it, but since that icon is his wife and mother of his children he had to step aside. He said he’s there tonight as a loving and proud husband. Brie asked for them to hurry up before they all puked. Steph said Brie should know about supportive spouses and asked where her hippy dippy husband was. Brie asked if Steph was recovered from her arrest. Brie said she was going to embarrass Steph in front of the entire WWE Universe and show that Steph is a fraud, failure and embarrassment to the McMahon Family. Brie listed a bunch of people Steph has wronged and the crowd broke out into a CM Punk chant. Brie said karma always comes back to haunt people.
Steph said that she’s sure all those people she named would be thrilled to know that she is representing them. Steph said that Brie is nothing more than a wannabe reality star. Steph said she is embarrassed to be in the same ring as Brie and is going to put an end to her attempt to make history. Steph said she is going to tear Brie’s heart out at SummerSlam. Steph then slapped Nikki as HHH blocked Brie from helping by pushing her into the corner behind the table. Steph hit a Pedigree on Nikki. Brie slapped HHH then went for Steph but Steph slammed Brie’s head on the table and then hit a Pedigree on her. Steph then made out with HHH to close the show.
WHAT I LIKED
Brock Lesnar/John Cena Video Package: Once again, another great job by the WWE Production Team. With both guys not on RAW, they still did a good job of building up the match and making it feel like a big fight. I like how Lesnar just came off so nonchalant about kicking Cena’s ass, as if it was just another day for him. If they make video packages like that for all of Lesnar’s Title reign, it’ll be fun to watch.
Kane vs Roman Reigns: Perfectly acceptable TV match between these two. A one-on-one singles match probably wouldn’t have been as good. The Last Man Standing gimmick made it better to watch. Neither guy is a technical wrestler so adding weapons helped. I’m assuming Kane took off his mask to begin the promotion of his new movie.
Dean Ambrose vs Alberto del Rio: Another good TV match here. This is what I wanted from RAW when it went to three hours: 3 or 4 10-15 minute TV matches every week that make the show watchable. Ambrose and Del Rio are both good wrestlers. It’s just a shame that Del Rio has fallen so far down the totem pole.
Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs Heath Slater: That was a fun segment. Ambrose was great as usual. And it doesn’t matter about it taking away from the match. The point was Ambrose getting back at The Authority for trying to make things easy for Rollins and being the pain in the ass thorn in The Authority’s side.
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE
Cesaro vs Dolph Ziggler: So in one week’s time, Cesaro goes from losing to John Cena in a competitive match where it took an AA off the second rope to win, to losing to Dolph Ziggler in less than two minutes. Here’s where they could have had another 10-15 minute match and maybe have Cesaro lose via botched Miz interference. It’s a damn shame the WWE has no idea what to do with Cesaro. I would have never thought I would complain after a Dolph Ziggler win but it didn’t really do anything for Cesaro, or even Ziggler really here.
Steph/Brie Bella Contract Signing: I didn’t like this closing the show two weeks in a row. They could have put Roman Reigns/Kane here. The acting was bad this week from both of them. Everything about it just felt weird. It still has some heat behind it but it might have lost a little this week.
$9.99: If you did a shot every time during the show they mentioned the price of the WWE Network, your Blood Alcohol Level would be 9.99. It was funny at first when HHH was doing it as an obvious troll job, but the troll job reached annoying as hell levels by the end of the show. I bet they might have even lost some subscribers because of it. The problem with the WWE is that they don’t know when to stop.
Chris Jericho/Bray Wyatt: Surprisingly, this is the match I might be least excited for on the SummerSlam card. The build just doesn’t seem like anything different. I think they will have a good match but the build up to it is just off. People are talking about Cesaro losing a lot of steam, but I think Bray has lost some too.
No Usos or Sheamus: For the second week in a row we do not see Sheamus and this week no Usos. That is almost unacceptable on a three hour show. Especially with an act as over as The Usos.
This RAW seemed very much like a place holder show before one final big push for SummerSlam next week. There was some good wrestling on the show but nothing outstanding. I’m going to give the show a 4.