Douces Wild: Killing Gimmick Matches and MITB 2015 Predictions

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So now I’m moved into my new apartment and now that I’m finally settled in, I decided to start writing columns again. The layoff from column writing has not deterred my following of the product and I just wanted to drop in my opinions of one thing that has been freakin’ bugging me for months and my MITB 2015 predictions (even though I know the predictions column is not up yet).

So…….gimmick matches are REALLY starting to get on my nerves these days. We just had the Elimination Chamber and two weeks later, it’s Money in the Bank. That’s two massive gimmick matches and shows being lumped together in the span of two weeks. It’s hard to breath, hard to fathom and hard to get excited when you don’t even comprehend everything that happened at Elimination Chamber then two weeks later, we’re right back with Money in the Bank briefcase. Of course, there are two major reasons as to why we are so over saturated with gimmick matches these days are for two reasons: Gimmick Match PPVs and too many Gimmick Matches. Gimmick PPVs have been a thing since 2009 when Hell in a Cell and TLC got their first PPVs that year. Hell in a Cell 2009 featured three Cell matches (CM Punk/Undertaker for the World Title, John Cena/Randy Orton for the WWE Title & D-X/Legacy) and sure, two of them ended their feuds (Punk/Taker and D-X/Legacy)……sort of…….but Orton/Cena continued on to the next month for their 60 Minute Falls Count Anywhere Iron Man match. The Cell used (key word: used) to be one of the most diabolical matches in WWE history…….now it’s just boring.

While I believe that not everything has to sex, blood and violence for the sake of it in the WWE, no blood has really taken away the Hell in a Cell’s aura, just like the Steel Cage so many years ago when, oddly enough, Hell in a Cell debuted. Now it’s just two guys having stunt shows in a giant cell…….not exactly the most dangerous match in wrestling history right? The Steel Cage isn’t what it used to be either…….outside of a few matches over the past decade, it really hasn’t been that relevant at all because of the Cell and the Elimination Chamber being bigger and better ideas along with being showcased more (Hell in a Cell and Elimination Chamber have their own shows). The Elimination Chamber is also an overused gimmick and that became tragically obvious at the PPV, Elimination Chamber. I didn’t watch the show live but I did get to watch the Intercontinental Title match in the Chamber live so I was expecting it to be pretty solid. All 6 guys are solid workers no doubt so I figured they would put on a good match, right?

THE MATCH SUCKED!!! Oh my god, that was the most boring Chamber match I’ve ever seen……at least the ECW one had some exciting moments! There was no flow, everything looked sloppy, at least two guys had problems getting out of their fucking door, one of the guys played it off like he was the one screwing with it all along but it was such a weak payoff that I just rolled my eyes, the crowd was dead for most of the match, R-Truth had no business being in this match, Mark Henry had no business being in this match, Wade Barrett had no business being eliminated first (although I did like him just being a dick to everybody). If anything that match and that show (with two Chamber matches) show that you just can’t throw two gimmick matches out there and expect the crowd to like it. In fact, the WWE LOVES to promote two or more gimmick matches (representative of the PPV) onto a card in hoping to hook audience interest into the show. Hell in a Cell PPV? Since 2009, only 2012 had one Cell on that PPV (Punk/Ryback) but the others have all had more than one. Elimination Chamber? Since 2008, when it was the February PPV “No Way Out” there were at least two Elimination Chamber matches on that PPV (until it just became Elimination Chamber and the trend continued). TLC? You get a Tables match, a Chairs match, a Ladder match, a STAIRS match and an actual TLC match…….wow. Money in the Bank? It used to be two but it looks like they’ll be sticking with one this year. But do you see what I mean????

These gimmick don’t mean jack anymore because they’ve been overused and their mystique is gone. Winning MITB is not what it used to be and sure with the right person (like Rollins last year), it can flourish but there was a long lull before Rollins that the MITB was just there because it scheduled to be there. Hell in a Cell and Elimination Chamber matches are no longer surprises……they have their own shows. I’ve been getting sick and tired of TLC matches for a good minute and I never expected that when I was a kid watching the Hardyz, Edge and Christian and the Dudleyz but thanks, WWE, you’ve ruined a favorite gimmick match! However, that also goes to show how much little faith the WWE has in their own product and in their own ability to sell the product. It’s no longer about having this guy fight this guy or this team fighting this team that sells, nope, it’s about what gimmicks are they going to throw at us! What gimmick will these two guys be fighting in? It’s like they don’t trust their wrestlers to draw……..so they have to throw them in numerous gimmick matches just to try and draw people in. Of course, that would mean that the wrestlers are taking unnecessarily stupid bumps for no reason other than to pop the crowd a little bit because the WWE is too stupid to get any of their guys over enough to draw worth a damn (they’ll make sure to get the company over but not their wrestlers). I’m surprised that Rollins and Ambrose are actually fighting in a regular match on Sunday……..I’m surprised they aren’t fighting in a Ladder match or something. At the end of the day, we have become so disinterested in the product because it doesn’t surprise us anymore. Just like what a lot of big blockbuster movies are doing, they leave little to the imagination. We, as wrestling fans, are fucking spoiled these days and the WWE is the rich father who makes sure that we have all the best stuff……..but we don’t really need it…….yet somehow…….we always end up getting it, one way or the other.

 

MITB PREDICTIONS!!!!

WWE World Title match: Seth Rollins (c) vs Dean Ambrose

Winner: Seth Rollins. I love Ambrose but he is a roadblock at this moment. We all know who is going to end up getting their rematch, probably at Summerslam. However, I’ve liked Ambrose getting this big push and hopefully, one day, he’ll be the champion but it won’t be here. Rollins is keeping the belt until Summerslam and will probably drop it to Brock Lesnar but that’s ok because it’s in the cards. A lot of people have been complaining that Rollins’ reign has been doing horrible TV ratings and that he is to blame for the low ratings. Do NOT believe that, that is a bullshit cop out excuse that the WWE loves to use to throw people under the bus. Remember, it isn’t about getting the wrestlers over, it’s about getting the COMPANY over so if the TV ratings are doing great, the COMPANY is responsible……..if the TV ratings suck, the company is supposed to be blamed but they blame the wrestler on top. Rollins has been having lifeless feuds with Randy Orton, Roman Reigns and Kane……the feud with Ambrose has been solid but we’ve seen it before and it doesn’t help that Reigns keeps sticking his nose it whenever he pleases. However……..you know what honestly WOULD NOT surprise me? Dean Ambrose winning the WWE Title, Roman Reigns winning MITB…….Roman Reigns cashing in on Dean Ambrose right after he wins the WWE Title and turns heel. If that happened, it would not surprise me one bit.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Randy Orton vs Roman Reigns vs Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus vs Neville vs Kofi Kingston

Winner: Roman Reigns. Is there really any doubt at all that this is not happening? I find it kind of funny that the WWE want Roman Reigns to win, both, the Royal Rumble and the MITB briefcase in this desperate effort of trying to get him over but it just won’t work to be honest. I see the fans pissing and moaning about this one and I would have to agree. Sure, after Wrestlemania, Roman took a step down to go fight with Big Show…….whoop-die do. After that, he’s been RIGHT back in the title picture instead of having another mid-card feud to continue to elevate him……it’s like he MUST be at the top of the card and nowhere else instead of taking the time to build this guy up. Ziggler, Sheamus, Neville and Kofi are just there to provide entertainment and Orton is there to give us a little bit of doubt but make no mistake: this is Roman’s to win or loss.

John Cena vs Kevin Owens

Winner: John Cena. The only way I could see Owens win here is that he wins here and gets a US Title shot at Summerslam where Cena finally beats him with his title on the line. Other than that, I believe Cena’s getting his win back (a mere two weeks after losing). I know a lot of people loved (or hated) the moment when Owens won and people thought it was going to be a massive turning of the corner for the WWE (although you have those people that believe this was a HORRIBLE decision and they just screwed John Cena by having him fall to this minor leaguer) but will all of that be rectified if Cena wins here tonight? Whether Cena or Owens wins, the feud must continue (the US Title has got to be on the line at some point). If Cena wins, they could have a rematch at Summerslam with the belt on the line where Owens maybe wins the belt or Cena wins the feud. If Owens wins here then there definitely needs to be a title match at Summerslam where Cena could retain the title (build it up like Cena has more big match experience or title match experience or something) or have Owens win the title. What NOT to do is to have Cena run roughshod over this guy like he did Rusev and others in the past. John Cena is at that point where I believe he is just like Shawn Michaels circa 2002-2010 and Bret Hart when he wasn’t champion: the steadying force in the mid-card that puts on great matches and builds up the next generation of stars. Or you could compare him to Undertaker and Kevin Owens is his Mankind. Either way, I think Cena is doing just fine in that gatekeeper role that he’s in and probably because he’s a better fit for it than Orton is. Either way, I believe they are going to have Cena win this time to maybe set up a third match at Summerslam because I just can’t see them dropping Cena twice to one guy clean.

WWE Tag Team Title match: The New Day (c) vs The Prime Time Players

Winners: The New Day. I guess we can all expect Kofi to not work this match since he’s wrestling later on. I guess this match has some interest or whatever but it feels like a standard order title defense for the sake of it. With Cesaro and Kidd out at the moment, it leaves the door open for other teams to challenge New Day for the belts. I don’t really have much to say about this one except that the New Day will keep going strong.

Intercontinental Title match: Ryback (c) vs Big Show

Winner: Ryback. Because…..you know……BIG SHOW’S GOTTA HAVE A TITLE SHOT DESPITE DOING NOTHING TO EARN IT!!!! I swear, if we get Ryback vs Kane at Summerslam, then we will have a problem. Once again, why don’t they build someone else up here? However, I think the answer is that they really have nobody else……what other heel can challenge for the IC Title at this moment other than Big Show, Kane, Sheamus or Wade Barrett? That’s something that needs to be rectified and done soon. I expect Ryback to get the easy win here to keep on chugging along.

If there are any more matches, I give a prediction in the predictions column on Inside Pulse. Thank you for joining me and have a lovely day!

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