So I thought we’d do our monthly Heel Report this week. Next week will be a fun article when we take a light-hearted look at the complete Dungeon of Doom, and on Halloween day we’ll countdown the Top 10 Cult Leader Heels. The Cult Leader countdown will be a serious analysis.
Anyway there’s been a lot of heel news lately. I’m going to be focusing on the real life heels, not storyline kayfabe heels. So lets check the headlines.
Triple-H Snubs Kurt Angle
Of course Triple-H doesn’t care if Angle stays with TNA. Why should he worry? It’s not like Angle going to TNA hurt WWE at all. WWE is still cutting costs, and probably shouldn’t send out large contracts. Also this isn’t 2003, and Angle is not anywhere close to being in his prime. Brock, or Rusev could end up crippling Angle even worse. Angle’s matches with Sting a few years ago were his “one final run”, he’s been losing his five-star match quality little by little since. I wish the WWE was working us and that Angle has been holding back in TNA, and that Angle is ready to take on the WWE roster. Angle was the greatest at one time, and deserves his accolades, and more. He certainly deserves to be in any pro-wrestling HOF a lot more than any child-killing Dynamite Kid wannabe.
Evil Part-Time Champs.
I’ve gone through this before, but there is nothing wrong with the way WWE is booking Brock. The thirty-day rule is only enforced when the Authority feels like enforcing it. Why? Well because the Authority are heels and allowed to be hypocrites. Brock broke the streak, and shit on all the mark’s special moment, and then he took the title and left. We’re supposed to be mad at him, but not really be mad at him because in real life Brock Lesner is just a regular guy playing a character. Besides the 30 day rule started in WCW, and that was because they needed a reason to get the NWO to keep defending their belts, storyline wise. That rule wasn’t held up all the time either. I believe ECW is the only wrestling federation that has ever stuck by its own made-up rules? So stop hurting Brock Lesner’s feelings as he cries in his bath tub full of money.
No Total Divas Champion.
Probably the worst thing to happen to the WWE’s Diva’s Division is Total Divas. Fans already hate Cameron, and Eva Marie, and we just found out that a diva can’t win the Diva’s belt if they’re on Total Divas. This is a bad idea, and explains why AJ and Paige have been the only champs since late 2013. I’m not sure when this broke, but this revelation proved what fans already thought, Total Divas is more important than the Diva’s Division. I’m sure Total Divas makes more money than a healthy female wrestling roster, but it’s another thing that sucks about WWE. It reminds us that we still can’t do anything about what the WWE does. Sigh.
Ricardo Rodriguez and the WWE Push.
Ricardo Rodriguez mentioned something we all already knew, that you aren’t going to get over in the WWE unless they say so. A lot of people have said the Ricardo sounds “behind hurt”. Marks blame Ricardo for not getting over, and point to how the Wyatts and Shield got over just because the fans loved them. That’s a pretty shallow assumption in my view. That’s like saying the fans loved Nash and Hogan and that’s why they got over in WCW. We loved Nash because at the time Jericho, Eddie, and Dead Guy had no chance of winning the BIG Gold Belt, and Nash was one of the few that could. If the Unitards really did pick who got over than why didn’t Zack Ryder main event Wrestlemania 29? WWE tried their hardest to kill Daniel Bryan, and didn’t even try to hide it. Bryan finally succeeded in doing that himself it seems, but I digest ( I just had lunch). I completely agree with Ricardo here.
The Bunny, Mini-Gator, and El Torito
Okay this kind of comedy wrestling stuff isn’t going to kill Titus O’Neil, or the Colons. I think this is all pretty funny actually, and I;m not sure Titus and Heath hate what they’re doing. It looks like fun, and I’ve never heard of a wrestler being buried by being a comedy wrestler. Colt Cabana, and Nova did fine. Kurt Angle did all kinds of hilarious stuff, and often made himself look foolish in the ring, and still got over. What else is there to do with these six guys? Titus could face Cesaro, and Sheamus over and over, and I guess Slater and Hornswoggle could have matches with each other while Matadores could job to every tag team that’s facing the champs. As for the Bunny. I always saw Adam Rose as a club goer, and more of an adult gimmick. Given that he seems to travel with a mobile rave around him at all times. So I don’t see the Bunny as being aimed at kids. I know WWE is more child oriented, but I don’t think the Bunny is part of it. Alright after you lookover the Heel of the Week, and the Top Five, you can all take a break and pop some E. I think Alex Wright will be DJ’ing tonight?
Heel of the Week is Mr Heel Seth Rollins. Even when WWE books strong heels, Rollins constantly does these little prickish things that put him above Rusev. I mean that curb-stomp on Ziggler was so a-holish. Seth also seems to be one of the few heels, besides Bo Dallas, that doesn’t care about looking badass, and that makes him a star. *tear drop
Top 5 Wrestlers that failed Survivor Series Class
5) The Jackyl
4) Steve Blackman
3) Marty Jannetty
1) Jerry Lawler
Tags: bart gunn, Crush, Executioner, Flash Funk, Furnus and Lafon, Psycho Sid, Savio Vega