Do any of you notice that Luke Harper got the shit music when the Wyatts broke up? I mean Bray has that awesome lantern song, and Rowan’s got that plucky Silent Hill music. I swear Rowan’s music is from the first Silent Hill. I’d check, but I have no access to a PS2, and Silent Hill scares the shit out of me anyway. I mean they had a whole scary game where the guy is stuck in his apartment. It’s 8pm here in Cali. My house is too dark, and drafty. No I’m afraid Eric Rowan…
Well Royal Rumble 2015 is in the books. Here’s the breakdown
1) Big E and Kofi beat Canadian Zack Ryder, and Big Vito
2) Robbie and Rory beat The New Age Old Laws
3) The Wonderful Bellas defeated These Two Chicks
4) Miz lost to Mizdow, and the Usos
5) Brock killed Cena and Seth Rollins. Brock basically hurt himself so bad that we thought he was dead, but he was playing Super Possum and woke up just in time to keep his belt.
6)Royal Rumble match had Ro Dallas win.
My thoughts on last night’s Rumble was that none of it mattered. It confirmed what I already heard would happen. Reigns won the Rumble, and Brock kept the belt. I think Roman is an alright choice. I’d like to know him better, but WWE keeps giving him scripts to read. I’m not blaming talent for bad promos because Stephanie doesn’t allow a guy to even ad-lib the script. Roman is probably nervous about fucking up, and ending up like Ziggler, or Swagger, or Cesaro. Rock also made Roman look small by standing next to him. Maybe Vince will Shit himself and give the belt to Hunico for Mania? Roman will look bigger, and we could have an Evil Rey Mysterio do a run in. I actually don’t know how Roman will beat Brock clean without looking like a putz?
I liked seeing Bubba Ray, but why should he and D’von sign with WWE, just to lay down for The Ascension? To me Bully and Devon are not at a point where they need to put anyone over, and return to their goofy “Dudley Boyz” moniker.
Did anyone else notice JBL’s shot at Mil Mascaras ? I don’t believe this was a shot at Del Rio because Mascaras is a known asshole. If Mick Foley hates you than you’re probably a professional dick-head. Foley seems to think everyone is likable. He Even likes Flair, and Bischoff now. Although who could hate Eric Bischoff?
Last night set up some interesting feuds. Rusev and Cena began their program. The other two minor ones were Goldust and Stardust, and Miz Vs Mizdow. Not too much evidence of the feud beginning, but you could tell Miz was more pissed at Mizdow than cartoonish pissed. As for The Dust Brothers, there’s nothing there yet.
It looks like WWE is setting up Bray Wyatt Vs Daniel Bryan at Mania. That sounds better than putting Bray Wyatt against the Undertaker. Taker was too beat up to wrestle back in 2009. The young IWC needs to realize that wrestlers aren’t comic book characters, and that real people get old. Is Bray going to wear that Brown suit at each PPV? Maybe it gives him Mankind’s powers? Oh and yah DB is here.
Cena should win the USA belt at Mania because the secondary titles won’t look so much like a “stepping (down) stone”, if the biggest WWE Champ in history is wearing it. Cena will win, and I can’t see why not? Everybody loses to Cena, so no one is getting buried. I think we need a new definition of “buried” because people use it way too much. The only current buried guy is Zack Ryder, and since pro-wrestling is fake a wrestler’s credibility doesn’t matter. Nobody remembers Triple H for losing to the Brooklyn Brawler.
Kane broke HBK’s record for the most Royal Rumble eliminations because Kane is still on the active roster, and WWE wants us to forget HBK. I’m not kidding WWE thinks fans will get confused by past WWE continuity, and therefore we need to forget HBK. Also you should probably forget about any Canadian guys in red tights and midget arms. I think his name was Eddie Malenko?
Top Heels Not In Last Night’s Rumble.
5) The Philly Crowd
4) Mr Mustafa (he’s the heel New Jack)
3) Heath Slater
1)Bo Dallas (seriously, where was he?)
Tags: alberto el patron, Forever Heel, hunico, Mankind, The Dudley Boyz, Tyson Kidd, zack ryder