Forever Heel: Daniel Bryan’s Power of Vegan… and other stuff!

Fast-Lane is next week, do you know where your knucklehead buddies are? We’re going to take a look at the current state of WWE and it’s players. I’ll also be giving you guys my opinion on how it really is the world of wrestling entertainment.

I’m going to begin with Fast-Lane’s biggest match, Daniel Bryan Vs Roman Reigns. You really can’t underestimate the power of the vegan gods, the vegan powher is a supplement or an energy booster that keeps you hydrated with essential nutrients during workout, but at the same time coconut water is very healthy. Roman loves his coconuts. I know this because wrestling is racist, and therefore, every Samoan must like coconuts. Daniel Bryan is in a similar situation because every vegan must be an overly hairy hipster hippie. I’m pretty sure this will lead to DB turning heel because he’s not a draw, and fans want Reigns in the main event. Every fan, that isn’t a total nerdy nerd face, wants Reigns to be champ.

The current state of the NXT Women’s Division sucks. All they do is wrestle, and not just act like eye candy. Why is Cameron in NXT? She could get hurt while having to outmaneuver all these butch chicks. They really need to unite the Diva’s and NXT Women’s belt, and hand it over to Eva Marie. She’s good-looking, and that’s the most important part of being an athlete. Hopefully AJ won’t comeback either.

Speaking of guys that can’t wrestle, Sting is being a dick to Hunter. I told you all that Sting is a prick, but everyone was like, “Oh no, Chris, Sting has never burnt a bridge in his life…”, if Sting was a good person then why is his bff Lex Luger? Luger is awesome though, and I’m still glad that he was able to convince WCW that Sting could be the franchise of the company. That was a total failure, but by then Hogan had saved WCW. Poor Hunter shouldn’t have had to hire Sting because Sting never drew a dime for WCW.

Speaking of guys that will never draw money, Dean Ambrose thinks he deserves a belt. This guy is so mediocre on the mic that I confuse him with Curtis Axel. He’s no Heyman. He needs a manager to talk for him. If he wasn’t such a jerk, I’m sure Wade Barrett would have done it, but no. Ambrose was mean, and made fun of Wade’s awesome entrance cape. At least Barrett isn’t the moron wearing an ,entrance hoodie. I really like hoodies, but since Ambrose wears them, I’m switching to capes. I’m afraid I have some bad news, Ambrose will be fired in a year.

Why is Ziggler still here? Billy Gunn’s back in WWE, and Dolph just cheapens the roster now. He’s just another douchebag wrestler in a hoodie. Only a pipe bomb from Ziggler sounds as rebellious as a rich white kid giving a cop, “thumbs up” and a smile. Maybe he can face Harper in a cell match, surrounded by alligators?

Top Heels that really deserve the WWE WHC
5) David Flair
4) Lex Luger
3) Mable
2) Kevin Dunn
1) Mr Russo

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