10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of CampStaff Party

Welcome back to Camp Firewood! Where the air is sweet and thick with teenage hormones! And I’m not just using that as an arbitrary weird thing to say in the intro. Tonights episode was just dripping in the sexuality. By my count, all but one of tonights storylines centered around sex; how to get it, who to have it with, and what to use to make sure you don’t have babies. It was a good one folks. Welcome to the Staff Party.

On tonight’s episode, Victor and Coop discover sex is a lot more complicated than they thought. Elsewhere in a plot I don’t care about, Lindsey has to file her article. And Andy and Katie finally get on the same page, launching something I’ve been begging for all season. So get ready kids. Things are about to get steamy.

And now some things I thought about!

1. Dj Skimask!

McKinley and Ben had their first post-kiss moment during the cold open and it was adorable. They are just the best in general. It was really sweet to see them be awkward, then immediately excited as they both realized that they were into it and it wasn’t a mistake. Watching McKinley pop in and out of frame as Ben kept remembering one more thing he wanted to say was priceless. And it turns out…. Ben is DJ Skimask! Who is apparently the DJ for the camp parties. It’s actually just a macguffin, which WHAS is really good at. That is, instilling importance in something that we as viewers didn’t know was important for the sake of comedy. They did it in the last episode with that random guy who delivered the killer evidence. I love that shit.


2. Oh, that weird radio kid is named Artie

I have not mentioned Artie at all this season, mostly because I didn’t know Artie’s name. Artie is the name of that kid doing the radio announcements that have been intercut throughout the season to signify the passage of time. His name is Artie. And apparently he was supposed to be doing camp stuff all day, but instead decided to do a radio show no one was listening to. Weird kid. His name is Artie, but he calls himself the Bee Keeper. Artie is his name. Artie.

3. Wait… how does Lindsey’s story hurt the campers?

In other news, Elizabeth Banks has a plot I don’t care about. Maybe it’s just not as irreverent as I’d like, so I’m super harsh on it, but man with the glut of hilarious characters and stories going on this season, how can I be expected to care about this mundane little romp? Lindsey has her story written (about what exactly is unclear) and has to send it to the editor. But she has a crisis of conscience, saying “she can’t hurt her friends!” who have been her best friends for 12 hours. What I’m super unclear about is how that article in any way could hurt her friends. Is it because it unveils risqué behavior by the staff? Is it becau…

Oh. Oh, it’s a joke. GOD DAMN IT. I have to remember that every plot point is a potential punch line. It wouldn’t hurt them. It’s just making fun of the plot device. That’s actually pretty clever. And indicative of a show that really, really hates plots.

4. Oh, shit! Sherry is real!

Neil (Joe Lo Truglio) has been saying all season that he can’t wait for his girlfriend to arrive. Every one assumed he was making it up. “Oh, Sherry. Sure, Neil. Sure.” But she’s real! And now Neil and Victor (Ken Marino) have some real competition for their race to have sex first! Which has not been mentioned in the past. It doesn’t matter. PLOT DOESN’T MATTER. See, every time I write these articles, I’m fresh off writing a review for Bojack Horseman and plot is REALLY important on that show. Gotta shift gears. Sherry is a punchline. Everything is a punchline. Ev. Ery. Thing.

5. Ninja condoms

Victor gets seduced by the choreographer for Electro/City and gets a real chance to make it during the staff party. But despite all his bluster and braggadocio, he is a virgin and so doesn’t have any rubbers handy. So he shoots off (no pun intended) to the convenience store to get condoms and lube. And a keychain, which scandalizes the woman behind him. The brand of the condoms is Ninja. Is that a joke about premature ejaculation? In and out before she knows it? Is it? Or Is it very late and I’m reading into things too much?

6. Paul Rudd gets the award for being the only person to ever be applauded for brining out a guitar at a party

I mean, he’s Paul Rudd, so he gets a pass on basically everything. But you know when you’re at a party and there’s always that one guy who has to play the guitar really loud so nobody can do anything except listen to him play? God, I hate that guy. But when it’s Paul Rudd… I love that guy. So kudos to Paul for getting a room full of people to be excited about someone playing a guitar during a social gathering. And also for him and Katie finally making out!

whas staff party main

7. Oh, jeez, poor Kevin

Kevin! I haven’t talked about Kevin all season! He’s the only main character who is actually played by a kid on this show. The way I understand it, once the kids hit puberty, they turn into people who look like adults. It happened earlier this season with a girl who’s name I can’t remember when she got her period. Getting off track. Kevin has been in love with Amy all season (day, whatever) and gets his chance when the whole crew is playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. She even gets picked to go in the closet with him, but then gets rejected by the group and instead she goes in with that annoying bully kid who’s name I also can’t remember. But in a moment of intense bravery, he tells Amy that he wants her to be his girlfriend in a speech to the whole room. But… she rejects him. She doesn’t like him that way. Ouch! And that’s the only scene we get with Kevin the whole episode! Damn, that’s some cold hard Camping truths! You don’t always get the girl. Especially at Camp…

8. Coop’s night gets a little… hairy

It’s finally happening. Yaron (David Wain) orchestrates a situation so that he, Donna (Lake Bell) and Coop (Michael Showalter) are all alone in the same room. Donna and Yaron start making out, much to Coop’s alarm. But Yaron just wants them to experience the true meaning of “kibbutz.” Community. Which means, apparently, kissing from the waist and engaging in a threesome. This is too much for Coop (he’s way too much of a nice guy) and he storms out. When Donna follows him, he tells her she’s not the same girl she was last summer (yuh, she grew boobs) and decides to take off. It was a great moment for Coop who’s been under Donna’s thumb all season. It’s also another great moment of camp reality. People change. And that sucks. Especially when they want you to have a threesome with that weird foreign guy.

9. No Gene this episode 🙁

No comment on this really. I just always want more Christopher Meloni in my life.

10. It’s happening. THE CLASS WAR IS HAPPENING. 

Guys, I called it. Blake is calling for a class war from Camp Tiger Claw! That must be the season finale! After Blake espied Katie and Andy kissing from across the lake, he became furious and rouses his fellow Tiger Claw-ers into a frenzy. Guys. Class War!! CLASS WAR!!!!

Check out past installments of 10 thoughts with WHAS:FDOC below!

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer – Electro/City

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer – Dinner

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer – Auditions

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer – Activities

10 Thoughts on Wet Hot American Summer – Campers Arrive & Lunch

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