The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 05.22.95
What is the deal with the 98 era RAWs on the Network where the graphic has “Viewer discretion advised” plastered across it? There’s two versions of each of those shows in the archives, and both are rated TV-14 with the ominous parental warning at the beginning. Was there extra nudity and swearing or something?
Taped from Binghamton NY.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler.
Razor Ramon v. Mike Bell
So as Vince brings up on commentary, this was the week where they did the completely random Jarrett-Ramon IC title switch in Quebec, which I’m assuming was some sort of political deal relating to the nasty promotional war with the Rougeaus at the time. Bell tries a hammerlock and gets rebuffed as apparently Ramon has qualified for the KOTR in between shows, beating Jacob Blu. Yeah, that’s what the roster was like at this point. Corner clothesline and blockbuster slam set up an STF, as Ramon tortures the poor jobber to amuse Savio Vega. Chokeslam and Razor’s Edge finish at 4:15.
Bret Hart joins us at ringside and he wants Jerry Lawler in one last match so he can destroy him once and for all. Lawler cowers and Bret calls him “lower than shit”, badgering him into picking whatever kind of match he wants to settle it. No answer is forthcoming, because Lawler is the classic Memphis heel who talks big and then backs down.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. John Crystal
And so the reign of terror begins. Crystal works on a hammerlock, but Hunter makes the ropes and slaps the guy around in the corner. Leg lariat and he debuts the formal bow (one of the only moves he used to do effectively for a long time) and finishes with the Ace Crusher at 2:34. Vince is pretty impressed! Maybe he’ll fix him up with his daughter.
Mr. Backlund outlines his policies as President: He would ban calculators and computers, and mandate that everyone read one great American novel per week. NO SUMMER VACATIONS. See, when they can edit him down into soundbites and contain the crazy, he’s hilarious.
The Allied Powers v. Bill Payne & Tony Devito
The Powers quickly double-team Payne and Bulldog finishes with a powerslam at 3:00. They were really downplaying them as a team at this point due to Bulldog’s rampant legal troubles. This was more of a backdrop for Vince messing with Lawler over the Bret Hart thing.
Kama v. Barry Horowitz
Horowitz manages to trick Kama to the floor, but gets beat on in the ring with Kama’s dazzling array of punches. Half-crab finishes at 2:11.
Shawn Michaels v. King Kong Bundy
Really, in retrospect the result here was never in doubt. I mean, were we really gonna see King King Kong Bundy? That’s just SILLY. Shawn slugs away in the corner and then jumps to the floor to clown with Dibiase in a funny spot, but Bundy whips him out of the ring. Shawn is instantly the world’s greatest babyface in his first match back after his turn. Bundy hammers him and follows with a backdrop, then goes to a bearhug, which Shawn tries to reverse into a sunset flip. Bundy sits on him for two, however. To the chinlock, but we take a break and return with Shawn hitting the superkick for the pin at 8:00. Wow, Bundy lays down clean. This was about as good as you were gonna get out of him. ** Diesel and Bigelow come out to make amends afterwards, thus rekindling the bromance while Bigelow is the weirdo hanging out with them because they think he’s funny when he’s drunk.
Next week: Undertaker v. Jeff Jarrett!
Tags: monday night raw, SmarK Rants, SmarK WWE Network Raw Rant, WWF