Welcome to Secret Wars Declassified!
The long stretches between the main mini-series are worse than living under God Emperor Doom’s reign! Marvel knows how to torture its most ardent followers @_@ Molecule Man is more integral than most readers may have realized! Two mini-series (they all are, in actuality) sail off into the sunset. There are four other #4 issues aside from the concluding books, four #3’s, and one #2. This is on top of #5 for SECRET WARS proper. Twelve total is the amount once more. This dozen is Daring, Delightful, and Divulging!!!
SECRET WARS #5 (OF 8)
For my thorough review of this issue, click on the link.
SECRET WARS: BATTLEWORLD #4 (of 4)
“Silver Surfer vs. Galactus” (10 pages) James Stokoe, VC’s Joe Sabino
Norrin Radd teams up with Cain Marko the Juggernaut to slay Fin Fang Foom: Eater-of-a-Thousand. Their combined efforts are successful. He brings the entire crocodile in pieces to his master Galactus who has enthralled the city of Zenn-La. More importantly, Norrin’s great love Shalla-Bal must be freed. When the Silver Surfer returns, Galactus has devoured all the citizens!! The slave turns on the master. Norrin obliterates the gigantic glutton. His love is forever lost :( [7.5/10]
Domain #4: Egyptia
Most original battle maneuver: Icarus Special – Juggernaut tosses and Surfer blasts through an opponent.
“Silver Surfer vs. Maestro” (10 pages) Peter David, Daniel Valadez, David Curiel, VC’s Joe Sabino
The Maestro’s debauchery is disrupted by news of an intruder who has made his/her way to the coveted Trophy Room. Maestro is left with his mouth agape since the vault is supposed to be impenetrable. Some goons accompany him. Lo and behold: it’s his former friend Norrin Radd the Silver Surfer. Norrin wants his board rightfully returned. Maestro punches him and they land on the street. Citizens panic. Surfer summons his broken board, consoles it, patches it up, and flies off. He tells the once-called Hulk that he is now affiliated with another team and another gamma-irradiated powerhouse. He flies off in contentment. Maestro has egg on his face! [6/10]
Domain #2: Dystopia
Separation anxiety: One can never keep apart the Surfer and his shiny board!
INHUMANS: ATILLAN RISING #4
“The Silent Horror” (20 pages) Charles Soule, John Timms, Roberto Poggi, Frank D’Armata, VC’s Clayton Cowles
Triton and the others teleport into the Northern Sea. The manphibian is on it and creates an air bubble. He spares the group from being fish food. They eventually reach the surface. Mega-Rad powers up since there is gamma in the air. That’s no coincidence. They’ve landed in Dystopia, domain of the Maestro!!
Score ten for Atillan: the leader of the resistance has been captured. Sterilon beings his unpleasant interrogation of Black Bolt. Medusa enters to oversee matters. She is not unreasonable. They engage in a lengthy conversation with details that raise eyebrows: (1) BB is Inhuman by birth but never underwent Terrigenesis because it is a form of control, (2) Inhumans must be registered. Refusal leads to imprisonment. (3) Doom allows conflicts to continue and for subjugation to fester among the various domains, (4) New Atillan is one of Doom’s brainwashing machines. Medusa’s reign is a farce! The Thor Corps arrive to deliver the latest catch to God Emperor Doom. Medusa tries to stall but her reasoning is cast aside. She contemplates the next course of action. Just before the vessel is to depart, she tells the Corps that BB remains with her. She cares not for insubordination. She blows a whistle. Lockjaw materializes. She instructs him to fetch. [7.5/10]
Times two: Fin Fang Foom makes another appearance! Much love for this alliterative oddball.
MASTER of KUNG-FU #4 (of 4)
“Master and Apprentice” (20 pages) Haden Blackman, Dalibor Talajić, Goran Sudžuka, Miroslav Mrva, VC’s Travis Lanham
Shang-Chi’s origin is more a creation with a combination of mystical artifacts and cosmic forces. His young life was purposely filled with misery and pain to harden him. He scoffs at this since he was probably spawned from the loins of one of his father’s many concubines. Red Sai and Rand-K’ai have heard the tale but now it is time to fight to the death! Red Sai pulls a dirty trick: the tip of her dagger had poison. Shang falls quickly. Rand is outraged and sees the act as dishonourable. Shang knows the truth: Sai killed Rand’s master. She had been defeated by Tuan. Shang decided to cover up for her so that her village would be spared. Rand uses his Iron Fist to withdraw the poison. He knows that Shang is honourable and worthy of living another day. The odds are insurmountable but he’s up to the task. Red Sai gives him one of her ribbons that he wraps around his head. Father and son engage in combat. Shang accesses most of the Ten Rings against Zheng Zu. Shang’s latest power unbeknownst to his dear old dad is the Gorgon’s Eye. With that, the Emperor is petrified. Shang becomes the new emperor. Kitten is his star pupil. A new dynasty begins and another saga is in the making! [8/10]
Love letter: The creative team made this book in honour of Bruce Lee!
GHOST RACERS #3 (of 4)
“” (20 pages) Felipe Smith, Juan Gedeon, Tamra Bonvillain, VC’s Cory Petit
Robbie Reyes is on the run! His Battle Charger is a Spirit of Ignition named Eli. He informs Robbie that all the victories are attributed to him, not the driver. To make themselves less conspicuous, the Charger transforms into a non-descript vehicle. The ruse lasts less than a few minutes. The others are in hot pursuit!! They are pawns of Zadkiel. The fighting stops when Carter Slade sees that Robbie speaks true. All the five racers remember their former lives. They must break free once and for all. The epiphany is ephemeral since Zadkiel is wise on them and teleports them to his torture chamber. Robbie managed to escape much to Zadkiel’s chagrin. Arcade tells him not to fret since he has an ace in the hole: young bro Gabe is the newest racer. Robbie has no choice but to return to the track! [6/10]
Keep on turning: Gabriel Reyes is behind the Big Wheel. Remember that lame-o?
STAR-LORD & KITTY PRYDE #2
“” (20 pages) Sam Humphries, Alti Firmansyah, Jessica Kholinne, VC’s Joe Sabino
Love can make you blind, or in this case completely oblivious!! Peter Quill is pining after the wrong woman. The Mutdroids, a mesh of Mandroids and New Mutants, have been flushed out of their hiding place – a pizza parlour. Peter thinks Kitty is off her rocker but she assures him that they are in the right spot since the quintet are anomalies. Kitty is ferocious and vicious. She is swift in their takedown. Cypher tells her where to find Gambit. She kills him once he realizes her ID and blows up the entire place to cover her tracks. Kitty wakes up with the sun on her face. Peter has freed himself from her cuffs. The two argue vehemently over their differences. She gives her life story: a spy turned scientist so that many may live. Peter offers to help her on her quest. They reach the Doomenheim Museum where Gambit is hiding. Kitty spots his case with the anomaly inside. Ambush!! Widget, a futuristic version of Kitty, wraps the twosome in a metal coil. Gambit comes out and tells her that he has found his ultimate prize: Kitty Pryde herself!! [6.5/10]
SECRET WARS 2099 #4 (of 5)
“” (20 pages) Peter David, Will Sliney, Antonio Fabela, VC’s Joe Caramagna
Herc and Roman bond by drinking. They have both consumed untold amounts of alcohol yet they are not even buzzing. Alchemax guards come for Roman. Herc opposes them, much to Roman’s appreciation. Captain America turns traitor!! Rather, her eyes are finally open to the truth. She opposes her employer’s mandate of arresting the Defenders. The trigger word has no effect on her. Sonny tries to help the Vision. She is freaking out big time with portents of doom. The key is Roberta, but like all seers, the vagueness is all that’s relayed. Herc comes to Cap’s side. Tyler Stone, Miguel’s dad, wants to converse with his son. The interaction is less than pleasant. Iron Man busts in and tells them that Cap is AWOL. Herc’s strength comes in handy as he frees the other Defenders. The non-team escape. IM tries to take down Cap. She dodges him at every turn. Harry, Roberta’s husband, appears uttering the trigger word. She resists. Strange snatches her in the nick of time. The deprogramming worked. Cap takes off her helmet. She is Roberta once more and completely freaked out by the surroundings and the odd beings in front of her. [7/10]
PLANET HULK #4
“The Kingdom” (20 pages) Sam Humphries, Marc Laming, Jordan Boyd, VC’s Travis Lanham
Steve Rogers awakens, finding himself hogtied, and ready to be a slave of the fire pits. Doc Green comes to his rescue. Steve has a flashback to his time with Bucky. They both found their way as gladiators in the Killiseum. Their home is long gone but they have each other. Bucky gives him an inspiring speech to fuel his hope. Steve fashions a star on his tunic. He tells Doc that he’ll storm the Red King’s castle with or without assistance. Doc reveals knowing Bucky’s grandmother. Steve demands answers, especially his true identity. Doc stays mum. The mystery remains for now as Devil Dinosaur reappears. Doc is in absolute awe of the T-Rex’s return. Steve makes his way to the throne room. Red King affirms his presence and tells him that Bucky is not a prisoner, he is dead. His corpse was sent to Doom as a gift. With that startling revelation, he raises Bucky’s metal arm and proudly labels it a trophy. [8/10]
YEARS of FUTURE PAST #4
“” (20 pages) Marguerite Bennett, Mike Norton, FCO Plascencia, VC’s Joe Caramagna
Storm is reunited with the former X-Men. Chrissie rallies the concentration camp interned. She is the last mutant born and asks them if they are willing to fight for their freedom. Off they go! Destiny clocks one at her. She is outraged that Chrissie chose not to be enslaved. Cameron shrugs off Pyro’s fire. He is astonished to see that there is mutant enslavement among their own. Magneto arrives with a Sentinel as the cavalry. Cameron does some fact-finding and exposes Magneto as the ultimate betrayer!!! He has the DNA sequences of Kate and her two children. They were meant to be martyrs for President Kelly, not saviours!! Magnus doesn’t deny being a turncoat. Cameron kills him. Chrissie, with misguided affection for her uncle, spars with her brother. Cameron has his own twisted fatalistic view – he wants mutants to become extinct so that they are spared endless persecution. Chrissie knocks him flat on his feet. She refuses to buy into his irrational ideology. [6.5/10]
KORVAC SAGA #3
“” (20 pages) Dan Abnett, Otto Schmidt, Cris Peter, VC’s Clayton Cowles
Captain Mar-Vell and Major Victory conclude their investigation of Carina’s demise. They reminiscence about their tours of duty. They are still great friends despite being on opposing sides. Starhawk is a withered corpse. Moondragon tries to bring him back. Michael Korvac, who kept his powers a secret, restores the astral Guardian. Cap and Major arrive. Cap is flabbergasted. He mentions stars which is a giveaway to his eventual monstrous transformation. Both teams are useless in subduing him. Enter: Korvac. He blasts the Kree captain. Starhawk awakens from his coma and informs Geena and Moondragon that the Madness is leaked psionic energy emitted by one source – Michael Korvac. After Michael restores Mar-Vell, his ascends to omnipotence. Looks like it’s curtains for all parties involved! [5/10]
A-FORCE #3
“” (20 pages) Marguerite Bennett & G. Willow Wilson, Jorge Molina, Craig Yeung, Laura Martin & Matt Milla, VC’s Cory Petit
She-Hulk tries to get her bearings when Sentinels stand in her way. She’s holding her own when she’s zapped by a trio of Thors: Brunnhilde, Sif, and Gamora. Shulkie manages to find her way back to Aracadia via a portal. To the others’ relief, she is safe and sound. She tells them that someone tried to frame Singularity and that there is a traitor among them!! The portal stays open long enough for the three warriors to break through. Medusa wraps up her teammates. She is the one! She-Hulk is distraught. Medusa tells her that a baroness must fulfill her duties and cast all personal feelings aside. In a turn of events, she nestles the Thors and tosses them back from whence they came. Gamora doesn’t go easily. She zaps the red-haired noble. Medusa breathes no more. Nico runs off with Singularity. The silent starry one offers the sorceress a hug. She-Hulk rings the bells as a battle cry. She knows the identity of the double-crosser. Storm provides cloud cover. Nico returns with her new friend. Singularity instructs them to hide within her. [6.5/10]
Sisters do not turn on each other: “Can we cut the green-on-green violence, please?!” – She-Hulk to Gamora.
MRS. DEADPOOL and the HOWLING COMMANDOS #3
“” (20 pages) Gerry Duggan, Salva Espin, Val Staples, VC’s Joe Sabino
Shiklah and the Howlers arrive at Weirdworld. Dracula is obsessed in killing the Invisible Man. He is convinced that the undetected traitor is still alive. He strikes at air with humorous results. Deadpool, in his ghostly form, materializes. He is miffed that Werewolf is flirting with his wifey. No one can see nor hear him except for Frankenstein’s Monster!! DP is less than thrilled. Frankie refuses to follow DP’s orders in letting Shiklah know he’s alive (ish). The motley crew enter the Temple of the Manticore. An unnamed wizard guarding the site is killed. Shiklah pushes aside the tomb along with Frankie. She uncovers the Totem of the Manticore. That item along with the Sceptre will suffice in extinguishing the vampire lord. Living Mummy teleports them outside Dracula’s castle. Speaking of which…he is successful at finding the one-who-cannot-be-seen. He pulls the heart out. Surprise!! It was the Invisible Woman!!! The Man strikes at him with a sword. Dracula uses one of his cronies as a shield. The others arrive to see massive bloodshed and carnage. The Undead Lord is enraged at all those who have turned on him. DP snarkily chastises the readers (writers?) for not having him around to help. [5/10]
Plot twist: Who’d have thunk it?? Invisible Man had a spouse named Barbara.
