Forever Heel: Christian Facts Plus Top 5 Evil Americans That Defected to Canada

I know this is old news to a lot of you, but I didn’t notice Christian was officially retired. He has enough money, and enough concussions. I thought we could remember Christian’s finest moments together? No? You don’t want to? Sssshhhhhh, it’ll be alright.

Christian was the second WWE Light Heavyweight Champion. The WWE used to forget about this belt, and guys would have ultra long title reigns. Christian wasn’t one of those guys, he actually lost the belt to Gilberg. Gilberg actually held on to the WWE LHC for about 18 months. I think he toured a revived Smokey Mountain Wrestling, OVW, and probably Japan. WWE likes to send titles they don’t care about to Japan.

Christian, Edge, and Kurt Angle joined forces as Team EAK. (It’s pronounced “Ek”.) The group would later include Ryno, and become Team RECK. Edge, Christian, and Angle would partake in “Edge’s Birthday”, the actual “Greatest segment in WWE Raw history.”, it even includes E&C playing Triple H’s entrance theme on the kazoo. Priceless.

Christian is the Rock’s favorite wrestler. When the evil Hollywood Rock invaded Monday Night Raw in 2003, Rock seemed to have chosen Christian as a lackey. While the Rock couldn’t care less if Christian lived or died, Christian took the fact that he was the “Rock’s Favorite Lackey” to mean he was “The Rock’s Favorite Wrestler”. Christian was destroyed by Goldberg in an attempt to impress The Rock.

Christian has a real bad temper, and was once prone to throwing temper tantrums in the ring. His temper carried over to TNA , where he was assigned an anger management coach. His coach was Scott Steiner, and it would’ve been great, but TNA immediately ignored the comedy aspect of this pairing.

Christian was also a member of one of WWE’s greatest factions that WWE killed too soon, The Un-Americans. The Un-Americans consisted of Lance Storm, Test, Regal, Christian, and their unofficial ally, Chris Jericho. The faction was killed off after Test didn’t take a hint about getting a haircut, and Christian refused to cut his hair. This was done by Stephanie out of spite, not because of any insensitive 9/11 bullshit. Remember after Vince dies, Steph will have full control over creative. An out of touch Vince might not be so bad?

He’s held the Tag Belts with Edge, Chris Jericho, and Lance Storm. This is why the greatest wrestlers come from Canada and the worst wrestlers come from Philadelphia, and NYC.

Finally, Christian is the greatest because he had that Owen Hart Heel Spirit. You could plug Christian in anywhere, and he was ready. He could take the place of an absent heel, and make the match look like he and the face were old rivals. Yeah, that’s Owen Hart good.

Top 5 Evil Americans That Defected to Canada

5) Jim Duggan

4) Doug Furnas

3) Elix Skipper

2) Brian Pillman

1) Jim the Anvil Neidhart

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