Summer is over (more or less) and that means we’re now in the traditional, yearly slump between the July and August events and the first fall PPV and/or cards. Now I could finally finish the second part of the Tiger Mask story, write a column about other wrestling legends or launch myself in another long, rambling speech about what is wrong with WWE, what is right with NJPW, why I don’t even watch TNA anymore, why I enjoy ROH, and how GFW has somehow become the laughing stock of the industry despite the fact no-one has actually been able to watch one of their shows yet. But, and I’ve said this before, sometime I’m just lazy. So today I’m gonna indulge in something we, males, will never admit doing but do anyway: gossiping. This column will be just me amusing myself with browsing the various wrestling sites, collecting rumors and speculation and commenting on them. You’ve been warned
1 – Wedding Bells:
Several sites report that John Laurinaitis is engaged to the Bella’s mother. Aside from the fact that I find the thought of Laurinaitis being Daniel Bryan’s father-in-law disturbing for some reason, I do wonder if that marriage will happen on RAW. And if CM Punks will be John’s best man.
2 – And the next NXT Woman’s Champion is:
According to WWE insiders, Bayley’s next challenger will be Dana Brooke. And the Eva Marie. Yes the Eva Marie push is to continue and even expand to the point where Eva Marie would become the NXT Woman’s Champion in the very near future. The thought behind this would be Eva Marie proving her critic wrong trough hard work. Good luck with that. Nothing against Eva or Marie but Sasha Banks and Bayley have all been champions this year. Adding the Queen of Blank Expressions to that list would be like one of those “Search for the error” kind of things. Besides if this is another one of those “the belt will make the man”, or woman in this case, I thought wrestling was past that tired old cliché by now.
3 – TNA does it again:
Amidst rumors of Destination America wanting to get rid of Impact, TNA officials have tried to occult said rumors by teasing several Big Announcements. One of which is “A big name from TNA’s past soon to be returning to play a big role in the company”. Wouldn’t it be funny if that return just happened to be Hulk Hogan? Who then declares Bobby Lashley to be the true son of Hulkamania? Funnily enough, the Hogan rumor is actually taken seriously by some and with good reason. Hogan can’t leave wrestling alone, and TNA is desperate enough to think this would actually help. Frankly, those two deserve each-other at this point.
4 – Welcome to WWE! (1)
Apparently some have suggested that wrestlers looking for work in the WWE should delete any comment that might be construed as offensive in any way from their social media accounts. Woman should also delete sexually themed photo’s because, after the Zahra Schreiber incident, WWE is on the warpath! Apparently WWE might start digging into the social media accounts of wrestlers BEFORE signing them. I can already imagine some of the discussion at Stamford: “Look boss, that guy is drinking a cup of black coffee. Is that racism?” “Oh my god, that girl once cosplayed as a smurf one day!!! Is that fetishism?”. Anyway, perhaps they should start with screening Vinnie Mac’s accounts…
5 – Welcome to WWE! (2)
Lots of rumors about WWE signing indie stars, these past few weeks. Only Kanna and Richie Swann have been (more or less) officially confirmed and Biff Bussick is another strong possibility. But rumors or not, it’s safe to say WWE has been very active hiring new talent lately, be they wrestlers or bikini models (Amanda has been spotted at the Performance center). I hear wrestling biggest free agent (in his own mind), Vince Russo, is keeping a 24/7 watch on his phone.
6 – Such a nice guy:
There were rumors last week about John Cena being injured in a live event match against Kevin Owens. I can now reassure every Cena hater out there, he will be back in action today. And tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. And… Well, you get the picture. Ever the nice guy, KO Immediately took credit for the “injury” on twitter: “That wasn’t life… That was me.” With tweets like that how can he NOT become WWE Champion at some point.
7 – Day off:
Barrett tweeted about getting a day off from shooting the next WWE movie: The Eliminators. Day off? I though WWE creative had given him the year off…
8 – Fun with Trios:
In serious news, for once, Chikara held it’s annual King of Trios tournament. Team AAA (Aero Star, Drago and Fénix defeated The Bullet Club (AJ Styles and The Young Bucks) in the finals. I’ve always liked this tournament becomes it often manages to come up with very original teams. Brudershaft Des Kreuzes, for example, sounds awesome, WWE should totally hire them, I’m sure they would handle the German thing with sensitivity and subtelty. And I can’t help but laugh when I read there is a wrestler running around as the Proletarian Boar of Moldova. Wasn’t that Rusev’s original gimmick? The bWo (Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova) is still doing the NWO parody act fifteen years later and finally we have a team called Crown & Court comprised of El Hijo Del Ice Cream, Ice Cream Jr and… Princess KimberLee? I guess Princess Cream was already taken by Submission Sorority. Wrestling gimmicks, gotta love them.
9 – To be a doll or not to be a doll:
Apparently, the Diva action figure that sells best is Paige’s. Wait, they do not want people calling them barbie’s and then they make dolls of themselves? I’m confused.
10 – Ambrose is not God…
Much speculation about who the third member of the Ambrose/Reigns team is gonna be. Obviously Sting is out of the running, Erick Rowan is still a possibility, but, according to some, the following picture was briefly posted on WWE.com:
OK, I’m glad WWE has so much trust in Ambrose’s ability to make people cheer for someone else, but, come on guys, Reigns AND Corbin? Even Ambrose can’t perform miracles, you know. And remember, it’s all a rumor until it’s unofficially confirmed.
Match of the week:
As a treat, a little something I ran across this week, a Shinsuke Nakamura vs Kurt Angle match from 2008. Enjoy!
That’s all from me this week, see you all later and have fun!
Tags: Baron Corbin, bayley, Chikara, dean ambrose, Eva Marie, John Laurinaitis, Kevin Owens, Paige, Roman Reigns