Whoa! Who the heck is this Rhett guy? Didn’t he use to work here as a columnist? Doesn’t he do the Roundtables and PPV Live Coverage (most of the time)? What is he doing on a report called ‘Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report?’ Well, this week I will be filling in for the exquisite writer David Spain. Now let’s see… Rey Mysterio and The Undertaker are the top dogs on this show right?
We open the show with the basic although-not-sure-if-I-like-it theme song of Dean Ambrose. He comes out to the ring and JBL complains about Dean filling his hat with popcorn and soda while we get a Raw recap of it. How about Heath Slater winning on Raw?! That’s more of a surprise than Ryder winning a few weeks ago.
Dean Ambrose says that the Authority thought they held all the cards on Monday, but they can’t plan for Dean Ambrose. Dean says since he beat Seth Rollins on Raw in the Beat The Clock challenge so he gets to pick the stipulation. Ambrose lists off some of the matches they could have including a ‘JBL Hat on the Pole Match’ and have alligators around the ring. He also says they could have a ‘Loser Washes Triple H’s Car’ match, but Seth probably already does that. Seth Rollins interrupts him and stands on the stage. Seth calls Dean the unstable one of The Shield and himself the brains. Seth gives Dean some credit for Monday’s events. Seth tells him to name the stipulation. Dean introduces Mr. Money in the Bank and says the briefcase looks rough. Seth says that Dean isn’t going to beat him at SummerSlam. Seth says the stipulation doesn’t matter and it will be the end of Dean Ambrose. Seth says the people can get to see that at SummerSlam for the low price of $9.99. Dean says the people aren’t going to pay to see Seth run. Dean says if Seth tries to run, he’ll run into a wall of bodies. Dean Ambrose says their match will be a Lumberjack Match. Dean Ambrose says that SummerSlam is the day Mr. Money in the Bank goes broke. Seth says he’s not going anywhere. Seth says no matter what happens at SummerSlam he will still be Mr. Money in the Bank. Seth says The Authority has given him the right to pick Dean’s opponent for tonight. He picks Randy Orton. Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose. Could be a fun main event.
Monday is Hulk Hogan’s birthday bash. That’ll be fun.
Mark Henry & Big Show vs. Rybaxel
First time we’ve seen Big Show in awhile and I’ve actually missed the big lug a little bit. Maybe he’ll do a Hulk Hogan imitation on Monday. Henry and Axel start this off. Axel moves around Henry and mocks Axel by moving slowly then rolls out of the ring when Henry charges. Axel rolls back in and Henry catches him with some clubbing blows. Axel looks stunned and tags in Ryback. Ryback tells Henry to hit him. They lock up and Henry flings him back. Ryback is smirking and pushes Henry. Henry pushes him back. Henry rams Ryback in the corner. Henry whips Ryback across the ring. He flings him off the rope. Henry picks him up for the World’s Strongest Slam, but Axel chop blocks Henry. They double team for a minute before Ryback hits some knees to Henry. Ryback teases a powerbomb, but Henry flings him over. Show tags in, hits some clotheslines and a big boot. He flings Ryback to Henry for the WSM and hits a big Chokeslam on Curtis Axel for the pin.
Winners: The Big Show & Mark Henry
Dolph Ziggler is in the back with Rosa Mendes, Eva Marie, and Adam Rose. Seth comes up and calls Dolph’s career a joke. Seth says he’s going to pick his own opponent for tonight as well. Dolph says that sounds like a challenge. Seth says you bet your ass it’s a challenge.
JBL and Michael Cole hype the WWE Network.
Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow (as a Border Patrol Officer)
They lock up and Sandow hits some big blows to Sin Cara’s face. Sandow goes for the Elbow of Disdain. He locks in the side headlock. Cara fights out and hits a springboard body splash times three. He hits a tiltawhirl armdrag. Sandow hits a backdrop for two. Sandow goes for the full nelson, but it’s reversed into an Angle Slam. Sin Cara hits a Senton Bomb for the three count.
Winner: Sin Cara
JBL and Cole hype Occulus and discuss Brock vs. Cena. Video package of Brock vs. Cena. I know Mr. Spain loves those.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Dolph Ziggler is fighting The Miz at SummerSlam. They lock up with vigor. Seth hits some elbows on Dolph in the corner. He flings Dolph across the ring by his hair. Seth throws Dolph on his neck on the top rope. Seth locks in a camel clutch. Dolph fights back but Seth stops him with the Triple Vertical. Seth chokes Dolph on the second rope. Seth locks in a side headlock. Dolph fights up and hits a big jawbreaker. Dolph ducks a clothesline and hits some big drop kicks. He goes for the Fameasser, but Seth throws him over the top rope onto the floor.
Dolph is pounding on Seth as we come back, but Seth hits a kick to Dolph’s jaw. Seth rubs Dolph’s face on the mat. Seth goes outside and hits blows to Dolph’s body laid over the edge. He kicks Dolph to knock him back in the ring. Seth gets back in and toys with Dolph. Seth stomps on Dolph’s head on the bottom rope. He continues to taunt Ziggler. Ziggler goes off the ropes, but eats a big elbow for two. Side headlock and Dolph pushes Seth into the corner to break it up. Dolph hits some drop kicks and a big Splash in the corner. Dolph goes for the 10 count in the corner. Dolph hits a neckbreaker for two. Dolph hits a belly to back suplex for two. They exchange blows and Dolph splashes down on Seth for two. Dolph goes for a corner splash and misses. Seth goes for a suplex, but Dolph rolls him up for two. They trade blows, Seth goes off the ropes, but eats a big high-impact DDT from Dolph for two. Dolph goes for the ZigZag, but Seth rolls him up for two. Seth pulls Dolph’s head down on the top rope. Seth is on the apron and goes for the springboard knee, but Dolph dodges and hits the Fameasser. Dolph pounds away on Seth, but Seth kicks Dolph’s knee and throws him between the top and second rope into the ringpost. Dolph falls to the floor. Seth goes outside and picks him up and throws him into the barricade. Seth asks what’s funny now? Seth throws Dolph into the steel steps. The referee continues to count. Seth picks up Dolph and rolls him in. Seth is getting cocky now. Seth taunts Dolph and screams at him. Seth Rollins hits the Curb Stomp and gets the three count.
Winner: Seth Rollins
Randy Orton is in the back with Renee Young. She asks him about his match tonight. Orton says Ambrose is unstable, but he is uncontrollable. Orton says he doesn’t even know what he’ll do when he gets his hand on Ambrose. Orton says that he is the most unstable.
Natalya vs. Paige
Paige skips to the ring. They recap last week where AJ is pushed off the stage by Paige. Paige pushes Natalya. Nattie slaps her. Nattie hits a double arm suplex. Natalya locks in the sharpshooter. Paige crawls to the ropes and pulls the ring skirt when Nattie pulls her back. Paige hits the Paige Turner on the outside and screams at Natalya. Paige skips around the ring. Nattie barely makes it back in. Nattie tries to roll up Paige, but it’s only two. Paige slaps Nattie hard and locks in the Paige Tap Out. Nattie obliges and taps.
Rusev is on his way to the ring when he’s interrupted by an All American…
Big E is in the ring when we return.
Big E vs. Rusev
Rusev pounds away at Big E and Big E responds back with some. Rusev throws him in the corner and hits some big kicks. Rusev strikes Big E in the face taking him to the mat. Rusev is yelling at Big E. Big E stops Rusev’s charge with an elbow. Big E hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Big E goes for the running splash and misses. Rusev locks in The Accolade and Big E taps.
Chris Jericho is backstage and says that Bray Wyatt is a virus in the WWE. He says he has the antidote to the poison and it’s spelled Y2J. Jericho says he’s going to grab the buzzards and stuff them down Bray’s throat.
JBL and Cole discuss the WWE Network going global for… $9.99.
They show a Raw Rebound for the Brie Bella vs. Stephanie feud.
Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton
They circle around. Orton kicks Dean, but Dean throws him in the corner and hits some strikes. Orton goes outside to collect himself before coming back in to be put in a headlock. They do some reversals and Dean ties up Orton’s legs and claws Orton’s traps. Ambrose hits a running elbow on to Orton for three. Dean wraps Orton’s arms around him, but Orton reverses out and boot him to the chest. Orton stomps on Ambrose’s leg in the corner. Dean pulls himself up and unloads on Randy’s face. (Heh) Ambrose launches himself over the top rope on to Orton.
Ambrose is hitting headbutts, but Orton whips him hard into the corner hard. Orton begins dissecting Dean. Orton headbutts and strikes Ambrose in the corner. Dean comes back, but Orton targets the injured arm of Dean. Orton has an armlock on Dean. Dean says why don’t you put some pressure on it. Orton obliges. Dean fights up and headbutts Orton. Orton kicks him, whips him into the rope, but Dean hits a DDT. The ref begins counting, but they get up and Dean punches Orton’s face. Dean is a house of fire and hits some big punches to Orton’s face. Dean rams Orton in the corner, rakes his eyes, and hits a big swinging DDT from the top rope for a two count. Dean goes for Dirty Deeds, but Orton reverses. Orton gets flung outside. Dean runs toward the ropes and Orton punches him! Orton pulls him outside and starts flinging him into the steel steps. Orton pulls Dean to the apron and goes for the drapped DDT, but Dean flings Orton over the top rope. Dean hits a suicide dive. They come back in, Orton punches Dean, Dean bounces back from the ropes for a big clothesline. Seth distracts Dean for Orton to set up the RKO. He reverses and hits Dirty Deeds. He goes for the cover, but Seth pulls him out. Seth beats up on Dean until they roll back in. Orton hits an RKO on Dean and Seth pounds away on Dean. Seth steals a lady’s drink and climbs back into the ring. Seth pours it on Dean’s face. Seth says at SummerSlam it’s the end for Dean. Seth hits a nasty Curb Stomp. Seth rips off Dean’s shirt and stands tall as SmackDown comes to a close.
Winner: (by DQ) Dean Ambrose
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Tags: Big E, big show, Bray Wyat, Bray Wyatt, Brock Lesnar, chris jericho, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, David Spain, dean ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, john cena, Lana, Mark Henry, Natalya, Paige, randy orton, rusev, ryback, Rybaxel, seth rollins, sin cara, Smackdown, WWE, WWE Smackdown