Forever Heel: Citizen Kane Plus Top 5 Big Men We Want Back in WWE

So Kane hasn’t been feeling monsterish lately. 

It’s not because of his evolution into Corporate Kane. The 2014 corporate Kane was based on the character Patrick Bateman, from the film “American Psycho”. The WWE website even posted notes from Kane’s padfollio, the notes included little doodle drawings of people on fire, and being tortured. Patrick Bateman had done this in “American Psycho”. Corporate Kane was gearing up to being a major threat, but was then forced to out the mask back on, and feud with Daniel Bryan. That feud went nowhere because of Bryan ‘s injury. Kane instead went on a rampage, and helped Seth Rollins win the MITB briefcase. He went back to being Corporate Kane, but now he was more like Big Bubba Rogers, and less of a psychopath with power. John Cena even remarked that Kane resembled comedian Drew Carey. Things didn’t get better when he was teamed with Big Show at the Royal Rumble, they have since been having the goofiest bromance ever. I sometimes wonder if Big Show is writing his storylines with Kane. I could just see Show thinking this is hilarious, but more than likely it’s Vince, and Bill Dundee,…or Kevin Dunn.

Another development is that Kane is being removed from title contention. I think that’s reasonable since he’s the Director of Operations, and WWE doesn’t really give their GM’s, commissioners, hosts, or basic authority figures the authority to book themselves into title matches. Triple H does, because he’s boss. WWE has also been letting other talent call Kane things like “little hitch”, or “kiss ass”, without any repercussions. That makes him look less threatening. They aren’t burying Kane because they could book Kane to kill Bryan, and Ziggler, and he would immediately get his heat back. He wouldn’t need his mask, or “The Devil’s Favorite Demon” bs. Kane is scary on his own, if allowed to be. Remember his white wedding tux? That was beyond creepy.

Yeah so a lot of the IWC New Blood want Kane to go back to being a monster, and most want him with the mask. I’m sure WWE will do that soon because it’s easier than making Corporate Kane into a legit threat. Although masked Kane has lost to Jericho in 5 minutes, by submission. He’s lost his signature Inferno Match more times than he’s won. Also X-Pac stole his mask and wore it around, while Kane stood around pretending he’s Frankenstein. Some have suggested Kane became his character from “See No Evil”, I don’t see how that’s any different than having Zeus show up. That character seems like Kane with a different name anyway. I guess he could wear the leather apron now that Bray Wyatt isn’t wearing one? I’m thinking the return of masked/monster Kane is going to be as cool as when Undertaker dropped his badass biker gimmick in favor of his watered down zombie gimmick. Seriously when Taker comes to the ring, I think he’s forgot some of his gear. It’s so stale and half-assed.

Another issue is that Kane is getting older, and might want to turn toward part-timing, or retire. That’s okay because we got Luke Harper, Erik Rowan, and any other moron WWE hires to take Kane’s place. Hooray? Yes. Pro-wrestling will never run out of super heavyweights that walk around the ring for the whole match, while the commentator tells us what an “agile big man” he is. Thanks for lying to our faces, guys.

Heel of The Weak is: The guy that made up the story about TNA talent not being paid, for up to 6 months. Seriously, where are these starving wrestlers that aren’t being paid? Any idiot can make up stories, and have “sources”. Sorry for the rant, fellas.

Top Big Men We Want Back in WWE
5) Zeus
4) The Giant Silva
3) Nathan Jones
2) Great Khali…that’s happening?
1) Yamaguchi San

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