Quick Hits: Total Divas Binge-Watch

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{For those who still don’t know, “Quick Hits” is a style of column that is more “stream of consciousness”-style akin to “live Tweeting a show” while watching the show than a “Thoughts” recap.}

 

Total Divas S3 E4 – “Divas Unchained”

– Even Rosa Mendes is into Paige. See there’s just something about her…

– No one remembered Nattie’s birthday?! I’m sure there are fans out there that wished her a happy birthday on Twitter but her own husband forgot!? I sure hope this is all a ploy to help bolster Tyson Kidd’s new heel character because if it’s not, he’s screwed.

–  I never did think that putting something in your arm would stop you from getting pregnant. Last time I looked a women’s left arm is pretty far away from her lady business.

– Now I need a secret handshake with my lady.

– WOOOW Brie has gone into “Bitch Mode” to everyone now.

– Yeah TJ is coming off as being a major douche.

– Super Cena even drives with his hands at 10 & 2. The man is a manual of how to be annoyingly perfect.

– Well they did a pretty good job of bringing out the bitch during the intervention at least…

– Only Brie would be able to list ALL of the things that are stressing her out & then turn it into an “apologize”.

– And Rosa Mendes makes a move on a MARRIED woman. On Natalya nonetheless. Geeez.

– I really don’t blame Jey/Jon one bit. I know his struggle to get his significant other to see a damn doctor. A “present” like a stripper pole would piss the hell out of me too when the whole argument isn’t about sex but about her health!

– Natalya doesn’t want Rosa’s affection but yet constantly makes comments about the clothes that covers (or doesn’t cover) Rosa’s new boobs. I feel like Rosa’s boobs have become new characters on the show.

– Anyone that knows Nattie’s and TJ’s history knows that this is an “E” TV production and not their real lives. Those two are probably the most stable couple on the show and I just hope this helps TJ’s career in a good way.

 

Total Divas S3 E5 – “Scared Straight”

– Brie and Nikki just had to look up if a seal is a fish… yup. Best part of that scene was Nikki’s “dress”.

– I like how Brie & Bryan called out John Cena as being a superhuman freak for being able to recover from injuries so quickly. I understand why Bryan might try acupuncture when his injury is nerve based. It’s going to take time, with or without surgery.

– I can’t believe I’m saying this but Nikki is making great points. We saw something similar when Kurt Angle chose a different type of surgery instead of neck fusion surgery. Kurt ended up addicted to painkillers and alcohol. I don’t really see that happening to Bryan but you never know.

– Ahhhh the waiter calling Bryan and Brie “ladies” because of his hair. Priceless.

– My wife and I have had similar conversations about guns. I’m completely against guns in the house when you have a lot of other options. My wife is against guns because she thinks I’ll shoot myself in my foot.

– Good God the WWE doctor is very, very good at his job. Hearing what the doctor had to say and how quickly Bryan will be healed with a simple surgery! Now it’s definitely about Bryan being stubborn. It’s almost like he’s enjoying this break a little.

 

Total Divas S3 E6 – “Paint The Island Red”

– It’s weird to see John Cena call anyone domesticated. He seems like the most straight-edge man in the world.

– Nikki doesn’t like Daniel Bryan? No Bryan is like me: give me space, let me relax and don’t force booze on me. I know I’m no fun at parties but you don’t have to act excited that I won’t be there.

– Daniel Bryan telling Nikki to not dress Brie like a hoochie was just plain awesome.

– I think a lot of TJ’s sexual issues MIGHT be the fact there’s always a camera in their bedroom.

– Romantic excursion + Ostriches = A Memory

– I get Nikki wanting Brie to have fun but pushing alcohol and alcohol and alcohol is wrong.

– Finally Nattie opened up to someone! The fact that it was to Eva Marie is a little confusing.

– Now that they’ve finally addressed the personality differences between the Bellas, I’m actually curious to see how Nikki’s heel turn plays out on Total Divas. I wonder how much (if at all) they’ll sell it on E!

 

Total Divas S3 E7 – “The Double Cross”

– I will say this, Rosa Mendes definitely brings more sex to the show.

– “You like penis jokes so you’ll enjoy it.” – Nikki Bella to John Cena. So much more makes sense about Cena.

– HA! John Cena’s butt is starring in a Judd Apatow movie. And now it’s turned into a huge issue between John and Nikki. It’s so petty but awesome.

– “I like to think I share most everything to you. But there are just some things you don’t need to know.” – John Cena to Nikki Bella. WOW, are we seeing a John Cena reality TV heel turn?

– Marriage counseling is a great tool for couples who are still in a good place but may have a few issue to polish out. Don’t wait till you’re on the verge of divorce. Granted going to a marriage counselor whose pretty damn hot probably isn’t the best idea.

– TJ’s reaction to going back to therapy is EXACTLY how my significant other feels about going to couples counseling.

– Rosa just went OFF about how she needs constant attention and is looking for her soul mate to a dude on their SECOND DATE! RED ALERT!

– “We’re not divorced yet!” – Nattie to the paparazzi. Just stupid.

– Hello Summer! Well I guess she need to get rid of her one friend so she’s back on the quota of zero.

– TJ and Nattie divorcing is just ridiculous to me. These two have known each other since grade school and were living together for years before the E! wedding. I seriously doubt THIS much would change in 1 year when they’ve been together for almost 2 decades.

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