10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of CampAuditions

Hello and welcome to another thought parade of thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp! And from now on, I am going to abbreviate the title to WHAS. It will save all of us a lot of time and prolong my carpal tunnel syndrome from slowly turning my hand into a gnarled claw.

On today’s episode, Claude helps Susie find new leads for the camp musical, Electro City. Gail tries to figure out the truth about Jonas. And the Falcon lands…. eee!

So away we go!

1. Best cold open yet

At the top of this episode, we get to see a frustrated astrophysics professor as he tries to get published. But he doesn’t play the game very well as we go along we see him sink deeper and deeper into his anger at not being able to be published. You know who the dean of the school is? It’s Toby from The West Wing. If you watch The West Wing, you know what a big deal that is. Anyway, this unnamed professor eventually loses his shit and is fired from the university. So he goes out to the country and decides to rent a small cottage. Where is that cottage? Right on the edge of Camp Firewood. And that’s how this random, hilarious montage fits into the show universe. I wonder how he’ll fit into the campers stories…

2. Did I mention Claude is played by John Slattery?

I don’t think I did. That is an oversight on my part. Because he is amazing as the big theater director from New York City. In this episode, we get to see the auditions for the leads in Electro City after yesterday when the former leads got banged up in a stunt gone wrong. The first to audition is a young woman doing an amazing rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But she gets shouted down by Claude. “You weren’t good! Do you want me to be honest? To gut you like a fish??” Watching Amy Poehler’s face as Claude is shouting hysterically is absolutely hilarious. She looks like she’s having a very intense sexual awakening.

3. The Falcon arrives and he is Bad. Ass.

The second Mad Men alum to show up this week is Jon Hamm, as the assassin The Falcon. He finds his way to a little convenience store outside Camp Firewood where a bunch of punk teens are messing up the store. In one swift kick, he knocks them over. “Who are you?!” they ask, writhing on the floor in pain. “I’m the Falcon,” he says. “President Reagan’s hired assassin. Asswipe.” Then he walks out and blows up the store. Also, if you listen closely you can hear one of the girls moaning in pain “my uterus!” Gold.

4. Paul Rudd is a Paul Stud

In today’s episode, Andy continues trying to seduce Katie, culminating in an audition for the play (which he gets!). But his first attempt is maybe the smoothest pick up line ever uttered: “Hey, Katie. I’m thinking about watching you ride a horse later. What do you think?” Paul Rudd never ceases to be at the same time exceptionally silly and also weirdly charming. He doesn’t even really have to try. He just stands there and he exudes lovability. I guess you call that charisma.

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5. Weird Al Yankovic is the worst hypnotist ever

On the plus side, we get to see Weird Al for a hot second. But his hypnotism is basically just telling kids to do weird stuff and them doing it. I don’t think any of those kids are actually hypnotized. Something’s fishy here. I smell a fraud!

6. These kids curse like sailors

I have heard some pretty foul language from these kids. None of the adults playing kids curse like the actual kids do. I think my favorite one so far is “eat my dick captain fuck pants!” That’s pretty aggressive. I don’t think I was that fluent in cursing at that age. Come to think of it though, most of the heavy cursing is coming from that one dickish redhead whose name I can’t remember. He’s a total bully and if I had to guess, he probably has an abusive father. Is that offensive? I can never tell anymore…

7. There is some sexual chemistry brewing and yep, Ben is definitely gay

Finally, Michael Ian black is given something interesting. By the way he’s talking to Ben (Bradley Cooper), it seems pretty clear that he’s going to be the new romantic interest. But what about Susie (Amy Poehler)?? Things are coming to a head and Ben is going to have to face up to who he really is. Maybe it’ll happen in the pants of that zoot suit (which, I have to admit, is pretty impressive craftsmanship). Either way, watching Bradley Cooper fall in love with Michael Ian Black is glorious to behold. I sometimes forget what a spectacular actor he is, even in really silly things like WHAS (see I used it! I TOLD YOU I’D USE IT).

8. Enter Kristen Wiig: The Bourgeoisie Sexpot

Over at Camp Tiger Claw, the boys are discussing the attractiveness of Ayn Rand (“I’m not saying she’s attractive! Her ideas are attractive!”). Kristen Wiig enters with her skimpy pink tennis outfit and her thinly veiled sexual metaphors. How old are these kids supposed to be? Because that girl knows how to make a sexual innuendo (“Gonna do some rowing. I think we’ll need a cock…..swing.”) I’m looking forward to seeing more of her. Because she’s funny. Not because- I… because she’s funny.

What.

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9. I missed Michael Showalter this episode

Coop only had a couple lines this episode, and it was mostly just jokes at his expense. His absence was felt. I think he might be my favorite character.

10. Jackie Brazen, world famous hypnotist, is actually The Falcon is disguise!!!

I actually have some questions about this. Since it turns out he’s The Falcon inside a robot suit, where’s the real Jackie Brazen? Because he clearly doesn’t possess any hypnotic powers (I knew it!), is there a real Jackie Brazen? Did The Falcon make him up? If so, how did he manage to form a reputation so quickly? So many questions with answers that are totally irrelevant and not the point of this show so I will stop asking them. Absurdity reigns supreme. I just have to remember that…

Check out earlier thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp below!

10 Thought on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp – Activities

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp – Camper Arrive & Lunch

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