It’s another episode of RAW, and an old Authority figure is returning from WWE past: The Anonymous GM. Apparently we are just suppose to forget that Hornswoggle was revealed to be behind the laptop. Here’s hoping Edge comes out and smashes the laptop again at the end of the night.
A Long Rambling Promo Without Triple H?
After a recap of RAW last week, Michael Cole started with an e-mail from the Anonymous RAW GM. He said the future of the WWE can’t be left in the hands of washed up old veterans and he had an announcement to make. Before Cole could say it, John Cena came out. Cena said both the anonymous GM and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar only show up once a year. Cena went on to talk about his team at Survivor Series but the e-mail noise just kept going off. Cena closed the laptop. Seth Rollins came out with J & J Security. Rollins mocked Cena’s hand wave gesture and called him a little kid. Rollins said Cena’s become quite proficient at letting the crowd know how much he sucks on a nightly basis. Rollins said Cena is good at taking credit that he is not due. He said Cena didn’t win at Survivor Series and he pinned Cena. Seth said he would have been the sole survivor and the Authority would still be in power if it wasn’t for Sting. Cena said Dolph Ziggler single handily won the match and got the Authority out of power. Rollins said after a week, everyone had to honestly ask themselves if the WWE was better off with the Authority not in power. The crowd chanted YES.
Seth asked if this is really how he wanted RAW run. He said who would be in charge next. JBL? Batista? “He’s already proven he’s bad at wrestling and acting.” He said if we really want to go way back they could get Eric Bischoff. Seth said if this show is really about the people and what is best for them, then by the end of the show he will bring back the Authority. Cena said Rollins is in no place to be barking orders because the Authority, his trump card, is not coming back. He called Seth a normal dude now who wears way too much latex and has a couple wannabe mall cops with him. Cena made Rollins ask nicely to bring back the Authority, so he made Seth say please. Cena asked for Seth to get down on one knee. The anonymous GM then made a tables match between Rollins and Cena at TLC. And if Cena loses at TLC, he will no longer be the number one contender. Cena turned to look at the computer but Rollins attacked. Cena cleared the ring before Kane came out and hit a chokeslam. Rollins got a table but Ryback came out and cleaned house. Kane eventually stopped it with a chair. Erik Rowan came out and gained the upper hand before Big Show took him out with the steps. Dolph Ziggler then took out Big Show, got a ladder, but Luke Harper took Ziggler out. Rollins set up the table in the ring but Cena attacked, but he ate a right hand from Harper then a KO Punch from Big Show. Rollins then power bombed Cena through the table.
There Are This Many Tag Teams?
Tag Team Turmoil. First its the New Day vs Goldust and Stardust. Kofi hit a dropkick and Goldust quickly tagged in. But Big E came in and caught him with a clothesline. Goldust caught Big E with an uppercut as did Stardust. But Kofi tagged in and Big E recovered to hit their finisher on Stardust and pick up the pinfall, eliminating the Dust Brothers.
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro came out next. They had control back from break. Kidd hit a bodyslam and show boated but he ran right into a hurricarrana. Big E tagged in and he hit some clotheslines and followed it up with a splash. Cesaro stopped a Big Ending. Both Cesaro and Kidd ended up on the apron. Big E knocked them off and then tossed Kofi to the outside onto them. Back in the ring, Kofi hit an axe handle off the top. But Goldust and Stardust attacked Xaiver Woods on the outside. The distraction allowed Kidd to roll up Kofi and score the pinfall.
The Usos were out next. Cesaro ate the butt splash. Tyson Kidd came in and was sent to the outside. One Uso went for a dive but Kidd pulled Natty in front of him. Cesaro made a blind tag earlier and came from behind to hit a German suplex. Cesaro and Kidd still had control back from break. After a Jey dropkick to Kidd Jimmy finally got the hot tag. Jey took Cesaro out with a dive to the outside. Kidd grabbed Natalya nd the distraction allowed Kidd to hit an enziguri kick. Kidd launched off the rope but right into a superkick. An Uso splash later and Cesaro and Kidd were gone.
Adam Rose and The Bunny were the last team. Rose grabbed control and hit a Spinebuster on Jey. The Bunny tagged in and went to the top but Rose stopped him. The Bunny and Jey were on top and the Bunny hit a powerbomb for two. Rose tagged himself in and argued with the Bunny. He turned around right into a super kick then an Uso splash. The Usos are the number one contenders.
WINNERS: The Usos
Backstage Miz told Naomi that he saw her music video and gave her the number of a talent agent in Hollywood. Mizdow then pretended to give Naomi a card as well.
Because Why Wouldn’t Erik Rowan Be A Genius?
Tom Phillips interviewed Erik Rowan. He said he did some research and Rowan has an IQ of 143 and is a wine maker and asked why he’s going after Big Show. It’s because he is a bully. Big Show said he is a bully because he can be, and told Rowan to come out there. The match started with both men exchanging blows and Rowan eventually knocking Show to the ground. Show popped back up and hit a clothesline and went to work on Rowan. Show landed multiple kicks to Rowan. Rowan fought out of a headlock and eventually clotheslined Show over the top rope. Rowan hit a headbutt, but Show reversed him on the outside and tossed Rowan into the steps. Show then smashed the stairs onto the back of Rowan, causing a DQ.
WINNER via DQ: Erik Rowan
Jack Swagger was set to face Fandango, but someone attacked Zeb backstage, injuring his leg. Fandango won via forfeit. Rusev then came out into commercial.
Back from break Lana complained about Rusev being forced to say the Pledge of Allegiance last week. She then said everyone in the battle royal on Smackdown failed to take the title from the greatest US Champion ever. Rusev said those who don’t listen to and fear him have been broken, just like Zeb Colter. Lana then did her own Pledge of Allegiance to the Russian flag. Jack Swagger then came out and the two brawled up the ramp as officials tried to break it up.
Damien Mizdow defeated Fernando with the Figure Four Leg Lock. After the match, Jimmy Uso came out and slapped Miz and told him to stay away from his wife.
Oh Hey, R-Truth Is Still A Thing
Bray Wyatt vs R-Truth. After exchanging blows, Bray connected on a hard right hand. Bray landed some headbutts then a clothesline. Bray continued to dominate and constantly called out to Dean Ambrose. Bray missed his back splash. Truth started a comeback with a heel kick and flying elbow. Truth missed a scissors kick. Bray hit his chokeslam then dropped Truth face first on the apron. Bray finished it up with Sister Abigail for the win.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt
After the match Bray threw tables, ladders and chairs into the ring. Back from break Bray cut a promo about someone named Jacob. He said he uses the ladder to look down on the insects of the world like Dean Ambrose. Bray went on for a little bit more before Dean Ambrose finally came out. The two brawled around ringside. Ambrose smashed the head of Bray on the announce table. Ambrose put Bray on the announce table and climbed a ladder but Bray bailed. Ambrose got off the ladder and continued to attack Bray. Ambrose went into the ring and destoryed Bray’s rocking chair.
Naomi was chosen by the WWE App users as AJ’s partner. The Bellas took their turn working over Naomi early on. Naomi eventually countered a backdrop, landing on her feet and tagging in AJ. AJ took it to both Bellas. She knocked Brie off the apron and hit a tornado DDT on Nikki. Brie broke up the pin but AJ sent her to the outside. AJ hit the Shining Wizard then made Nikki tap out to the Black Widow.
Paul Heyman appeared via satellite. Heyman said Christmas is special and unique, just like his client. He said if John Cena escapes these wars with the Authority, he will have to face a fully fresh, ready to go Brock Lesnar. He said him and his client will be intrigued if John Cena loses to see who will become the new number one contender. Could it be Seth Rollins, who curb stomped his client. What about The Undertaker, if you could find him. What about Sting? If he stepped in the ring against his client it would be a retirement match. He said it doesn’t matter, because anyone thrown in his client’s way will face the same fate.
Since When Does A Wrestling Match Get 30 Minutes On This Show?
Main Event Time: John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and Ryback vs Seth Rollins, Kane and Luke Harper. Cena and Harper started. Cena went to work early with some punches and a clothesline. Cena caught Harper with a right hand then pulled Rollins into the ring. Cena applied the STF but Harper broke it up. Cena tagged in Ziggler and connected on a double dropkick. Harper countered a neckbreaker with a shot to the throat then tagged in Kane. Ziggler caught Kane with a kick then tagged in Ryback. Ryback landed some punches then a Lou Thesz press. Ryback hit a splash for two. Kane came back and pushed Ryback into his corner. Harper came in. Ryback was thrown into the corner but bounced right back with a clohtesline. Ryback and Harper exchanged some Flair chops. Ryback blocked a splex attempt and hit one of his own into commercial.
Back from break, Ziggler and Kane came in. Ziggler applied a sleeper hold but Kane escaped. Ziggler caught a charging Kane with an elbow but ate a Kane right hand coming off the top rope. The heels took their turns working over Ziggler. Eventually, Ziggler moved out of the way of a Rollins charge in the corner and tagged in Cena. Cena went into CENA MODE. Harper came in the ring and he ate an AA. Ryback and Cena hit a double on Kane. Mercury and Noble hit a couple punches on Cena but Rollins only got a two count.
This time it was John Cena that the heels had control over back from break. Rollins hit a mock Five Knucke Shuffle. Rollins missed a splash in the corner and Ziggler got the hot tag. He hit a neckbreaker and elbow on Harper. Ziggler connected on the Fameasser. Rollins broke up the pin. A brawl broke out in the ring but Cena came off the second rope onto everyone. Everyone hit a big move until Harper hit a black hole slam for two. Ziggler countered Harper into a pin attempt and scored the win for his team.
WINNERS: John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and Ryback
Everyone started brawling after the match. Big Show came out to give the heels the advantage. Erik Rowan came out with the stairs and took out all the heels. The faces stood tall to close the show.
While the main event was some decent wrestling, there was really nothing else on the show worthwhile. And even with the main event, it really doesn’t mean anything in the long run. I talked about this on the HTC Pulsecast today, but it really seems like the WWE is in auto pilot for the rest of December. I don’t think we will get anything new and/or major from a storyline perspective. Just look at tonight’s show. Outside of the stipulation to the Seth Rollins/John Cena match at TLC, nothing newsworthy came out of this show. You could have easily skipped this show and not missed anything. A show can have a good match or two on it, but if nothing meaningful happens with storylines then it really doesn’ matter in the long run. I’m going to give the show a 2. And with next week being the Slammy Awards show, I’m already dreading it.
Until Next Time,
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Tags: aj lee, big show, Bray Wyatt, Brie Bella, Daniel Bryan, dean ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Erik Rowan, john cena, Luke Harper, Nikki Bella, Raw, rusev, ryback, seth rollins, Stephanie McMahon, Sting, triple h, vince mcmahon, WWE