Forever Heel: It Doesn’t Look Good For TNA, ROH, and Lucha Underground + Top 5 Stupid Rumors That I know Are BS. Diva Edition


I don’t want you to think this is another insane WWE mark article about these lower feds dying, or outright folding. Each one of these three has a fair chance at staying alive, and a fair chance at folding. If you guys don’t know, I’m more of a money guy as far as wrestling goes. I’m more interested in the money they pull in than the storylines, or my personal grudge against a talent that I hate. To put it bluntly, I believe you’re a success by how much you create and how much money you make. Hence why if I was making $80,000 a year on TNA, and they just had me on camera as Tazz’s mother-in-law, I’d be happy with that. I would never go to WWE, even if the payed 1 million dollars in opportunity because I know, they’ll have me learn to wrestle and put me in a “Skirt on a Pole Match” with Big Vito. See I’m like any talent in wrestling (This is hypothetical, I’m not employed by a fed), I want to do the least and get paid the most. Sure I’ll be in WWE, but I got to still travel all over, pay for everything, and not see my family for weeks. F’ that. In TNA, I can drive to the Impact Zone, or Memphis, or whatever. I don’t need to worry about charity and wearing pink shirts, my name can still be CH Punk, and not Muff Maxwell. I can wear my own gear, and talk to the audience. If TNA falls, and ROH is dimmed down, and Lucha Underground disappears, than I’m stuck in the Indies, or I have a very slim chance of getting in WWE trying to sell my “Muff is the Stuff!” t-shirts.


When wrestling companies fail it hurts the employees involved, and talent. I know the smarks won’t care because since 1997, they have felt the whole industry should hinge on workrate, and title belts. When WCW fell, Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff, and Hulk Hogan didn’t get hurt at all. They didn’t even learn from their mistakes. Wishing that TNA dies because you’re obsessed with making sure Dixie Carter fails, is stupid. Dixie Carter will still be a millionaire, and she’ll probably blame the internet anyway. TV stations won’t want to put on anymore wrestling, if TNA failed then why would I invest anything in ROH, or pay a crap load of money to keep lucha wrestlers in America for my “barley a channel” (El Rey)cable channel? See this hurts your chances of getting a huge Bullet Club invasion angle in ROH?

I’ve never seen an executive ever say, “Wow CBS is such a bad network, it needs to die so another network can come in.”, nobody would say that. No movie studio head is ever going to say, “You know Heath Ledger was such a great Joker that I’m going to order that no movie can be made with the Joker in it.”, only a dipshit net-mark says this crazy shit. We just saw Fox release a doomed version of the Fantastic Four, they knew it would fail, and released it, and Fox can release a horrible Fantastic Four movie for the next billion years and not get hurt. Fox isn’t going to fail based on whether they stick with the source material of a comic book, that hasn’t been that great since…ever.

Okay we’re back to wrestling. TNA isn’t going to fail based on storylines, or who’s champ. The reason is because they’re doing the best a non-WWE company can do. The reason you hear stories about promoters stiffing wrestlers out of their pay is because there’s no money in wrestling. I know we love the narrative of a rich girl that has her daddy buy a wrestling company as her new toy, but that’s the wife beating red neck in us talking like that. We know that TNA doesn’t make money because there’s nobody that wants to watch more than 3 hours of wrestling a week. If fans liked workrate and pure talent so much then they’d be watching TNA and ROH every week. They aren’t, and some of that is Destination America’s fault.

I remember Konnan saying that since there are so many Latinos in America, Lucha Libre would be huge in America. That seems logical enough to me, but Lucha Underground was shopped all over, and only El Rey was interested. I guess you can partially blame racist white Tv Execs, but that only goes so far. White TV execs love money way more than they hate people of color. In fact as I’m writing this, I’m sitting in a bath tub full of money. I can’t even think about race because this money feels so great.

Lucha Underground suffers from the same issue TNA does. It’s a wrestling show. Pro-wrestling was a 90’s fad that went nowhere, ugh. They don’t want your washed up ideas. The problem is that a national wrestling company needs a tv deal to sell tickets, sell merchandise, and produce content so you buy their PPV’s. This all loops around. I guess TNA doesn’t sell tickets, but you know what I mean. My kid doesn’t want a Kevin Steen action figure, he wants Kevin Owens. See?

Now that we got through all that bullshit, I think Destination America screwed TNA and ROH, and itself by default. First, TNA is made all these promises and signs with DA. DA then decides TNA costs to much, and the ratings aren’t that great, and wants out. TNA is their highest rated show still. All the other shows are ROH, and Redneck Ghost Fucking, and nobody watches those. They should’ve kept promoting their other shows(like Incest Ghost Fucking) and kept TNA for awhile, and let the other shows gain viewers. It makes me wonder if Destination America is a stable channel altogether? They should know this. This is basic shit.

Anyway, DA jumps the gun and ends their deal with TNA, and brings in ROH. The problem is that they decide to tell ROH to spruce up their look. ROH does, and DA puts them at like 11pm. Still, even with TNA, no one is watching ROH. I love both companies, but I’ve had people tell me they don’t watch ROH still because it looks cheap. I know what you’re thinking, Smark-Master, but these are the majority of wrestling fans now. I think TNA will find a TV deal if they can keep delusional guitar bashing ex-wrestlers from messing everything up. I also think ROH has a great opportunity to become the number 2 fed. They’re already got away from the high school gym arenas, and are focusing on the wrestler’s personality over his “vast in-ring ability”. I mean look at Jimmy Jacobs evolution, and The Briscoes have come into actual marketable looks. ROH is looking like more than a fake MMA show in a multi-purpose room, in some dead blighted shit whole. I mean like those cities where the only other buildings are gutted factories, and falling down warehouses.

I’ll close here, but I think it’s time we stop this stupid brand loyalty shit. Stop fighting over pop-culture bullshit. Be a man and do drywall, or visit your mayor.

Top Stupid Rumors That I know Are BS. Diva Edition

5) Eva Marie is so dangerous in the ring that other Divas won’t get in the ring with her.

4) Lana does MMA and Brazilian Jujitsu, and is being trained by Charlotte.

3) Mickey James is coming back to WWE as a trainer.

2) Michael Hayes raped Rosa Mendes, and her baby is his.

1 ) Sexy Star is coming to WWE, but Vince wants her to takeoff her mask first. 




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