Metalhead Reviews Tough Enough 2015- Episode 1: Hot-tubs and Hair Conditioners.

And here we are for the long-awaited (according to WWE) premiers of the Sixth season of Though Enough. We’ve already met the contestants somewhat, the big question was what kind of format they would use. Turns out it’s gonna be a back an forth affair between Live segments (in a small studio with the judges) and taped bits. Judges Paige, Daniel Bryan and Hulk Hogan were introduced by show co-hosts Chris Jericho and Renée Young. Well it’s Jericho’s show really, Renée seems to be there just to call out names and smile. Some generic talk from the judges, they’re looking for stars, sparkles, stand-outs, personalities and whatnot. Hogan was, of course, completely at ease here, Bryan seemed to have fun in that slightly sarcastic way of his and Paige looked a bit flustered. Then again she hasn’t the easiest job in the world right now, trying to stand out in a group including Hogan, Bryan and Jericho.

We switch to Orlando City stadium (did I say that right?), and to this season’s trainers Booker T, Lita and Billy Gunn who welcomes the contestants with some parachute sprints, carrying bags as heavy as the person’s bodyweight and a long climb up to join Mr Ass. Tanner pulverizes everybody, the girls beat out the rest of the boys and ZZ (aka Gator, the alligator wrestler) nearly dies completing the challenge. That guy’s physical condition compares to mine (and I have various forms of arthritis, scoliosis and some other fun stuff). But he has a wacky personality so he”ll go far, except in the challenges of course.

Back the the Performance center, which will serve as the contestants place to live for this season. The rather simple accommodations don’t seem to have the approval of Dianna, who already managed to get on my nerves by showcasing her diamond engagement ring, bragging about her getting married and general “look at me, I’m beautiful” demeanor. After that it’s off to the nearest club for some dance and alcohol, except for not-yet-21 ZZ and patrick who pass the time in the hot-tub. Not really the two I wanted to see in there.

Brazilian Gaby shows off her pole-dancing skills, earning the scorn of some of the other girls. Come on ladies, nothing wrong with pole-dancing, it’s a fine art that showcases various skills… And assets… And stuff. Anyway, arent most of you making a living by strutting around in tiny bikini’s? So shut up and let Gaby dance as much as she wants! MMA fighter Tanner enjoys the attentions of the ladies, while the Muscle-head Club grumbles and resent not only the fact that “the small guy”, beat their asses during the challenge, but that he also has the gall to brag about it. Oh the rotten dog. Apparently he’s into conditioning his hair also. Makes him a bad guy for sure. Reality check guys, who’s the guy surrounded by girls right now? Right…

Back at the performance center, Sara Lee and Daria joins Patrick and ZZ in the hot-tub (See? That’s much better) only for ZZ to give us a rant about soup with meat needing spices and ending up going full monty, precipitating the departure of the three others. As he would say to Miz later: “Well it was worth a shot.” Good going there, ZZ.

Next morning and Billy Gunn wakes everybody up with a megaphone and proceeds to the morning training. Billy was fun here as he clearly is having a blast playing the drill instructor. 3Drama Queen” Diana has suffered a groin injury somehow and is, of course, complaining about it. Tanner once again out-performed everybody else, and the showed off his superior air-conditioning when he let the girls put braids into his air, accompanied by ZZ who’s apparently up for anything as long as there are girls involved. Muscle-head Club grumbles and mocks Tanner again, and, again, guys, who’s having fun with the girls? Yeah, that’s right, Tanner.

Challenge coming up with the obligatory running of the ropes and slamming a bag routine, they have to do as many rotations as they can. Hank “The Hammer” (who’s about as charismatic as the tool he gets his nickname from) boasts he can do 15 to 20 rotations, ZZ goes for 8, Josh goes for 21, Tanner pisses the other guys off again by saying he’ll simply do twice as much as everybody else. I like Tanner, he’s fun. Patrick shows some fire in his angry response to Tanner’s boasts, the others are just like: “Yeah, but he’s a small guy, we’re big muscle-heads, no way he’s beating us”. And of course, Tanner beats everybody with 16 rotations. Only one who comes close is Patrick with 12, Tanner actually managed to do twice as much as the man’s average. Btw Hank did 8, Josh did 9. On the girl’s side, poor little injured Dianna beat out the other girls with 17 rotation. Oh that’s not gonna sit well with some.

And, yes, there it is, drama time as Dianna slips away for some private time with her fiancé while the others are wondering what the hell she’s doing here, since, apparently, she talks of little else than her upcoming marriage and all she has to do for it and how she misses her future husband and how much she hurts and so forth. Sure enough Dianna comes back with her sad face, begging for cuddles and comprehension from the others (opportunistic ZZ enthusiastically joins in the group hug moment) until “Superbitch” Gabi asks why she doesn’t go home if she doesn’t like it here. Ooops. You’ll be interested to know that Dianna can go from a crying, attention begging, cuddle doll to a fire-breathing dragon in 0,5 seconds. First cat-fight of the season ends up with an angry Dianna and a supremely unconcerned Gabi while the other girls fall over themselves giggling. ZZ just looks on with a “girls are crazy but I want one anyway” expression. I don’t know, I don’t have that much experience with reality shows, but I guess they’re trying to paint off Dianna as the sympathetic, misses her loved ones, all American girl and Gabi as the Brazilian Superbitch, but, until now, I kinda hated Dianna (she’s annoying) and liked Gabi (she kicks ass). But this may be just me.

And even more drama as Tanner and Alex (who looks like a Russian mobster) square of yet again, apparently it’s ok that Tanner beats everybody in the challenges but he cannot speak about it. Ever. Or there will be consequences. Or something. Can you spell jealousy? Muscle-head club is unintentionally hilarious. Gotta love that.

And we go back live for judging time, funnily enough Bryan calls out Hank “The Hammer” for saying Tanner is just a little guy he could crush under his thumb. Daniel asks for clarifications, being even smaller than Tanner but not thinking Hank could crush him under his thumb. I’m with you Daniel, kick his ass! Bottom three are ZZ Gator, Boring Hank and “Yeti” Josh who looks as if he’s been asleep the whole time. Hank just looks dumb by now. Landslide victory for wacky ZZ (of course), Hank gets the lowest amount of votes, that will teach him making fun of “small guys” when Daniel Bryan is around.

Overall, I can’t say this was good or bad, this felt like a generic reality sports-show thing or whatever you wanna call it. Some drama, some fun, some rolling of the eyes (whenever Dianna was around), a little bit for everybody. The format at least is dynamic, sometimes a little too much so, and they might have a little too many wrestling personalities on there at the same time, but we’ll see how things go from here. Early favorites are Tanner and Patrick (who showed some fire and personality on occasion). On the female side, “Jersey Devil” Daria and “Superbitch” Gabi kinda stand out. Oh and Olivia who manages to draw all eyes while standing in a room filled with busty models. Quite a feat. Haven’t been able to watch Miz’s Tough Talk yet, but judging from the highlights Miz was enjoying himself. You can watch the highlights here:

And the show’s highlights here:

See you all next week for the second episode, have fun!