The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 11.28.94
Live from Poughkeepsie, NY. Are there only three arenas they cycle through this year?
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler
So big changes are afoot, as Bret Hart dropped the WWF title to Bob Backlund at Survivor Series, and Bob got crushed by Diesel three days later to kick off the lowest drawing era of the company in their history. So good times!
Owen Hart v. John Paul
Paul’s longtime partner, George Ringo, is notably absent this evening. Owen with a dropkick and leg lariat and this “arena” looks ridiculously empty on every shot but the standard hard camera. Like if it was an indy like ROH it would be acceptable but this is supposed to be the #1 company. It’s just embarrassing. Owen with a couple of suplexes and he pounds away in the corner and follows with the Owenzuigiri and some choking. Owen puts him away with the Sharpshooter at 4:00.
Survivor Series: You won’t see it on the networks! Well that’s no longer true.
Adam Bomb v. IRS
Who really thought that IRS would be a viable opponent for Undertaker? Because now you know that he’s gonna go through Bomb to set him up for Taker. This was supposed to be his big singles push and we got the same formulaic shit matches from him and boring promos. Only in Vince’s mind are people being harassed by the IRS as tax cheats part of the cultural zeitgeist. “Oh man, don’t you hate it when the government questions your corporate tax loopholes, dude?” Bomb manages to overpower Irwin to start, but he stops to gawk at Dibiase and gets tossed. Back in, IRS with a back elbow for two and we hit the chinlock. Just as things heat up, we take a break and return with the abdominal stretch and another chinlock. Bomb makes the comeback with clotheslines, but he goes up and a mysterious druid trips him up so that IRS can get the cheap pin at 9:51. Dull and heatless. *
Bob Holly v. Tony Devito
Holly throws the dropkick and follows with a powerslam, but Devito comes back with a clothesline in the corner. Back elbow gets two. Devito pounds away in the corner, but a blind charge hits boot and Holly finishes with the flying clothesline at 2:48.
Meanwhile, Henry Godwinn is coming. Just accept it.
Lex Luger v. Bert Centino
Luger with some hiptosses, but he misses an elbow and the jobber goes to work on the back. That ends quickly as Luger puts him down with a clothesline and finishes with the REBEL RACK at 2:10.
Diesel is out with the WWF title for the first time, and he’s immediately playing the smiling babyface doofus and ditching everything that got him over in the first place.
The Heavenly Bodies v. Gary Scott & Buck Quartermaine
The jobbers actually do pretty well against Pritchard, but the Doctor suplexes Scott and the camera is mostly focused on Bob Backlund’s commentary job anyway. He will procure the chicken wing on all of us! Del Ray pins someone with something at 3:40. Bob promises to procure the chicken wing on Vince before he retires and then storms off to end the show.
Next week: Jeff Jarrett v. British Bulldog, which actually features an important debut! Welcome to the Diesel Power era! Ringside tickets are much cheaper in this era.
