Metalhead Reviews Tough Enough 2015, Episode 2: Alligators and Hot Pies

And we’re back for the second episode of Tough Enough and our panel of judges with Daniel Bryan wanting more beards, Paige admitting she’s bored by most contestants until now and Hogan calling Paige “Brother” and expressing some level of sadistic pleasure at the thought of chopping them down one at the time. Jericho and Rénee are there too, Rénee kindly explaining the rules again and Jericho pointing at camera’s.

We switch to the performance center for the fallout of last week’s elimination (as a reminder Hammered Hank was eliminated) with soon the whole group joining Sara lee, Daria and Josh and, of course starting to argue. What it came down too is “Not a Barbie” Amanda resenting anyone for thinking she’s a Barbie,  and asking Dianna what  having a fiancée has to do with wrestling. Good question actually. Dianna stating it was alright if everybody was against her, followed by being called “Princess Dianna” which she hated. And finally Alex and Patrick having an argument about whether it was necessary to know anything about WWE’s history in order to work with WWE, which ended with a “knowledge means nothing” quote from Alex.

So in a nutshell, Not A Barbie is still a Barbie, Dianna is a Princess and Alex is an idiot. Difficult to argue with any of those.

And off to the swamps we go, to meet trainers Billy Gunn, Booker T and Lita and some alligators. To prove they have courage they must swim across part of the swamp, get on a boat, pick up a NXT Champion belt ans swim back. Dianna immediately shares with us that she got an intense fear of dark water from watching Lake Placid. Patrick mentions he can’t swim. The rest just strip. See? I knew there was a reason why all those bikini models were chosen. And of they go with ZZ splashing enthusiastically in a swamp filled with Gators and the Princess outsmarting everybody by taking the route that allows her to run the longest, which would earn her some resentment from the others later. That’s just because THEY didn’t think of that.

Despite her earlier misgivings Dianna goes through this assignment at the same rate as the Big Show through a table filled with hamburgers. Mada struggles, Patrick Cat-paddles for all he’s worth and Alex kinda drowns after only 10 meters. Booker T trows some life vests out there and Alex literally has to get rescued. Lessons of the day: 1. Muscles don’t float. 2. They are not necessarily a sign of good physical condition either. While Alex plays Russian submarine, Patrick tries to get his hands on a life vest, who refuses to cooperate. He is saved by Lita who points out that he can actually stand up if he wants too. After some more floundering, Patrick finally does the smart thing, revealing he was trying to drown himself in not quite waist-deep water. Hilarious.

Dianna wins this one hands down (she was part of her school’s swimming team, you know) and Tanner and ZZ are the best on the male side, ZZ looks as he just went out to swim with Dolphins. Best friends Forever, Tanner and Josh, argue once more because, according to Josh, Tanner cheated by taking a route that allowed him to run sooner. Little shoving match ensues, Tanner looks ready to go alligator on Josh’s ass, Josh goes hohoho. What, is he the Christmas Yeti now? Billy Gunn gives Daria a hard time for somehow loosing her belt in the swamp. Tears soon follow. Aaaaw.

Back at the performance center, and Josh and tanner are still going at it. Yes, we get it, you don’t like each-other. Georgia comforts Daria and express her annoyance at Dianna’s perceived cheating. Meanwhile last week’s angry cats Gabi and Dianna forge a new alliance. What? Patrick suggests that, since the Princess and the SuperBitch are friends now, they should kiss and make up. Oh that Patrick sure is a crafty one. Hey perhaps Josh and Tanner should also kiss and make up… Just kidding.

Mada shows his big teddy-bear side while on the phone with his family. That still is one scary teddy-bear though.

Challenge time again and, lo and behold, Roman Reigns is waiting for the contestants. The mere sight of him is enough to get Gabi wet apparently. And that’s a quote. Reigns growls out some generic though guy stuff, we get to see bull Dempsey perform his finisher on some guy and this week’s challenge is all about taking a bump. Or, in English, falling flat on your back. After they had the special challenge of taking a fall from a platform on the top rope unto a (extra-padded) ring. Patrick nailed this one while ZZ had all the grace of a falling sandbag. On the woman’s side Georgia did quite well, winning her first challenge after a couple of second places, while Dianna once more proved how awkward she is whenever she steps between those ropes.

Back to drama as Daria taunts The Princess with her new nickname, causing Dianna to flee the bedrooms with a gleeful Gabi in tow. Daria soon follows with her own personal Barbie-doll Amanda. Just a bunch of cats hissing in a bag from that point on really. Oh and Tanner and Georgia having a blast eavesdropping at the door. Kids! All this was followed by the sight of a completely flabbergasted ZZ who became a (very willing) victim in Dianne’s “let’s switch rooms” scheme. ZZ’s pearl of wisdom of this week is about hot pies. Go for it ZZ.

And we’re Live again as we welcome the contestants in the studio. Daniel Bryan first puts Alex on the grill for saying knowledge means nothing. Hulk Hogan kinda summed it up nicely by stating that if you’re really passionate about becoming something, you should a least know a little about it. Makes sense. ZZ got accused of gimmick-infringement for using the word pie. he rebounded by a classic: “Woman are like pie, when they’re hot they can burn you, when they’re cold, they’re sweet”. Oh, That’s what he meant. OK Then. Dianna got some compliments before Paige absolutely destroyed Amanda and Sara Lee, telling them to step up or get out. Wow, Paige wasn’t well pleased with those two. Finally Hogan called out Mada, Alex and Daria for failing miserably at the Swamp challenge. Dianne, Sara Lee and Alex were the bottom three and, not surprisingly, Alex got booted out. What was a surprise was Sara Lee getting 50% of the votes. The Quiet Little Mouse has some fans out there, apparently.

Some final thoughts: Tough talk with Miz was rather funny again, with Miz displaying lots of confidence and gusto and clearly having a blast putting the contestants on the hot-spot. Jericho Jr? Well not in this show he isn’t. And yes, Gabi was questioned about her Roman reigns wet dreams and, yes her husband was in the audience. This IS reality TV after all.

ZZ continues to be the flea in the protein shake in this whole thing, but, gotta admit, he continues to be hilarious.

We saw more from Georgia and that was to the good. Daria got more vocal too and that wasn’t really good. She’s has that kind of grating sound whenever she elevates her voices. Dear gods Daria, calm down, being the Jersey Devil doesn’t have to mean getting on everyone’s nerves. I means she almost got me to feel sympathy for Dianne this week. You stop doing that right now!

I like Billy Gunn here, he’s clearly enjoying himself in his role and it shows.

Wow, Paige showed some fire, something tells me she didn’t make any friends here.

And in closing, my pick for next week’s elimination is: Amanda. Feel free to chime in and see you all next week for more Tough Enough fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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