Break The Walls Down: 10 Thoughts on… Hulk Hogan – The Death Of An Immortal


Break The Walls Down – 10 Thoughts On Hulk Hogan or The Death of An Immortal

Unless you’re lacking in ears, it’s likely you’ve heard by now that Hulk Hogan has bounded full steam into a spot of bother, brother. I sadly missed the Inside Pulse Round Table discussion on the matter, so, just a few days on, I’ve held a Round Table with myself. It’s more of a Round Coffee Table.

First Thought
My very first thought when the news broke, was of Curtis Axel. Genuinely. The only gimmick that has ever even slightly worked for WWE’s charisma void centres entirely around Hogan. And with Hulk’s career now seemingly made as non-existent as Chris Benoit’s, hopefully the non-perfect Perfect will finally slip off the radar too.

Second Thought
Hogan said the ‘N word’. A lot. That’s not good. One thing that is indelibly etched into my mind from WWE history is Vince McMahon himself using the very same word, on a live PPV, in front of Booker T and his lovely Queen. At first I thought “What a hypocrite. Are you going to remove yourself from all programming and merchandise etc?” After some consideration, it seems to me that a fictional character saying it in a satirical segment is one thing, but being disparaging about an entire race whilst using it in such a phenomenally negative manner on a secretly recorded videotape is quite another.

Third Thought
While WWE are entirely correct in their zero tolerance policy on racism, having every trace of Mr America obliterated from company history raises a number of issues. Although The Rock has possibly usurped him, Hogan is still one of the most globally recognised faces of the industry and is eternally connected to it. He essentially instigated the sports entertainment transition, and while I’m not suggesting he should continue working for the company in the capacity he was in up until last week, eradicating him from the Hall Of Fame website is to expel him from his extraordinary achievements, and by proxy, WWE’s. Good people do bad things. Bad people do good things. Hell, Hall Of Famer Steve Austin has been convicted of domestic abuse; Hall Of Famer Scott Hall has committed murder. Both still work for the company. There’s plenty of further examples. I can’t help but feel condoning their behaviour highlights the severity of punishment for the man who has done more for the sport than any other. Racism is not acceptable on any level, but to create a company mythology without Hulk Hogan would be like making Bolognese without pasta. Delicious, yet with something conspicuously absent.

Fourth Thought
It’s probably prudent to amalgamate the previous two thoughts. There’s a differentiation between Hulk Hogan, the vitamin taking, prayer saying TV character, and Terry Bollea, the attention-seeking, racist megalomaniac.

Fifth Thought
Isn’t Hogan a devout Christian? Didn’t the Lord Saviour Jesus Christ liberate him from a potentially devious lifestyle? Either the Big Man’s offspring has a questionable definition of the word ‘saviour’, or The Hulkster doesn’t realise that Jesus was a Jew from Western Asia. This would therefore mean that his racism is directed exclusively at the black community.

Sixth Thought
Hogan must REALLY despise Darren Young. He’s black AND gay.

Seventh Thought
Isn’t it abominable that Hogan slept with a woman who was married to a man who legally changed his name to ‘Bubba The Love Sponge Clem’? That’s his actual, legal, name. It’s on all forms of his identification. Although presumably not on his passport, because changing your name to something so irreversibly dumb suggests you don’t have enough brain capacity to contemplate foreign travel.

Eighth Thought
When things like this happen to celebrities, it’s not long before I worry for their families. It can take such a long time to recover from a major indiscretion by a loved one in the public eye. More often than not it’s impossible to escape. On personal, professional and public levels, families can be forever tainted by an individual family member’s idiocy. In this case though, I couldn’t care less. The Bolleas are so unlikeable I’d rather subject myself to an hour of Mason Ryan matches than spare a thought for them.

Ninth Thought
This is just further proof that all entertainers from the 80’s are the spawn of the devil. Paedophiles, murderers, rapists, racists. Saville, Simpson, Cosby, Hogan. My childhood was a cauldron of lies.

Tenth Thought
Hogan is 61. He’s old. Old people are racist. Therefore surely the biggest shock here is that he could procure a sustained erection on a sex tape. He has an outdated view on political correctness, as I’m sure many of his generation do. As much as views are changing for the better, it will take further generations to eliminate such blatant racism and race misconceptions, and even then it will never be completely erased. Hogan is a remnant of a bygone era, and unless society regresses substantially over the coming years, we won’t see the Red and Yellow warrior on WWE screens for quite some time, if ever.

The reaction to Hogan’s outburst has been fascinating. All the black guys have condemned him. And guess who’s defending him. A bunch of white guys claiming they’ve never noticed racist behaviour, and Dennis Rodman. A man who departed reality before he was even born. Make of all that what you will.

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