Forever Heel: Thank God Jeff Fixed TNA… For All the Rasslin Folk PLUS Top 5 Funniest Things Double J Ever Did

Jeff Jarrett has taken over TNA, and handed GFW to Dixie Carter. It’s true, I have a source.

Jarrett couldn’t save TNA before. Let’s look at some of the awesome stuff Triple J did for TNA when he ran it.

I just want to say that Jarrett is one of my favorite workers. He’s also one of the greatest heels of all time. Now read while I shit all over him.

1) He built a friggin company around some blond midcarder named, Jeff Jarrett. Genius!

Jarrett isn’t Hogan, or Stone Cold, or even Shane Douglas. Nobody cared when Jarrett was NWA Champ, he was like Bockwinkle, or Flair, he was the guy that would usually have the belt. The problem is that Nick Bockwinkle, and Ric Flair are awesome, and Jarrett is the guy that lost to Chyna. Think about it, what has he done that’s topped losing to Chyna?

2) Jarrett hired Russo. You know, the guy that the IWC claims killed WCW? Yeah, Jarrett made him head of creative as soon as Russo was finished with his WCW legal nonsense. In turn, Russo did things like have a midget masterbate in a trash can, he created tons of obvious nonsense heel turns, and had no idea what to do with Monty Brown. If you hate Russo then why root for the guy that will surely hire him to run TNA/GFW creative?

3) Jarrett also holds back talent. He made Somoa Joe a heel, when he was a heel champ because he didn’t want the crowd demanding a Joe Vs Jarrett match.

Jeff also held back LAX, which was the most popular part of TNA at the time. Yes, LAX got more ratings than anything in TNA at the time, and before. Jarrett felt Homicide was better suited for the X-Division, and that Hernandez would do great on his own. Neither of these things happened. He also fired Shelley Martinez ( She was the vampire chick in WWE ECW) because hot Latina chicks will never be popular to white inbred TNA fans.

Jarrett held Raven back, and when Raven finally won his first NWA/TNA Belt, it was untelevised, and he lost it in a untelevised match. Jarrett went into the first TNA Spike Tv show as NWA/TNA champ.

4) Jeff created “Planet Jarrett”, his own personal heel mega-faction. Planet Jarrett had just about every TNA heel in it. Team Canada, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, America’s Most Wanted, Jeff’s personal security team, Abyss (sometimes), and James Mitchell, Nash (he leaves), Monty Brown (more of an ally), Scott Steiner, and Larry Zbyszko, . He also had corrupt refs because he’s a heel, doof.

5) Jarrett came up with the letters T-N-A. At least Hogan was smart enough to attempt to use “Impact Wrestling”. If you notice, most TNA alumni never say they worked for TNA. It’s embarrassing to say you worked for a company that’s name is a crude offshoot of the term, “Tits and Ass”. (sorry to any lady readers.)

6) Jarrett isn’t a big fan of women’s wrestling, and has said, “It doesn’t work”, he finally budged after some prodding by Panda investors.

7) Jarrett couldn’t get TNA a TV deal. Dixie Carter got TNA their TV deals. It’s easier for the IWC to hate Dixie, and pile on here. I’m not surprised, most of the IWC is overly macho young men, and it makes them feel powerful to pile on, and attack a woman. Yes, that’s a metaphor for what you think, and we all know it’s true.

8) Jarrett appeals to redneck rasslin good Ol boys. Hey, you know who is excited about TNA’s new direction? Good Old JR, and his old school southern buddies. Finally they’ll have a wrestling show that isn’t run by “them damn idiot women”, because women don’t have “head for rasslin” because running a wrestling fed is fucking rocket science.

Get ready for the Bunkhouse Brawls everyone.

Well be leaving TNA for the next few weeks because you guys need a break from Orlando. I’d like to take a look at a few heelish PPV’s, and look over the best wrestling merchandise for today’s modern man, of heeling.

Funniest Things Double J ever did.

5) Dressed like Jeff Hardy, and danced just like him. God it was great.

4) Tried to learn some MMA moves by joining a MMA class for children. He ended up putting little kids in armbars and leg locks.

3) Before a match in WCW, he had a truck full of guitars pulled up to the ring.

2) Roadie (his sidekick, and the future Road Dogg) hold back the arms of fans trying to high-five Double J.

1) In WCW, Jarrett created his own shrine to himself, in a bathroom. His guitar  was set up in the sink, and there were candles, and pictures of himself all over.

Heel of the Week is the Misogynistic Redneck IWC fans. We really don’t need these guys in the scene anymore, it’s the 21st Century. They make us look bad.

Tags: , , , , , ,