Forever Heel Addiction to Authority

Authority figures have been out of control since 2000, but are they really essential? We’ll see…

I wanted to do some quick housekeeping. I haven’t seen a complete episode of Raw in weeks, but I noticed Orton is no longer a member of The Authority. I guess that leaves Seth, Kane, Nikki, Noble, and Mercury? It looks like the stable is falling apart. So Authority will lose their authority, and be back by February. I’m also worried about the number of fans that actually believe there’s a rule book in WWE. I guess I was right when I thought WWE is manufacturing a new kind of Mark? Oh well that’s something WWE can go over with their therapist. Let’s talk about wrestling’s addiction to authority figures.

In the old days, pro-wrestling didn’t need authority figures. The announcers would give you the story through their commentary. They would tell you the rules for a match, and any stipulations, or the wrestler’s finisher. You could understand why a feud began because each man would do a promo in the form of an interview. The interviewer would listen and give his opinion based on what was said, and that’s how you figured out who was a face, and who was a heel, or even if they were a tweener. There was no reason to have a authority figure, and if one was needed the fed would just say “The Championship Committee” decided it. In the event you needed a contract signing, you would just bring out some old-timer to present everything. There was no fighting during these events because what was happening was rare and important. There was no breaking tables, or throwing your chair. This was serious business.

In the early 90’s authority figures were popping up in Indy feds, mostly as wrestling commissioners. They would get involved in actual matches. Usually to restart a match, or end one for blood, or whatever. ECW Tod Gordon, and his heel foil, Bill Alfonso. On behalf of “The State Athletic commission”, Alfonso outlawed the chokeslam, and DQ’d Tommy Dreamer for using a closed fist. Fonzie wasn’t all-powerful, as his decrees were often overturned by Tod Gordon. Alfonso is the first heel authority figure I’m aware of. Authority figures were usually grizzled old veterans that were always face. The idea of the fighting commish was supposed to appeal to wrestling fans that were going through a mid-life crisis I guess? WCW had Bill Watts and later Nick Bockwinkel, as the Fed’s commissioner. WWE had appointed Gorilla Monsoon as President of the company, and briefly Roddy Piper as an interim commissioner, or interim. None of these guys did anything physical except for Piper. They still just announced stuff, and pushed the story along. They weren’t their own character, and hardly ever did these men get their own action figure. We all waited for that Eric Watts & Bill Watts two-pack, but it never came to be.

The first national heel authority figure was Eric Bischoff followed by Vince McMahon, a year later. This was very cool when it happened, but would lead to the need for a face of authority to counter these evil bossmen. Bischoff would be foiled by “The Championship committee”, Toddy Piper, and JJ Dillon, while Vince had Linda McMahon, Mick Foley, and Shawn Michaels. This worked fine, Vince, and Eric were still great at playing their evil boss characters.

By the time the millennium rolled around, WWE, WCW, and ECW all had evil authority figures. WCW had four of them, from 1996-2000. It was getting to seem like these evil bosses were beginning to enjoy being on tv a bit too much. Vince Russo would claim he needed to be on camera because WCW and Nitro demanded his character be there. Worse was that Vince McMahon felt he needed to have all four members of the McMahon family be apart of the main event at WrestleMania 2000.

After WCW folded Vince McMahon would stay in charge as a face or heel authority figure, and battle other authority figures, and his own children. Finally in 2002 Vince created “The GM”, after Raw and Smackdown we’re re-branded, and separated into two independent organizations. There were so many GM’s between 2002 and 2014 that I couldn’t count them all, a d spent last Monday crying in a corner because of it.

Now it seems that WWE has more fun making up the title of an authority figure. Triple H is the COO, while Kane is the DOO, and Vince is the chairman, while Stephanie McMahon is the part owner. We’ve also had titles that no company would need, like a minister of defense, chief of staff, or director of authority. Some were just special guest GM’s. Usually the heel boss takeover the WWE, and by the time the fans get bored with this heel of authority, Vince McMahon comes out to put them in a match where if they lose, they’re fired. Ninety-percent of the time the heel boss is fired and embarrassed, then another heel shows up three months later. It just seems that WWE believes it now needs an on camera authority figure. WWE has even had episode’s of Raw where the wrestlers become like Lord of the Flys without an authority figure to tell them what’s going on. This has also led to TNA believing they need authority figures, and any numbed of indy feds. I feel this trend was created by Vince McMahon in his crusade to turn away from pro-wrestling, and make WWE super-unique. As we all know super-unique is WWE in its ultimate form. Just like in DBZ, or any other anime with demon robots mutants.

This week’s heel of the week is Rusev because he owns the USA Belt, and he’s Russian…or whatever.

Top 5 Guys that You Can’t Trust with Your Car Keys.

5)Road Dogg
4) Rikishi
3) The White Hummer
1) Psychosis


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