Review: All-New X-Men #32 by Brian Bendis and Mahmud Asrar

all-new_x-men_32

All-New X-Men #32

Written by Brian Michael Bendis

Art by Mahmud Asrar and Marte Gracia

 

The short of it:

Angel is suddenly in a prehistoric paradise, quickly identified to him as the Savage Land by a blonde kid with Wolverine claws. Warren figures he’s lost his mind, but Kid Wolvie starts demanding answers, and once Warren bails he figures he’ll hunt him down to get those answers. Beast wakes up under water and surrounded by sharks, but when next we see him he’s trying to ask a couple making out on the beach where he is, and he assumes Turkey based on the language they speak. X-23 pops in during a football game, flips the running back for a fumble, and then pops her claws…which empties the entire stadium. Iceman is underground, with the Mole Man, and talking wayyyyyyy too much…so Mole Man has his minions swarm him to shut him up.  Finally, Jean is talking with Spider-Man, and both are taking entirely too long to put together the obvious pieces. She’s younger than the Jean he knows, he’s wearing a different costume than the one she knows Spider-Man to war, and the whole thing about Galactus eating New Jersey. Jean has to dig through his mind and memories to figure out that he’s Miles Morales, and they’re in a completely different universe now. Miles promptly talks about Peter Parker, but then goes to take Jean to whoever dealt with the Spider-Men event from a while back.

Meanwhile, as she does that, X-23 is on the run from a bunch of cops in a scene that, if longer, would be right out of The Matrix. Because this is the Ultimate Universe, and mutants are BAD! Remember when Cyclops got shot in the head? I do! Pretty much when I gave up on the Ultimate Universe! Then you’ve got Beast wandering around Eastern Europe, thinking he’s in Turkey, and trying to get a phone to use, but he keeps hearing a word…Doom. Yeah, he’s in Latveria, and there are so many Doombots. Finally, Miles gets Jean to the dimensional gateway he knows about, but it’s gone, and Amadeus Cho lets her know…she’s probably going to be stuck here for good.

 

What I liked:

  • The individual reactions everyone has to being in the different universe were priceless. Warren is sure he’s gone insane, Beast is just fascinated to assume he’s in Turkey, Jean does her usual “invade your privacy to figure out what I’m doing” with Spider-Man, Iceman and the Mole-People, and (saving the best for last), X-23 starting a massive panic.
  • Is Asrar taking over full time with Immonen going to Captain America? I could totally live with Asrar being here full time, this book looks amazing.
  • “Oh, this isn’t Turkey. This is Latveria.”
  • I don’t read the Ultimate books and I wasn’t lost at all, that was very unexpected. Bendis goes a great job making the universe accessible for those of us who avoid that trainwreck.

 

What I didn’t like:

  • Jean’s complete and total disrespect for anyone elses privacy has yet to become endearing, it’s just a constantly recurring personality trait that gets on my nerves.
  • How does Miles not realize that the Jean Grey he’s talking to is his age, and not the clearly older version he was accustomed to?
  • Why would you not show Beast vs Sharks?

 

Final thoughts:

Laura creates a full scale panic by popping in at a football game, and it leads to her in a high speed chase with the police. My distaste for the Ultimate line had me completely forget that it was so anti-mutant there. This arc is going to be a LOT more fun than I expected.

So does Kid Wolverine just naturally strike his dad’s poses, or did someone teach them to him?

So where do the original X-Men get stuck next?

And how many Ultimate characters are going to wind up being used? Will we actually see their X-Men? Maybe get some appearances by the casts of the newly launched/cancelled books from the most recent failed Ultimate relaunch?

Can this arc end with Miles moving to 616 and nobody ever mentioning the Ultimate Universe again? I think that might be best for everyone.

This book needs more Cyclops, like, desperately. It’s a team of X-Men without a leader because everyone is defaulting to Jean Grey who has shown zero capacity to lead.

Overall: 8.5/10

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